* Author Topic: A New Chat Thread for Twin Mummies bringing up lone twins  (Read 51486 times)

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Offline Rachel

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Clare

Huge huge hugs sweetheart  ^hugme^ ^hugme^

You blurt it out all you want to when you're ready. I find it helps to write things down.

Take care my lovely

Rachel xxx

Offline Donna Taylor

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Big Hugs Clare xx x

Offline AggieJ

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Kiwi,

This is the thread hun. Can be resurrected at any time  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^

Offline kiwitk

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A big thanks to Aggie for pointing me to this thread :)

I am hoping for some good news stories and also advice on what scans/tests I should be asking for at the hospial. 

Our situation - currently 21+5 weeks pregnant, and up until last wednesday with twins.  Went for our 20 week scan last wednesday all excited to find out what we were going to have only to be told that we'd lost one of our babies.  They estimate that she'd stopped growing at around 15 weeks, but we know from an emergency scan that she was still alive at 18+ weeks so she most likely passed away in the last week or two.

Has anyone else had a second trimester death like this with a good outcome for the surviving twin?  Everything I'm reading on the internet seems to be optimistic if it happens in first trimester, but not so much for later deaths.

Any stories/advice gratefully received :)

Kiwi x

Offline AggieJ

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Hey Kiwi

This thread has been really really quiet recently. There are/have been mummies of lone twins on FF but not sure if they stop using the site or avoid the Twins board? However, the Sands forum has a section for multiple losses (including loss of a twin) and I've definitely read about other Mummies in your situation who've delivered their surviving twin safely. Might be worth a look...  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ You're all in my thoughts...

Much love Kate xxx

Offline Hugs

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Hello,

Aggiej, Thanks for pm i will reply.

Well here i am with my bit.................


Kiwi - Huge hugs to you and your DH. I had my routine scan at 20+1 and there we saw our two perfect bigger that average babies bouncing about and we even heard there heartbeats for the 1st time  :'( then to cut a long story short i woke up the next day to find i was bleeding and had to go to the maternity where they scanned my but both my babies were still OK. Sadly my waters broke at 20+2 and it was my wee boy Daniels sack but i was told he could still survive with out his waters cause he would make then again but when i was taken for a scan at 20+3 but my beautiful wee man had gone but Aimee's heartbeat was there, a awful, awful feeling that i will never forget. I then had to deliver my baby boy  that afternoon as they told me he could not stay inside. My DH and mum were told i would most likely loose Aimee too but Aimee stay with me till 24 week when i had to deliver he cause i was bleeding.

I think i may have went on a bit.

Aimee is sitting in her highchair next to me right now after having me up all night cause she is teething
 ^bigbad^ but she is just perfect. I look at her and wonder would her big brother looked like her but i take comfort in knowing that he lives inside her cause there is no bond closer that twins. I talk to Daniel and tell Aimee about him all the time. The pain will never go away and even to this second it hurts like hell but i also know how lucky i am to have Aimee. We never got any reason as to why i lost Daniel and thats also hard to deal with cause i often wonder if it was something i done.

I remember the 25 day between Daniel and Aimee's births was just so very hard but my wee princess survived against all odds and we were even offered a termination after i delivered Daniel cause they never thought she would have made it.

Just remember your wee princess will be watching her brother and I'm sure all will be just fine.

I'm sure Daniel will welcome her into the specail heaven that our babies are.

If you need anything just pm me.

All my love
Dense+Aimee

Offline dreamer100

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Hi Ladies

Have just come across this thread, so do you have room for one more  :)

I am thinking about councilsing but what happens ? Does it help with dealing with your issues of everyday without them.

Sorry !!! just not sure where to start and if it would really help, I think the hardest thing is asking for help, when you are trying to carry on been strong but am running out of strength and should be so lucky to have sophie.

Michelle




Offline Hugs

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Hello,

dreamer and budgie - Cant excatly same welcome to the thread so will just say hello (im sure you know what i mean)

Budgie my baby was called Daniel too  :'(  His sister spent 185 days in ITU so like you i never got to meet any other mums that could understand.

Dreamer - How is your little lady doing ?

Offline Hugs

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Budgie,

Aimee is now 16 months but 12 corrected. She is doing amazing she really is and is such a pleasure. She give me reason to wake everyday. She has started pulling my top to get up onto her feet  :). She is still on oxygen 24/7 but today she was going to be taken off it for a bit but i cancelled the appointment as she has a high temp which i think it down to teething cause she is fine every other way.

I have met a couple of mums on here that had very prem babies so i will tell them to join this thread too but i know one of the mums just got her wee man home yesterday she also lost the other twin boy.

Do you take your LO to nursery ? I don't take Aimee into any contact with other kids as the hospital advise not to and plus i still way to paranoid and when anyone comes in my hose they are made to gel there hands  ;D

Oh Aimee is moaning. back later

Denise
xx

Offline kiwitk

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Hi all,

Whilst my heart breaks that there are so many other Mothers of solo twins out there it's also comforting to know that I may still come out of this with one of them surviving.....  it's been so hard to lose our little one in the womb I cannot even begin to imagine the pain of loss when you've actually had a chance to meet your baby, you must be so strong to pull through that....

Today we were up at the hospital again as I was leaking a lot of fluid yesterday and today and was terrified that one or the others waters had broken and knew that if that was the case at just on 22 weeks it would be all over...  They've done a lot of tests and looked at the neck of the womb which was still tightly closed which is great news, we get the test results on friday but they've initially thought that it's probably just increased normal pregnancy vagnl secretions, so hopefully they are right.

Nice part was that they did a scan whilst we were there and we got to see our little boy moving around and a really good heartbeat.  They've said he has a lot of fluid around him which is also good news.  I asked to see the little girl too as we didnt get to see her when they broke the news last week.  She looked so tiny and peaceful, just lying there quietly, really glad I got to see her.

I've been thinking about counselling too as I cant seem to get through a day without tears, phoned TAMBA last night as they have a bereavement service where you can speak to other Mum's who've been through the sme thing, or just read their stories if you dont want to speak to someone.  The lady on the phone was really lovely and helpful and said to phone back whenever I'm ready.  As I cant talk (or type) about it without going into hiccuppy sobs I sai I'd probably wait a few weeks to allow myself a bit of control....

Daniel is one of 3 names we are trying to decide on for our surviving twin too :)

I think it's natural to be a little overprotective of your babies - if our little guy fights through and makes it the relatives will be lucky to get anywhere near him for a few months much less have to wash their hands!  I'll be a nightmare overprotective mother, but I think they are just such a miracle at that stage your protective instinct would just go into overdrive....

Have you had thoughts on how or when you would tell the other that they were one of a twin?  I'm wondering as our twin will never have been officially born (death before 24 weeks if not delivered doesnt count apparently), should I even tell him?  Not sure what to do in that situation.  At birthdays do you celebrate both or would that make the day less special for the survivor and something to take the shine off the day - so many questions.....

Enjoy your gorgeous babies xx

 

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