I wanted to share my story with anyone who would like to listen... I first signed up to this site when I was diagnosed with POF in late October. I was so upset and knowing that I was not alone made me feel just a bit better. Especially reading all of the mirracle stories...
I am 35 years old and my partner and I decided that it was time for us to start trying for a baby. I came off the pill in September and my body went into a complete overdrive. I suffered terrible hot flushes, night sweats and sleeplessness. Since I was traveling home (abroad) I decided to see a doctor. My doctor told me that I was not going to get my period that month and prescribed duphaston to help me get it back. She also took some blood tests. When the tests came back she said that my hormones were all over the place (fsh 40) and that was entering peri-menopause. I had no idea at the time what fsh meant but knew that it was not good news. I needed to travel back to the UK and decided to go for a private appointment with a doctor in London. I went to see a private GP (I was confused and desperate so did not want to wait) whom I asked for the recommendation. The GP did fsh test again (about a week later), promissed to call me to explain what it meant, charged £250 and that was last I heard from him. He did however referred me to his friend (by a text message) who I saw a few days later.
Then my nightmare started... I went to see the doctor at his expensive office in Harley Street. He looked at me blood work and said that it's a high indication that I had POF. DID NOT mention that it was done right after I came off the pill, mid - cycle and not on day 3! Anyway, more bad news followed. After my scan he said that my ovaries were very small and that there was nothing there... I almost fell backwards and really still did not quite understand the implications. I was there alone but the doc continued to tell me that it was very unlikely I was going to get pregnant naturally and that the egg donation was my only chance to have a family. He even offered to get me an egg from my own country - believe it or not! I was completely and utterly devastated and can't remember how I drove home that night. The doc ordered more tests that were hugely expensive - some genetic and chromosomal tests of the value of £500 and the AMH test. That one dreadful visit had cost me about £1000 and the genetics were apparently done to find the cause of my POF.
I was put on HRT to get rid off the side effects and asked to come back in 6 weeks. During that time I did a lot of research, did accupuncture, cut out the alcohol and ordered DHEA from the US. My fake period returned and my hot flushes stopped as well. However few weeks later came another blow... I received a letter from the doctor that although the genetics showed nothing my AMH result was 0.7 and therefore suggesting 'no meaningful ovarian reserve'. First of all I was dumbfounded that the guy I have just cried my eyes in front of and paid £1000 for the pleasure did not even bother to pick up the phone!!! It was a cold, impersonal letter stating that he would need to adjust my hormone levels (HRT) again in view of the results. I was so upset by the news but even more about the way it was brought to me. Call me naive but I thought that private doctors have more time to apply the human touch - but I was wrong... I was also wrong in thinking that that the private GP or the gyno would look out for me and at least MENTION the Lister Clinic that specializes in cases such as mine. But no, I was bounced around between pals - or at least it felt like it...
I decided not to back to my next appointment with him. I researched a bit more and found out that there are women out there who manage to get pregnant through IVF with equally bad AMH... I refused to believe that it was all over for me and what followed was a huge surprise... I stopped taking the HRT even though I still had another full month to go. I was very worried that my previous symptoms would return but decided to brave it. To my surprise none of them did! I don't think I had one hot flush, just a bit of wake-fullness but that was about it. I had no more tears to cry and decided to accept that what will be will be... Thought a bit about ED and thought that this could be an option for me to bring a child into this world. A month after I stopped the HRT I got my first natural period and it was right on time. I was so surprised because I was told that it was going to be unlikely that my periods would return. Two weeks later, I had really strong signs of ovulation and did a test which showed a surge (this was not going to happen either!) I tried to stay grounded and by then knew that there could be signs of ovulation but no egg released... Over all, I was happy because it meant that I could get a chance to see somebody at Lister. I was told that NHS would not take me on.
Another couple of weeks passed and I felt that I was coming on with my period. I had cramps, I was tearful and I was extremely tired. I complained to my mom all the time that I felt like I was ready to give birth to a cow. Unfortunately, there was no sign of my period. I thought that maybe I was a bit unrealistic to hope for a timely arrival of the AF and accepted that it was not likely to happen. NEVER in my mind a thought passed that I may be pregnant. I was told it would not happen... BUT, as another day passed I found a HPT at home and took it. I swear I did not even look at it intently. I peed and left the bathroom only to return to find PREGNANT
. I kept waiting for the NOT to appear to the left of PREGNANT but instead got 2-3 weeks... I was completely shell shocked and kept staring at it all the time, even shaking it a bit
. But the result would just stare back at me.
I am now 5 weeks pregnant and I am not sure what will happen. I very much hope that I will stick it through but I am also realistic that it's very early days yet... The most important thing for me is that I did manage to get pregnant naturally despite what the doctor had said. He had not even given me nor my body a chance to see what would happen. I had to pick up a fight to have this chance.
The reason I wanted to share this story (in such detail) is to make everyone who cared to read on to realize that doctors really do not know it all - even though they seem like they do! If I had listened to the guy I would have probably be arranging for DE and not even trying anything else. He seemed so sure that this was the only option. It also seems that one has to be cautious with the doctors in the private sector and go for the recommended ones. It's a huge business and as my NHS GP said, may at times be a money driven.
I do hope that this too long of a story
may give some hope to ladies out there. Don't give up, know your stuff and beware of money -hungry doctors!