A New Chat Thread for Twin Mummies bringing up lone twins

[kitty123]

Hello Beckalouise,


This is a (thankfully) quiet thread, but I'm glad you found us. Lots of    from me and so sorry for the loss of little Elliott. Such a hard thing to come to terms with.


My thoughts are with you,
Kitty
xxxxx

[beckalouise]

Well it's 5.45am and I've been awake for hours thinking about my little man Elliott and not sure how to handle the festive period I want him to be here soooo much.

Elliott I love you soooo much I hope you don't think we have forgotten you whilst Austin gets all the attention and of coz all those pressies under the tree!!!!

Thinking of you all on this tread too, any tips on how to get though the next few days gratefully received x

[Jazz 'N' Dylan]

My tip would be to simply allow yourself time and space to think of Elliott - I always take a moment, every day, even just to say good night to Noah at bedtime with Leah.  In the first year I used to dedicate a much longer period of time each day, and I would talk to him in my head, but as I moved to a different type of grief the amount of time I needed decreased, which I did not feel guilty about as I knew Noah is a part of who I am, and I do not need to consciously miss him to be connected, but the first months were definitely the hardest, and each birthday and festive occasion brings all of the original emotions of loss and despair back to the foreground.

I hope you have been able to talk to family and friends about Elliott and how you are feeling, and I hope that Austin's first Christmas was as special as can be.

Thinking of you and sending you  xx

[minimay]

Beckalouise, this was our 1st Christmas without Ryan. I wanted to be so happy and excited for James but inside I was just so desperately sad that he is without his twin. I spent some moments missing him but then I concentrated on James.
I completely agree with jazz n Dylan that you don't need to consciously miss him everyday. I know he lives inside me and in James. We are all better people because he was in our lives and I will make sure James lives life to the very fullest.
Hugs for this difficult time of year 

[beckalouise]

Thank you jazz n Dylan & minimay for your messages it has always helped me to know I'm not alone in losing a much loved twin. Hope you and your families had a lovely Christmas, ours was v special and Austin was v spoilt however it was difficult as not only missing Elliott not been there but it was our first Christmas without mum who loved Christmas and spoilt me rotten too!!

Minimay - noticed your signature, congratulations  I've already discussed FET with DH but he's not having any of it yet (or ever), how did you know when it was the right time for you?

Thanks again and best wishes for 2012 x

[minimay]

Hi beckalouise. When we lost Ryan, Dh and I agreed that we would try asap to give james a sibling close in age as that way they tend to be more close. I had to wait until i stopped breastfeeding for af to return so we could start Fet.

Hope everyone has a nice new year