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45+ Still trying donor eggs/OE/Surrogacy Part 1

161K views 921 replies 97 participants last post by  deblovescats 
#1 ·
#378 ·
Hi Ladies


I have spoken to a couple of people regarding the miscarriage, and when you have DE, you are totally reliant on the HRT drugs you take to support the pregnancy for the first few weeks, most people are given a general protocol which is sufficient to support any pregnancy but occasionally possibly like me, you need more careful monitoring with hormone level checks and adjustments to the drugs you take, I think this maybe what has happened in my case, particulalry as it was twins, the drug protocol maybe wasnt enough for me. :(
sadly I think I have come to the end of the road.
I have had 7 rounds of IVF/DEIVF, been pregnant 3 times which has all ended in miscarriage each time, I am physically, emotionally and financially exausted, I just dont think I can face another cycle for it all to end in tears :'(
I have had some long emotional talks with my hubby, his is very distressed as all he wants is a genetic baby of his own, but its not as important for me as I have already had 3 kids of my own.
I suppose you just have to decide how long you continue on and on, and for me I think I have reached the point where I just dont want to do it anymore. :(


We have discussed the possibilty of surrogacy, as we still have 6 good blasts in the freezer in Russia. I think if a younger , fit woman was to have them implanted there maybe hope of success, so for now I am going to take a break and investigate that route.
Lily XX :( :(

 
#379 ·
HI Lily I hear what you are saying. I am 49 and I was on HRT for the first 14 weeks I believe that the protocol and careful monitoring is a must. Your only 45 I have 2 dd but I am pg as like you my DH does not have any children of his own.

Good luck and Hope 20111 is abetter year for you and your family  ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#380 ·
Hi Lily,  I totally understand you must be exhausted.  My situation is the opposite to yours as DH already has 2 children.  I didn't want to miss out on being a mum so we did it for me and even though they genetically are not mine, they are his and I will still consider myself their mum.  We will tell them though as I believe in honesty at all costs.  I do think though we have been very lucky as it worked first time and I am older than you - though I was conceiving naturally, just my eggs were not good enough quality.  I think if it had failed 3 times then my DH would have said that's it - no more tries - we had 3 natural losses already and it is emotionally exhausting I know. 

I think surrogacy is a great idea so your DH can still have his child and you can avoid any more distress and heartache for yourself.  You have nothing to prove as you are already a mum.

Lots of luck for 2011

Love Jules xxx
 
#381 ·
Lily,

Hormonal support is exactly the same for twins as for a singleton.  I don't know what your hormone protocol was or your medication protocol but it may be that you need to start meds. sooner in your cycle.  Did you have adequate progesterone?  This is another important issue and it is a good idea to measure p4 at same time as beta?  However, levels of p4 required for a twin pg are the same as for a singleton.  One of the issues with going abroad is how hard it is to be monitored, especially if you are high risk and this is where it is useful to be under the care of a UK doctor/clinic in tandem with one abroad.

As I mentioned before, it may have been a number of issues with you or DH sadly for which you may have required clexane or other support medications.  Sadly, you did not continue with the clexane.  There are other tests you could carry out to find out potential causes for m/c, but I totally understand that you feel like you can't go on, especially so near to your recent loss.

It may be easier however, to continue with DE after you have taken the time for necessary testing as surrogacy is an extremely expensive and difficult route to take as opposed to DE once you have addressed any outstanding issues.  The good news is that you do get pg with DE so it may be a question of the right tests coupled with effective medication.  I doubt very much if the hormone protocol had anything to do with this (unless you do not absorb progesterone adequately? - were you using Gestone?).

I am very, very sorry that you have had to go through this and hope you will find success one day whatever route you choose.

Daisy
x

 
#383 ·
oh lily, i am so sorry
 
#384 ·
sorry to hear that rosie - best of luck for this round  ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^pray^
 
#385 ·
So sorry to hear about your loss Lily. It is always hard.


Totally understand. Sorry for Dh.


At least you have 3 children and have the experience of being a mother.


Take your time to get through this.
 
#386 ·
Hello,
I'm new to this sight.  I'm also over 45yrs and looking to use DE (with partners sperm).  I would love to join this thread.  Its been a long lonely road the past 6 doing IVF using my own eggs.I wish I had known about this sight before. and  had turned to DE, but I needed to get my head around it.  Now we are exploring clinics in Barcelona (Eugin) and Reprofit in Brno.  Feel a bit confused, as we live in Australia and will have to make the big trip, so many things to consider, its a bit scarey. Am on holiday in Feb 2011 and will probably visit Europe, trying to get appointment at moment. Anyone going to Eugin in Feb?
Eliza123
 
#387 ·
Hi Elza,

Welcome to our world. You,re on track, feel free to ask questions and in that way, you can actually learn from others experiences.
For me, i think Eugin is a bit crowded, considering your departure point, we have someone from Australia here too n am sure she will advice u better when she reads your mail. CZ and Greece is popular in this tread and good results are comming in. Take your time to evaluate, and the choice is yours, Goodluck
 
#388 ·
Hi Eliza,
I am also from Australia and going for DE at Serum in Athens, Greece in February. I am using my IVF specialist here to organize the drugs I've had to take beforehand in consultation with Serum through Ruth who you will find on this forum. If you go to the Greece section you will find a lot of women raving how great Serum is.

 
#389 ·
Rosie - sorry to hear your news.  Good luck with your next cycle.

Eliza - I can highly recommend Gennet Clinic in Prague for their professionalism and also ease of access not to mention great value for money!  I am biased as we were successful there on our first attempt as you can see (below).  Best of luck wherever you decide to go.

Jules xxx
 
#390 ·
Hi Everyone


Thanks for the support


I  have now had 7 cycles of IVF, 2 with own eggs and 5 with Donor eggs, I have had 2 pregnancies both Miscarried at 6 weeks, and just before we started  IVF a  natural missed miscarriage at 8 weeks, so Im getting a bit exasperated!
I was 40 when we started the "trying for a baby" journey I'm now 45.
If it was up to me Id probably stop as Im lucky to be a mother to 3 grown up kids.
But I so hate to fail, so part of me wants to carry on just to find out what the hell is going on and why cant I now have a baby when I could before??!!
Stopping isnt an option for my DH, he just wants a baby of his own, so I think its surrogacy for us now.
Im also having tests to find out whats going on, we go back for the results 2nd Feb.
The money we have spend it kind of crazy....you kind of think Golly should we give up now? and lose all that money and still have no baby?, or just keep going.?
I  may have already found a surrogate that we at meeting up with on 24th Jan, she's a lovely young woman, and fingers crossed she may go ahead if it all goes well,.
I have had an idea that may work out!!
What do you think to this plan ladies!!?
I am going to await the outcome on all the tests on me and hubby to check all is ok. If all comes back ok, I am going to go back to Russia for one last
try...with the surrogate!
So if it doesnt work out with me, hopefully it will with her.!
keeping fingers crossed this plan may work!!


Lily X









 
#391 ·
Lily,

What will you do if you need clexane?  It seems to me that could be a potentially important part of the jigsaw for you?  I really think you should investigate further with a specialist who can advise you on either strictly monitored anti coag or an alternative to clexane, e.g. trental or fragmin.  I don't believe you actually confirmed whether your reaction was to the clexane and whether anything could be done about this if it was?

I agree that you really should get some basic recurrent miscarriage testing for you and DH asap.

Daisy
x
 
#392 ·
Welcome Eliza I am almost 50 and pg. I also from Australia I went through a clnic in Greece in conjuction with a team of specialists in Sydney that work togther is you need info pm me.

Hi everyone else Rosie hope you are doing ok.
I am off to see the midwives in 30 mins and all is going well, another scan on the 3rd of feb to check the size and come up with the birthing plan. Bub is 1.5kgs so they believe that it will be at least 4kgs ( 9lbs) when born my last was 5kgs.

so good luck everyone
 
#393 ·
Hello again Everyone,
Thank you for your kind comments and advice.

Malabar Girl, great to hear from you.  I'm wondering we may be neighbours, do you live in Malabar?  How very exciting you have a bub on the way.  Such lovely stories give me so much hope.  I think you mentioned you went to Greece, did you go to Serum?  Do you remember the approx cost? Also, which IVF centre are you using in OZ.  Would really appreciate some info.

Hi Oceana,
Thank you also for your info, I think you are using Serum/Greece, Where abouts is it?  is it in Athens? Good luck with your cycle,sending you lots of baby dust.
 
#394 ·
Hi,
Yes it is in Athens have sent you a message with details.
 
#395 ·
Hiya Daisy


Clexane???....eeekkkk!! never again.....!!!!


I have had 2 blood tests done, one checking antilipids?? and the other anti thyroxine???
DH also had Karyotype test done, we get results back in 3 weeks.
Doc also said I should lose weight if I was serious about trying again ( BMI over 35) ( but it always has been and I have got 3 kids Doc knows this!)( bloody hell!!)
He said after we have results of bloods, I should perhaps consider hysterscopy ( general)
so yes,  agreed, it is best to see whats been happening to make me have 3 M/C, doc said to discount the first M/C, as it was with my own eggs and was conceived naturally and was a missed M/C and is very common at my age with own eggs.
He said the other two M/C could have  just been bad luck as the sample size wasnt big enough to draw conclusions, but neverthless was wise to exclude the basic issues that may be causing probs, hence the tests.
so we shall see.


I have no idea if my reaction was actually clexane or something else ( or a combination of all the drugs) its very difficult to know. All I know is the combination of that protocol was not good for me.... I am still only just getting over it, Im still having post traumatic stress and flashbacks it was so horrid.
I was taking, Estradot, Progynova, crinone, clexane, aspirin, prednisolone, Vit E, folic, iron.


Previously I have taken, estradot, progynova, crinone, aspirin, vit E, folic, iron- this protocol I have taken many times, so it was obviously the Clexane or the prednisolone or a combination of them both??? it would be difficult to know now.
I'm inclined to think its clexane as I take prednisolone for asthma alot, and Ive never had any problems with it, so Thats why I have concluded it must be Clexane, its a process of elimination from what Ive previousy taken.


Anyway all will become clear!


Lily X











 
#396 ·
Hi Lilly
I understand what trauma is in this frequent occurancies as i have gone thru this too. I have just had a hysterocopy to eliminate doubts and now about to eliminate prediselone for the next transfer. Why not try hysterescopy? I believe we can still achieve a life pregnancy since we,ve had BFP,s, it,s possible that there must be a little error somewhere, somehow, but we must try to identify it.
I,ve also done antilipids and anti thyroxine analysis and they all come back clean, so my next cycle will be focus on the drug regime changes.

Well, lets keep our fingers cross for the next transfer ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^
Barbara1
 
#397 ·
#398 ·
HI Lily I did the test and got a 33% chance oh well proves that the numbers are not always right :)

I had a scan a couple of days ago and was told I have a lot of amnotic fluid and the bub has gone from 1.4kgs - 3 kgs in 4 weeks. So they say it will be another big one for me. But with the high level of fluid I could go into labour any time and the bub is in breach. So at least it is the size ofan adverage full term bub already. But want it to stay put for a few more weeks yet.

Hope all is well with everyone else
 
#401 ·
Hi

I just used the Calculator and used the info for when i did my IVF and it gave my 28%, which is actually 23% more than the docs gave me and they were all way out  ;)  just goes to show they don't know everything

Shelley xx
 
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