IVF here we come!

[Bubblicious]

Aqua, do you know what protocol you will be on, hun?  If you are on long, you will not start drugs until seven days before ovulation [around CD21 of this cycle]; on short protocol, I think you start about day three so don't panic.  Either way, they will normally give you a blood test on day one or two to check that your hormone levels are at the optimal level.

I'm like you though, I need to know the plan, what will happen next etc.  However, I found that it was far less stressful to go with the flow [which goes completely against my nature].  And you're not the only one who felt at odds/negative pre-treatment but there is no real reason to think it won't work, hun.  Try to stay  .  and by all means, rant and rave away!

Lilyisabel, wishing you loads and loads of luck  .

Jack, Darls, Jem, Tiggeroo, Ninjabelle and anyone I've missed, hope you are all keeping well. 

[aquapinkdog]

Aqua, do you know what protocol you will be on, hun?  If you are on long, you will not start drugs until seven days before ovulation [around CD21 of this cycle]; on short protocol, I think you start about day three so don't panic.  Either way, they will normally give you a blood test on day one or two to check that your hormone levels are at the optimal level.

I'm like you though, I need to know the plan, what will happen next etc.  However, I found that it was far less stressful to go with the flow [which goes completely against my nature].  And you're not the only one who felt at odds/negative pre-treatment but there is no real reason to think it won't work, hun.  Try to stay  .  and by all means, rant and rave away!

Lilyisabel, wishing you loads and loads of luck  .

Jack, Darls, Jem, Tiggeroo, Ninjabelle and anyone I've missed, hope you are all keeping well.

Hi Girls,
Bubbs thanks for responding to my rant.

I was feeling a lot better for a couple of days, until I realised that I should have called the clinic to say my period had started in December. I had misunderstood an email the nurse had sent, and as I didn't want to be on drugs over xmas I didn't tell them, not realising I would start drugs on day 21, not day 1, so now I've wasted another month. I am so angry with myself. AF is due on Friday, so I have to call then, and make an appt see them to go through all the details.

Jem/Bubbs, hope your pregnancies are going well, and that first trimester tiredness has gone (assuming you had it?)

Lily, good luck for starting the drugs this week honeybun,

Jack,Darls, Tiggeroo and anyone else I've missed, hope you are all well.

Fx
 

[Darls3000]

Hi all
Aqua don't feel too bad. It sounds like the clinic really should have been more explicit about what you needed to do when. I sometimes think that because they do it all the time, I make too many presumptions about what we need to do when and sometimes they can leave too much to inference. Good luck next month.

I start on my drugs for ICSI next week and I am absolutely terrified because it feels like this may be the last time we try after the failed IVF last month but then my DH and I have not discussed this because we both promised to be super confident and optimistic so we act as though it doesn't need to be considered. That is probably the right thing to do. It's funny how some days, it feels so far away from ever happening and that is where I am now. It's almost as though I have accepted it is not something I will be blessed with and that is awful but at least I have one DD who is healthy, happy, smart and full of love. I just wanted to get a chance to be a mum for the second time 

Anyway, I am not actually feeling down even though my words above sound like it, I was just being factual about the thoughts in my head.

How is everyone else doing?  Would love to hear a quick update from everyone but I know what it's like, time just flies and suddenly two weeks have passed. Take care all. It's about time we had another BFP around here. Xx

[Jack5259]

Hi All,

Hope you are all ok.  Darls I wish you lots of luck and  for the ICSI.  Im terrified of our IVF and so terrified it will fail.

Am having a bit of a struggle today.  Out where we live, (its very remote) there is apparently a get together for two of the girls in the village who are expecting any time now, with all the other mums, I am of course not invited, I dont know them that well anyway but it still rubs in pretty bad, to be honest, some of the girls and how they have been around me and made me feel when I have been around for their get togethers, even if our treatment works and we finally became parents, I still would not want to be friends with some of them, becasue of being made to feel so excluded and like a spare part.
My close friend today told me she was expecting again, she onnly had her little girl back in March after a very long time of trying to conceive, we went through it together, but she has known about this since before Christmas but could not bring herself to tell me., bless her.  I was genuinely pleased for her but wanted to cry at the same time too if that makes sense???Probably not.

Anyway, hope everyone ok, by the way Aqua, your rant sounds well deserved, its all a really stressful time, I hope it works out for you.

[lilyisabel]

Hi everyone

Jack - those girls don't sound very nice at all in your village, if you don't know them that well I think you are best off out of it though I can imagine it still hurts as it seems that they are making it obvious that you are being excluded. It makes perfect sense that you are very happy for your friend but sad for you - why couldn't the next baby have been yours feeling... I know it well

Darls -  and super confidence for this cycle. Second time lucky!

Aqua -  hoping the month goes quickly for you, I can't believe how quickly January is going so it'll be time to start before you know it.

Jem - bubbs - how are the bumps coming along? Are they visible yet?

Hello to everyone else reading this.

Afm - it was the first jab of this cycle today amazing how normal it felt. Back to the same time and everything doesn't quite feel real. I'm having a really busy week at work with two major presentations so it's really keeping my mind off ivf. I hate giving presentations but I'm trying not to stress too much and the benefit of not constantly thinking of ivf is good. I've also got this pretty cross stitch kit with the alphabet on it that will match dd's room I'm going to do this to keep me occupied and my mind from stewing on things this cycle

[lilyisabel]

Had to post the last one as I can't get back to the bottom of the message if I go further up on the iPad.

Take care and hope you all have lovely rest of weeks
L x

[Jack5259]

Hi all

Sorry for my depressing rant yesterday, a couple of the girls are lovely, but some of them,  not so sure.  I overheard this event was going ahead, oh well, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger in my book!

Hope everyone ok today, and having a  day.  I have nearly two weeks off work now so am chilling out and eating chocolate mini eggs!!

[NinjaBelle]

Hi Girls,

I know I've been AWOL for a loooong time but I just wanted to say "hi" and to wish everyone the best.
Not sure what our plans are at present and taking a breather.

Take care girls and keep up the PMA xxx

[Darls3000]

Hi ladies

Jack, try and rise above stuff like that from those other women. They shouldn't be excluding you but if they are, it doesn't sound like the kind of ladies you want to keep company with anyway. And besides, they may genuinely think you may not be interested in in but that is still no excuse for thoughtlessness. Chill out in your two weeks instead and relax.

Lilyisabel, great news that you have started with the injections and that they don't seem to be too bad. I am  ^pray^That this is your time. All my meds arrived the other day so our fridge is stocked and we are £1600 less well off. I start on tablets on day 21 of my cycle as I am doing the Antagonist Cycle this time round but still with Menopur and gonal f like last time. I keep having mini panic attacks at night that having a second child isn't going to happen for us and I hate myself for letting those thought enter my brain but I am not getting any younger and although I feel 5 years younger than I am it doesn't matter. It's all on the biological age and I have to start thinking that perhaps it may just not be what happens for us. I am so lucky to have DD and I cherish every moment with her but I would be lying if bi didn't say I fantasise about breast feeding and holding a baby on my sling etc.  Let's see. 

Good to hear from you too ninja and hope everyone else is doing OK during this rough journey we are on. Xx

[aquapinkdog]

Hi Girls,
It's lovely to have seen most people back on here this week.

Ninja, take care of yourself.

Jack, I'm sorry to hear that those ladies in the village are leaving you out of things. Like the others have said, they are not people you need in your life, although I know things like this still hurt. Hope you enjoyed your mini eggs.

Darls  ^pray^it's your turn this month, aswell as Lily. It's about time we had some BFP's round here.

I came on yesterday, but I've decided to defer for a month. I know it's ridiculous after all the other delays because of Clomid, holiday, my misunderstanding on dates last month etc. I am desperate to get on with it, but I worked out dates a few days ago with the calendar the clinic gave me, and if it works  it would give it an almost xmas due date. I have a real thing about xmas birthdays and I have a few close friends/family who have xmas birthdays and hate it. If pg had happened naturally, then I know I would still be happy and be very very blessed, but I feel seeing as I have the choice I feel I should leave it a month. I know this sounds really shallow and please don't hate me, but it would also mean that I was due to test on my birthday, and I don't want to ruin my birthday (and future ones because it will always be tainted) if it fails.

I left a message for the clinic yesterday and am waiting for them to phone back to see if they want me to go in on Monday, or wait until day 1 next month now.

Hope everyone else is ok.
Fx