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Pregnant after loss : 1st ~ 3rd trimester Part 8

112K views 1K replies 37 participants last post by  Stalyvegas 
#1 ·
^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^
Happy Chatting
^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^ ^fairydust^
 
#452 ·
You can have a bath so long as the water is not too hot - they say it should not be hot enough to turn your skin red  :) I would love a bath but somehow can't get comfy in the bath anymore with my back and pelvic pain  ::) So I'm sticking to showers.


IVFmamma, that's so funny - I do remember Zac cried in the bath if it wasn't warm enough  ^idiot^ It's what made us buy a bath thermometer  ;D Nowadays he doesn't like it too hot, can't win can you  ;D


Girls, the due date for the baby I lost is coming up next month. It's been on my mind a lot. I am so happy and grateful to be pregnant again by this point, but I don't want to forget about my angel baby. I want to do something small and simple to mark the occasion. Also to give a focal point to the day so I have something to concentrate on instead of just feeling sad all day. I am thinking of planting a rose in the garden. It's my favourite flower. Has anyone else done something like this?
 
#453 ·
Hi all

Madamecissy: glad ur scan went Well huni xxx

MissT: aww sorry u have had a rough time xxx hope it gets better for u xxx

Hey to everyone else xx hopes have all had a lovely Easter weekend x


I'm back now from my visit back home seeing family and friends x it was very nice and while there we got rest of baby things for the room and for her. Dh mum works at toysrus and got us lots of discount on the babies r us vintage love and hearts collection is amazing . We are  now just waiting for the bedroom furniture to be delivered we went for the ascot range in oak x love love it. My sister bought our tome tippe bottle n steriliser collection. My mil bought our perfect prep machine. So we still have our 80 grift card from my friends who organised my secret baby shower.im sure we will spend it soon tho lol. My dad made us a baby swinging crib which u can swing or have standing still. It took him 3 months and is amazing xx we need to get a mattered for it tho.
 
#454 ·
Baths- I was told is was fine as long as it wasn't too hot and definitely no hot tubs!  I was deeply paranoid so avoided baths and just had hot showers through the whole pregnancy. It was truly just paranoia though. Go for it, it's fine.

Wind- hot water at the beginning of each day. Try some peppermint water if it's too uncomfortable. That helped me with the wind. My consultant prescribed it but you can buy it over the counter. X

Carrie, I think that's a beautiful idea. I like the lasting memory of the rose. We did an 'Idaac day' and did things we though we would do if he was here on his first birthday. We had a picnic in the garden by St.Thomas' and the Thames. We also went to the London Aquarium and the London Eye. The next day we through a Running for Isaac  first birthday party and raised some money for the hospital we support. It was meaningful but difficult as we knew it would be. I guess that's the key though. Do something meaningful for you guys. Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be a beautiful way to remember. Hugs. X.


 
#455 ·
good evening ladies!

I think your idea is beautiful Carrie.  We were planning on planting a raspberry bush in honor of our first angel baby.  I just love the idea of it being there forever and continuing to blossom, just like the memory that remains in our heart. 

hello to everyone else! sorry I've lost track a bit of what's going on with everyone and will need to catch up. I've been so nauseous over the last week and having the worst of the runs too with every meal.  I felt horribly guilty for not eating the Easter hens my mother in law made-- but one sight of chicken these days makes me gag.  Despite it being a little incapacitating, it does reassure me that the pregnancy is likely progressing.  One more week until our next scan! ^pray^

 
#456 ·
Joiedevivre, sorry you've been feeling like crap. I know how that feels, haha. Glad to see things are going well for you and I hope your scan shows you everything you want!

Simone, thanks for the tip on the wind! I'll try that.. In the end I has a bath last night and I managed to relax a lot, which sorted some of the problems for me and this morning I feel less bloated.

AFM, 12 weeks today and I can barely believe it! Most days I can barely grasp we got this far. I still feel like pants most days. It seems from 9,5 weeks onwards the sickness and the nausea has only gotten worse and I am still throwing up on a regular basis. I'm exhausted and am ready for those lovely pregnancy side effects to settle down. 6 weeks till my NT scan!
 
G
#457 ·
Morning  :) I've lost track a little as well. I haven't wanted to post too much as I've been so anxious recently & don't want to sound like a broken record  :-\ Tomorrow I've got my appt with a specialist consultant and got to get a 2 hr train to London. Won't be home til about 10pm. He specialises in cerclages and will probably advise I get one, altho my normal consultant doesn't think I need it. It's been such a scary terrifying time  :-[ I feel like I'm now leaning towards getting it done as a precaution altho there are serious risks too. Apparently you only get diagnosed with incompetent cervix if youve had 2 later losses. what a risk to wait and see!! Will be glad to have made a decision & hopefully got safely past this period!

Good luck with your scan Joiedevivre  :) Sorry you've not felt well, hopefully that won't last long.

Carrie that's a nice thought. Last year to mark the 1 yr anniversary of my loss I went to a local baby memorial garden, which had just been opened & doves & balloons were being released. I agree it's nice to plant something. I never quite got round to it as I didn't know if we'd stay at the same house or not!

Dee those baby things sound nice, how exciting!

Madame Cissy and Leam you're probably fine with baths. I'm avoiding them & all swimming, spas etc due to risk of infection but it's probably not necessary! Re wind, I find if I eat too large a quantity it's worse, and bready things can cause me trouble! Am avoiding beans too  ;D

Williwinki hope you feel more relaxed soon, won't be that long til your scan  ^hugme^

Miss Turneriffic, your poor little one! Hope things calm down for you all soon  ^hugme^

Ivfmamma and Simone so nice hearing about your LO's too!

Sorry for people I've missed out, hope everyone having a good week xx


 
#458 ·
Carrie lou - thinking of you with your angel due date coming up.  We let off balloons on Brighton beech for our girls angelversary. I think the plant sounds lovely, an everlasting memorial.

Xx ran72
 
#459 ·
  Carrie we did something very similar I think its a lovely idea  ^hugme^xx

Thanks a lot for the advice re baths ladies  :) I've got another scan next week with the rec m/c specialist so I will prob hang fire till then.

Sorry this is a personal question please don't feel obliged to reply, how long did you guys wait until after bfp before getting intimate? Sorry feel embarrassed for asking, my clinic discharge notes said it was fine but just wanted to ask your opinions :p xx
 
#460 ·
Carrie - a rose sounds like a lovely idea!  I've got friends who planted a fruit tree in the same way.  I think that anything beautiful that you can look at to remember the child in a good way would work.
Will be thinking of you - I always found the due date the hardest time
xx
 
#461 ·
Carrie ~ Thinking of you, i think that is a lovely idea  ^hugme^
Cherish ~ Big  ^hugme^ I don't know anything about cerlages, is it a stitch in the cervix? Hope the apt goes well tomorrow, and you come with a plan that your are happy with and that reassures you  ^reiki^
Madamecissy ~ Congrats on reaching the 12 week milestone, it feels like a really big one  ^hugme^
I still had baths with DS, and now, but not hot ones. I was advised you should be able to step straight in, not have to lower yourself.
Sorry for those i missed  ^hugme^
AFM, not feeling very positive at all. My mum told me to be positive last night, i thought "Why? I'd just be setting myself up for greater disappointment". I dreamt last night that I broke into the maternity hospital to try and scan myself but got caught, then the lady scanned me and baby had died, and i was on my own without DP in the middle of the night....was awful. Scan is 2 weeks today, i really want a scan sooner, but i don't have any real reason to request an EPU scan apart from the fact i am going loopy ^idiot^
xxx
 
#462 ·
Willy, I know they're expensive but what about a private scan to ease your mind? We got ours through private-ultrasound (google them). They have places all up and down the country and it put my mind at ease a lot. Hugs  ^hugme^

I just had one of my odd pregnancy food moments. I've made chilli for tonight but I couldn't fight the desire to whack a load of that chilli onto a seeded bun and eat it. So I did...
 
#463 ·
Leam, we just didn't have sex!  Too scared plus my placenta was low so didn't want to take the risk. However, most say after 12 weeks is fine. X

MadameC, all this craving for odd foods is great!  Although I don't think chilli in a seeded bun is too odd!  X

Willy. I did two private scans. I felt I needed the reassurance. They are pricy but for me it was worth it. My credit card got a bit of a bashing! X

Cherish, good luck with appointment. Let us know how it goes. X
 
#464 ·
peekaboo!

just updated the diary though it's sketchy.. so tired!

really not feeling well at all...

hugs to all, i have been reading just unable to do the whole co-ordinated brain/typing thing.

Spot's here safe though we have feeding and lethargy issues....  ^pray^ hoping he perks up a bit. But he's very beautiful.

 
#465 ·
Carrie; we are going to get a couple of trees to put in pots to remember our lost angels x I think it is a lovely idea x

Joie: Hope you feel better soon huni x but like u said least it makes u be reassured things are going well. Made me feel at ease no matter how bad I felt x

Madame cissy : I am still throwing up now and I'm 37 weeks lol x

Cherish:it is very exciting lovely and soon it will be your turn to get ready as it goes by so fast once 20 weeks scan has been I think x

Leam: we were just past 20 weeks when we got frisky lol and that is only time as it was uncomfortable and he went away x.

Afm: I am now 37 weeks and tonight getting niggley pains down by my pubic bone area not sure what to make of it. In pain and feel weord when I walk to. Could I be in very early labor ? I don't know but I'm gonna have a warm bath n see if it eases. The thing that stops me thinking its labor or early labor is that baby is moving lots x 
 
#466 ·
Exciting Dee!  Maybe! See how the pains are but ring midwife to double check if you're worried. It could be BH. I had them a lot in hospital at 36 weeks. Good luck Hun. X

GB, just read your diary. I'm so very glad you and Spot are safe and well(ish- in your case). I have been on all the meds you're on- precautionary and due to blood loss. The iron will mess up your digestive system. Have some lactolose at the ready if you need it. I know how difficult a traumatic birth can be. Give yourself time to process and ask for help if you need it. Spot sounds lovely. He's here!  Congratulations!  X

 
#467 ·
GB I just read your diary will have to post here as I can't reply on your diary it doesn't allow it..

I thought you might have had a section.. You have been too quite on here the past week lol.

All those symptoms your describing after csection is what I had, blood thinners, antibiotics, stockings, painkillers, bruised belly etc.. It does get easier I promise, just takes a while, id say you will be in pain for 2-3 weeks then it gets easier.. I did too much too soon & was shopping the day I came home, pushing pram up kerbs, doing the washing etc.. I regretted it big time the next few days.

I didn't dare check my scar till Taylor was 8 weeks old, thinking id have a 3ft incision but actually I was surprised an 8 pounder came out of it lol.

Same lb weight as spot which is nice & chunky to say they both arrived a week early.

Did you have pethidine during labour? I only ask as you said spot was tired & lethargic, well I had pethidine, even though my birth plan instructed not to have pethidine but I was in incredible pain & the midwife promised it would help (it bloody well did not help at all) but i had it anyways, & Taylor was sleepy for a couple of days afterwards & that was because of the pethidine, it sooned flushed out his system though. He was only drinking one ounce of milk the first couple of days & falling asleep on the bottle after a sip bless him.

So glad spot is here & safe, you will feel much better soon, sorry you had a distressing time of it, it will all soon be a distant memory & you will be planning to use them frosties up lol.

Get some rest. Easier said than done though I know!  ^hugme^ X



 
#469 ·
GB Congratulations!!  Delighted spot is here and safely.  Re the iron take something now and soon to help you move, (tmi) I ended with a very sore bottom after weeks of difficult toilet movements that's still sore yet!  And the straining isn't so nice after a section so get something I'd you can to keep it to a minimum!

Congrats again on spot he's georgeous 😃

Lisa x
 
#470 ·
GB - I forgot to add about the feeding situation...

Midwifes have a habit of all having a difference in opinion of what you should be feeding, one told me one thing & the next one told me another thing it's confusing when you have never had your own baby before so I just ignored any advice & did it my way as all there opinions on what should be fed was too confusing.

Taylor used to have 2-3 ounces every 4 hours for the first week but he was lazy drinking for the first week as he was so sleepy, then when he was about a week old it was approx 3 ounces every 3 hours, then from 3 weeks old it was 4 ounces every 3 hours, then slowly crept up & now well he just has a full tin of milk every feed or seems like that anyway lol.. He now downs 8oz like my other half downs a pint lol.

I'm not sure if your breast feeding or formula feeding but the tins on the back have a guideline which I read & found helpful, but the paediatrician told me it's best to feed on demand for the first few weeks, but as you say spot is sleepy, which Taylor was so we used to have to wake him up for his feeds as he just would happily sleep through an earth quake when he was newborn.

When he was about 3 weeks old I stopped waking him & let him do the waking, I figured if he was hungry he would let us know. X
 
#471 ·
GB congrats!  Glad you and spot are both well  :)

i was back to my normal self amd driving 10 days post section with the twins. I was amazed how quick i recovered after such a traumatic birth.

X
 
#472 ·
So great to hear from you GB! Glad spot is here safe but sorry you've had traumas and horrid after effects. I daren't read your diary as already I am worrying about the birth of strong bean (which in itself is a step forward that I'm daring to think as far ahead as the birth!). Sounds like spot is good robust beautiful baby.

Today - sudden and severe leg cramps. I haven't had this since I broke my foot 3 years ago. Is this pregnancy related, if so why?

Xx ran72
 
#473 ·
Hi Goldbunny! Wow what a story - so sorry to hear you're both still under the weather. Tongue tie was covered in my NCT class, it goes to show you always have more to learn about the whole baby thing. Can't believe it took them so long to find out about that though. Really hope you feel better soon and your body recovers. People always say the bad memories fade, so hopefully things will look up for you soon xxx

Ran - yes, cramps are to do with the pregnancy, make sure you drink enough and have some magnesium. xx

IVFmamma - your advice is spot on, I just finished a book called 'Keep Calm and enjoy your baby' and it also says that every mummy is their own baby's expert, to trust your instincts and so on :) Sounds sensible to me, since how would the human race have survived for millions of years without any baby books!

Dee - sorry you're still sick. I bet you can't wait to meet your baby soon, keep us posted on what's happening x

Willie - give yourself some time for the positive thoughts to sink in. I think I only felt 'safe'ish' at around 24 weeks, lol!x

Leam - I actually had sex with my DP the day of the FET, I like to think he nailed it into place, haha  ;D So basically we just carried on as normal, I don't remember a time when I felt I didn't want to do it (new relationship and all that...) So just enjoy and go with your feelings!x

Cherish, wishing you well for your appointment. Good to be seen by a specialist as you don't want to miss the deadline for the stitch if you need one. One of my friends had one (I think she had 2 early m/cs) and had a gorgeous baby daughter last year (33 weeks but she is happy & healthy!). Another friend got diagnosed with cervical weakness too late and is already dilating, she'd only had one m/c and is preparing herself for a preemie baby because they never put a stitch in... At least you will get an expert opinion!xx

AFM, my growth scan showed a humongous baby weighing the same as the average 37 week baby, he's happy and alert, and kept playing with the cord so the doctor couldn't get the blood flow measured for ages! He's still breech and one of my fibroids is right near my cervix (the area I've had all this pain..) so I need more appointments. Will know a bit more next Monday!
I got a very cute picture of baby kissing the scanner, it shows an adorable nose, chin and lips :)


 
#474 ·
ran I think the diary is safe enough to read, I kinda wrote a pretty 'potted version' of events. Really there's no major issue, I feel lucky that the right decision was made to get me a section and that baby Spotlingbunny is safely here... there's a billion ways things could have been worse and although I was ill I'm home and alive and I'm sure the memories and physical things will fade in time.

thank you all for all the well wishes.  ^hugme^
 
#475 ·
I really love your new profile pic, GB!xx
 
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