* Author Topic: A New Chat Thread for Twin Mummies bringing up lone twins  (Read 51092 times)

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Offline kitty123

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Hello Sassilon,


I'm really sorry to hear of your loss. Sebastian is a lovely name. I hope his brother and sister are doing well at home with you.


We also lost a triplet boy, Ted, who is Laurie's identical brother. My little boy and little girl are both just over 2 and a half. We've only got as far as saying goodnight to Ted each night. They are just starting to understand that they are brother and sister (and calling each other brother and sister) so over the next few months we might start introducing that Ted was/is their brother. We're just feeling our way really, but like you want to make sure he is part of their lives without casting a shadow. You summed it up really well and I am sure the right thing is to try to do things as naturally as possible. I'll let you know how we get on.


Again, so sorry that you lost your little boy. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to.


Lisa xxxxx






Offline beckalouise

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Hi all

Just wanted to add my story as have been looking on the general loss treads but like others have said didn't feel that was the right place to post so glad I found here.

My beautiful boys were born 10wks ago at 38wks, heartbreakingly twin 1, Elliott was born sleeping and we were told he must have gone about a week earlier unknown to me.  However I am forever grateful that my miracle twin 2, Austin is a happy healthy baby who gives us such joy.

My emotions are so mixed but generally I do manage to enjoy every day but then feel guilty that Elliott isnt here to enjoy the things we do too.

It has helped me to read the other posts so thank you girls

Beckalouise x

P.s big big  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ to all so sorry for you losses x

Offline kitty123

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Hello Beckalouise,


This is a (thankfully) quiet thread, but I'm glad you found us. Lots of  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^  from me and so sorry for the loss of little Elliott. Such a hard thing to come to terms with.


My thoughts are with you,
Kitty
xxxxx

Offline beckalouise

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Well it's 5.45am and I've been awake for hours thinking about my little man Elliott and not sure how to handle the festive period I want him to be here soooo much.

Elliott I love you soooo much I hope you don't think we have forgotten you whilst Austin gets all the attention and of coz all those pressies under the tree!!!!

Thinking of you all on this tread too, any tips on how to get though the next few days gratefully received x

Offline Jazz 'N' Dylan

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My tip would be to simply allow yourself time and space to think of Elliott - I always take a moment, every day, even just to say good night to Noah at bedtime with Leah.  In the first year I used to dedicate a much longer period of time each day, and I would talk to him in my head, but as I moved to a different type of grief the amount of time I needed decreased, which I did not feel guilty about as I knew Noah is a part of who I am, and I do not need to consciously miss him to be connected, but the first months were definitely the hardest, and each birthday and festive occasion brings all of the original emotions of loss and despair back to the foreground.

I hope you have been able to talk to family and friends about Elliott and how you are feeling, and I hope that Austin's first Christmas was as special as can be.

Thinking of you and sending you  ^hugme^ xx

Offline minimay

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Beckalouise, this was our 1st Christmas without Ryan. I wanted to be so happy and excited for James but inside I was just so desperately sad that he is without his twin. I spent some moments missing him but then I concentrated on James.
I completely agree with jazz n Dylan that you don't need to consciously miss him everyday. I know he lives inside me and in James. We are all better people because he was in our lives and I will make sure James lives life to the very fullest.
Hugs for this difficult time of year  ^hugme^

Offline beckalouise

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Thank you jazz n Dylan & minimay for your messages it has always helped me to know I'm not alone in losing a much loved twin. Hope you and your families had a lovely Christmas, ours was v special and Austin was v spoilt however it was difficult as not only missing Elliott not been there but it was our first Christmas without mum who loved Christmas and spoilt me rotten too!!

Minimay - noticed your signature, congratulations  :) I've already discussed FET with DH but he's not having any of it yet (or ever), how did you know when it was the right time for you?

Thanks again and best wishes for 2012 x

Offline minimay

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Hi beckalouise. When we lost Ryan, Dh and I agreed that we would try asap to give james a sibling close in age as that way they tend to be more close. I had to wait until i stopped breastfeeding for af to return so we could start Fet.

Hope everyone has a nice new year  ^hugme^

Offline RB76

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A New Chat Thread for Twin Mummies bringing up lone twins
« Reply #138 on: 12/12/13, 21:49 »
Just wondered if there are any mummies around in this position, I know this is an old thread but am feeling pretty isolated x

Offline beckalouise

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A New Chat Thread for Twin Mummies bringing up lone twins
« Reply #139 on: 14/12/13, 08:10 »
So very sorry to read your post RB76 . It's truly heartbreaking but time will slowly heal and your surviving twin WILL give you the strength to get through the darkest days  ^hugme^

I've noticed that most of the twin mummies who only get to bring one baby home don't post on here but you are definitely not alone  :'(

Take care  ^hugme^

 

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