I always looked forward to him coming in for his next appointment and luckily he needed a few appointments, so I got to see him quite a bit!!. His treatment finished in August 1994 and in September we went out for an evening with our best mates, we had such a good evening.

The following Friday we went out on our first real date, and we fell in love very fast, we moved in with each other in a rented flat within 6 weeks.

The following year we brought our first home and started talking about babies, we had both always wanted children so we thought it would be the next stage.

In 1998 we got married , it was the best day of my life (so far), we said we would try for our family straight away ( actually we started trying a couple of months before our wedding, thinking that it wouldn’t show !!, but nothing happened.

We had a fantastic honeymoon in The Maldives, it was paradise, such a lovely place to conceive our so wanted baby, but it wasn’t to be, we kept trying for about a year and in the end I said we should go and see the doctor.

They booked us in for some tests and then we went away for a week, at the end of the week I was feeling ill but took no notice and thought I had picked up a bug but it continued then AF was late so I done a pg test, OH MY GOD, I AM PREGNANT, I was the happiest girl in the world , this happiness was short lived, in May 2000 we found out our baby was ectopic, they had to take my tube and the baby, and also gave us the bad news that my other tube was in a bad way and advised to have it removed at some stage.

We went on for the few months just trying to cope with our loss when in August I started to go numb down my left side of my body, my walking became bad and I ended up with a limp and in the end I went to the doctor and he told me I should have a scan.

Being stubborn, I didn’t want one and left it, then it happened again, so in January 2001 I went for the MRI scan.

In February (actually Valentines Day) I was told I had M.S, we were both devastated, I thought that I had nothing going for, couldn’t give my loving husband a child or our parents a grandchild, and now I might end up in a wheelchair, I just couldn’t understand why this was happening to me.

This made up my mind, I needed to have the tube removed and get on with having IVF, it was one of the hardest things to do, knowing that there was never going to be a chance ever of me conceiving without help, but it had to be done.

I had read about IVF in the papers but never did I think I would ever be having it, it was something other people had not me, but how wrong can you be……………

We started our first go in July 2001 but it was negative, we were sad but we had said the first go was a trial run, in January this year we had our 2^nd go, this is when I found Fertility friends, and I felt as though a weight had been taken off me, there were other people going through this and there were people out there that understood what I was going through.

We couldn’t believe it when the test was positive, we went for a scan and they said it was twins but one had died very early and then a couple of weeks later the other one never made it.

A few days later I went and had our baby removed, we were both devastated, and thought our lives had falling apart.

In July we had another go and the same thing happened again, we succeeded and it was twins again, but our babies never made it, I had them taken away from me in September.

At the moment life feels very unfair, and things are hard for both of us, but we are strong people and most of all we are strong together.

We have now been diagnosed with Hughes Syndrome and we hope this is the reason why we keep losing our dreams.

I am now on aspirin and heparin to try and help stop the miscarriages.

We are currently on our 4^th cycle of Ivf, and in the dreaded 2 ww !!!!

 

I have said this is our last go, so fingers crossed that this is the one…………….

 

Jo & Paul xxx

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