Thank you for your support. It means a great deal.
My precius little girl,
It's Christmas day. Our first Christmas without you, and it is every bit as hard as I imagined. Yesterday Daddy crashed the car. Thankfully he's not hurt but our car is a write off. The first thing I worried about after I knew that Daddy was fine was that we couldn't get to your grave on Christmas day. Mummy was in absolute pieces all day yesterday. I wanted to make a wreath for you, with holly and small white roses threaded through it, I was going to hang tiny glass baubles on it. I wanted to give you something special on Christmas day so that you knew how much we are missing you. But without the car I couldn't get what I needed for the wreath. I was so upset, I felt I'd let you down so badly. I'm so sorry.
Grandad is going to take us up to your grave soon, so at least we can visit you on Christmas day. We were planning on coming first thing but Grandad wanted to watch your cousin opening her presents. When he said he wanted to go to church first, then have coffee and do some present opening I was hurt. Needlessly so, of course grandad and grandma want to have Christmas with my neice and enjoy all the happy squeeling fun, but inside I was screaming, I wanted you to be opening your presents. or at least have us open them for you. I wanted hi to think about you and what you were missing and remember that he has another grandaughter. Terribly ungrateful of me.
Christmas should have been bright, loving and happy. Not this bleak dark day. I haven't even bothered with decorations this year. It all seems so pointless and empty without you.
We miss you so much darling. Every day seems like an awful chore at the minute.
Mummy and Daddy
XXX
