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Fertility problems can be highly stressful--as are the tests, investigations and treatment procedures. They frequently evoke a range of powerful feelings--including anxiety, anger, grief, humiliation, denial, confusion, guilt, blaming and depression. Often self-esteem suffers. This is normal!
It¹s not easy to make good decision in this highly stressed state. It can be difficult to continue one¹s normal social life and work. The relationship between a couple often is tested to the limit.
In general, counselling is a process through which individuals and couples are given the opportunity to explore their thoughts, emotions, reactions and beliefs with an impartial and sympathetic professional who understands the issues involved.
Good counselling helps people cope better. It usually brings greater clarity, a broader perspective and some peace of mind. Decisions about what choices to make become less murky and are based on realism and self-knowledge. The process should be strictly confidential.
The Law & Fertility Counselling
The Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) requires that anyone undergoing licensed treatment MUST be offered counselling by the clinic. Sometimes this counselling is free. It is well worth finding out how a fertility clinic operates its counselling procedures--as they are not all the same. Some are more generous than others.
You are not obliged to accept counselling, but you may find it a valuable opportunity--you won¹t know until you try. It is important to find a counsellor whom you like and respect. (Sometimes clinics have more than one counsellor available.)
The HFEA Code of Practice sets out three types of counselling that should be available in licensed clinics. These include:
1) Implications Counselling
The implications of treatment that you are considering will be explored with you. The course of treatment may have implications not just for you, but also for your wider family and any children born as a result. This type of counselling is aimed particularly at people thinking about using donated sperm, eggs or embryos. It may also include genetic counselling.
2) Support Counselling
The aim is to provide emotional support at times of particular stress--for example, when treatment fails to produce a pregnancy or the pregnancy ends in miscarriage. It¹s important to remember that most high-tech fertility treatment, such as IVF or ICSI, do not succeed. There is the potential for a lot of disappointment connected with these procedures.
Support counselling might also be useful if you discover you are pregnant with twins or triplets.
3) Therapeutic Counselling
This usually encompasses support counselling, but goes beyond it. Broadly speaking, it aims to help people cope with the consequences of infertility and fertility treatment. The HFEA brochure says it Oincludes helping people to adjust their expectations and to accept the situation¹. It may also help couples repair any damage to their relationship caused by the stresses of fertility problems & treatment. It could offer a chance to explore wider issues that may be hindering a successful outcome.
You can find more about counselling in the HFEA publication, The Patients' Guide to Infertity and IVF which is free.
Contact the HFEA at: Paxton House, 30 Artillery Lane, London E1 7LS, England
Tel: 020 7377 5077 Fax: 020 7377 1871 Website: www.hfea.gov.uk
Support Groups
Some clinics also offer support groups, which can be very worth while too if well-run--especially in dispelling the idea that no one else is experiencing similar dilemmas or distressing extremes of emotions.
There are fertility counsellors who offer independent support groups and workshops for people with fertility problems (Meredith Wheeler). As these take place away from the clinic setting, some people find them more relaxing and appealing. Certain groups & workshops are aimed at people hoping for children; others are designed for those coping with failed treatment and/or the prospect of unwanted childlessness.
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