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***********, London : Part 36

674K views 6K replies 164 participants last post by  karenanna 
#1 ·
^fairydust^ Time for a new home! ^fairydust^

Although those who have been successful are always welcome on this thread, please can I ask out of respect for those still ttc that we keep discussions about pregnancy and babies here to a minimum and approach the subject with sensitivity. Please see the Site Guidelines if you would like further clarification on this.

For those who have had a BFP, please make use of the excellent Pregnancy & Parenting in London thread, where you can more freely share support, your concerns and details of your pregnancy. You might also find support if you explore all the Pregnancy & Parenting boards has to offer. :)

If you are interested in meeting up with others, you can find details of the latest support meetings on the Social Gatherings For Support thread... or feel free to arrange your own!

Finally, the Useful Resources thread has some great links to parts of FF which might be helpful.

Happy chatting. :)

Caz ~x
 
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#5,327 ·
Hi everyone,

Thornhill - Glad egg collection went well and your no suffering with pain, good luck on the fertilisation call. You made me giggle with the Grays inn name for your baby. I did experience a large increase in weight gain upto egg collection, which stayed the same until 2 days after egg collection. I haven't changed my diet but my weight has been dropping ever since. Not sure I should be losing weight right now? keep us posted on your progress.


Apples -How are you feeling now? has the light headedness subsided? Thanks for your support on the 2ww agony.

Muddy paws - Excellent news on the 5 embryos dividing and being top quality. I don't understand why they would freeze them now? why not go to blastocyst then freeze?

Diamonds -

Joycep & KEH- How are you finding the 2ww? I'm climbing the walls, thank goodness I'm back to work tomorrow to take my mind of things. Are either of you going to test early?

Londonkitty - I did have a giggle at your post, and your mother in law checking out you boobs. Good news on your Beta. I know what you mean about the waiting for the scan. This whole process is just a waiting game. Need to have nerves of steel.

Briss- How are you feeling today? any news on second opinion?

Bluefrog - How are you feeling today? Less sick hopefully. Have you heard from the clinic yet?

Hello Amanda, Panni, happybabycoming AB & Janilott any update?

AFM day 8 of 2ww and now climbing the walls, looking forward to going to work tomorrow to have something to focus on. Now I'm feeling better physically, I'm mentally suffering, very emotional and constantly worrying it hasn't worked as I have no symptoms. i.e implantation pains and sore boobs. Should I be experiencing these things now? I remember London kitty talking about period pains?
 
#5,328 ·
Hey everyone, bad news I am afraid. They called to say the egg fertilised, but it was abnormal. 3 sets of chromosomes instead of 2. The embryo was not suitable for freezing, so they will discard it. Either the egg allowed 2 sperm in, so it was not a viable egg to begin with, or the egg itself had 2 sets of chromosomes to begin with. Really bummed out.

Am trying to get an appointment with Dr O to see what he recommends. I am not sure where to just try ourselves or to go for another natural IVF cycle. I can't go for the stimulated IVF as I am due to relocate to Singapore in the next 2 months, so can't really start something in the UK.
 
#5,329 ·
So sorry to hear that Thornhill  ^hugme^
I guess you will have to see what Dr O suggests. Have you looked into ivf in Singapore? Is there anyway you can delay your relocation a bit to fit a cycle in before you go?. Xx
 
#5,330 ·
Thornhill,
I'm sorry about your news. If you're relocating, maybe better to do a fresh start? Just make sure you get all your copies from CRGH. They take their time, and you need to complete a form and pay a fee. I hope the new skies in Singapore will give you your baby. My advice to you is, try not to rush.

Sumpy, I know what you mean. The 2nd week of 2ww is the worst. Don't worry if you don't have symptoms. Everyone is different. I think you can test in 4 days if you don't want to wait the full 2ww

Hi to everyone else.

Pani x

 
#5,331 ·
Thanks Pani and Muddy.

Can't see Dr O until the 1st October and my period should start on the 4th October. I need to discuss with DH on the next steps, but I am thinking we might do one of 2 things -

Option 1 - Donor Egg abroad - maybe Spain? Does anyone have any experience? I am seriously wondering if at 40 and a low AMH would mean that I simply do not have the right quality eggs. I guess I will speak to Dr O and see what he thinks. DH is not keen on this option so we would need to really talk this through.

Option 2 - given I have a better idea of when I could ovulate, we could just get ziggy with it at the right time and hope for the best.

Option 3 - go for a another set of natural IVF.

Muddy,
Singapore has very good IVF options and it might be a better option to wait and try to get many eggs with a view to get some fertilising properly. Natural IVF just gives you one chance and one chance only. There is no cost difference.

Pani, as I am typing this and reading your message below, I think I am coming close to your point of view. Take it easy, have fun for the next 2 months, and then start afresh in Singapore. The more I read the options I listed above, the more I think I am being ridiculous and trying to overcome my disappointment by creating a 3 optioned action plan! Will remember to ask Dr O about the paperwork.

I guess it back to work for me!



 
#5,332 ·
Thornhill - if you have found good ivf options in Singapore (and I imagine there would be lots there!) then if it were me I would wait and then try a stimmed cycle there. I would try that before DE just so you know you've tried everything with your own eggs first... Also that means you get to chill out for a few months first and prepare yourself :)
Good luck with whatever you decide xx
 
#5,333 ·
Also Thornhill are you taking DHEA and COQ10 for your low AmH / egg quality? Xx
 
#5,334 ·
ThornHill, sorry about the news  ^hugme^

I second Muddy and Pani's point of view, I think you should relax, and do a fresh cycle when you get there.

Wishing you all the best.

xx Onyx
 
#5,335 ·
Thornhill – i’m really sorry to hear that. I think that’s the big thing with natural ivf, you just have that one chance but so very disappointing so i’m very sorry.

Sumpy – last week i was climbing the walls too. I felt incredibly down in the dumps after the no frostie call and I keep having strong visualisations that the 2 embryos they put back are faulty. It’s difficult to believe that after 28 embryos and about 70 natural cycles, that we would finally get a good one. I’ve got no symptoms and of course I compare it to my last 2 rounds. Both rounds i felt implantation pains within 48 hours of ET and I’ve not had this at all this time. The first round which properly worked, I went completely off tea and I had period pains a day before OTD which was 15dpo with the ARGC? The CRGH seem to want us to test around 20dpo which feels quite late. I’m going to test at 17dpo so on Sunday because from experience I’ve never got a positive before that and will want to come off drugs asap. Anyway, i’m sure every pregnancy is different and if other people get symptoms, doesn’t necessarily mean you will get those but hopefully work tomorrow will distract you. I was positively useless at work last week. And I’m afraid I always urge on the side of pessimism but with some hope but no expectation. I just feel I need to self protect. I know from experience , positive thinking can’t make you pregnant but it does help the 2ww a little bit. I often spend the 2ww plotting my next move if it doesn’t work and I have been considering adoption quite a bit this time round.

And i’m so pleased to hear that a lot of ladies have got the greasy hair issue. Must be the drugs. Never seen anything like it. I  actually thought I had left a load of shampoo in!! Yuk.

Hello to everyone else.
 
#5,336 ·
Thanks ladies for all your thoughts.  It has been a very difficult and emotional few days.  Our baby did in fact have Downs and we opted for a termination.  I wanted to give an answer on this because several people have asked how I got on.  I do regret bring up the whole 12 week results thing on this forum however, as it is a difficult and controversial topic to raise when some of you are so desperate to have a child, perhaps even a severely disabled one.  What I would say is that being in these shoes is very different from contemplating what you would do if you were in those shoes.  Also it made me realise the very real added risks of having children in your 40s, and the benefits of not telling friends/family until you are through the 12 week tests.  It is all about the lottery of genetics and so I think we will try again naturally.  We don't plan any more fertility treatment so have dismantled my account in order to come off this forum.  I wish us all luck and baby dust. x
 
#5,337 ·
Greenbar, I am so sorry to hear your news and your loss. What a terrible time you have had and a very difficult decision. There is absolutely no way I would judge anybody's decision on this. It is just so personal and I can't begin to imagine how hard all this will have been. I am wishing you lots of strength for the next few months.
 
#5,338 ·
Greenbar I'm so sorry to hear you've gone through that. You must feel emotionally exhausted  ^hugme^ Please don't feel bad about posting on here, as Joycep says it's a personal decision and one you can only really judge when you are faced with making it for real. Good luck with trying naturally, I hope it works for you xx

 
#5,339 ·
Greenbar, I am absolutely heart-broken for you. You have been placed in an impossible position. How unfair life is sometimes. Just wanted to tell you I understand your decision however desperate I am to have a child

Thornhill, I am very very sorry. unfortunately natural IVf has lower success rates. did you have IVf or ICSI? I thought they advised ICSi cos of higher fertilisation rate. I know it's terribly disappointing. we do not produce a good quality egg every month so I've been thinking that if (I should probably say when) I get through this nightmare we will just carry on with natural IVF every month until we are lucky. mainly because with just one egg there are so many things that can stand on your way so you just have to keep on going. I know ladies who went through natural IVF month after month with BFNs, no egg retrieved, abnormal fertilisation, no fertilisation, and then finally after several months they got lucky. I so hope you will get lucky too and very soon. btw, Singapore sounds amazing!

Londonkitty, fantastic beta!! I am so thrilled for you!

sumpy, I always thought that not having symptoms is the best symptom. I observed over the years that ladies with no symptoms get BFPs more often. wishing you strength to get through TWW and a well deserved BFP at the end.

muddy paws, have you asked if you can go ahead with ET this month? if things go well maybe that's the best option?

joycep, best of luck with testing, I so hope for good news for you. I understand the need to self protect but ZW advises to do the opposite and feel pregnant and positive, somehow from her experience this is the best approach. the downside of course if things do not work out you feel completely broken. but I so hope you will get your proper BFP when you test.

afm, am seeing the doctor tomorrow evening so will report later in the week. I have to be honest I am really scared if he may say something quite different from RMU. am begging my DH to come with me for moral support. My ovaries are still very sore and I started having shooting pains on my right side so not very happy at the moment.
 
#5,340 ·
I'm at work but just wanted to quickly give Greenbar the biggest internet hug. The decision was yours and yours alone to make and we all support you for making that decision. Judgement does not even come into it. I wish you the very best of luck for whatever your future holds, both in regards to children but also in relation to everything else in your life that makes you a wonderful human being. I hope you can take time to process the last few weeks, grieve the loss of your child, and draw comfort that at this very difficult time, your DH was by your side, facing this together.

Thank you for sharing-I for one have learned a lot from reading your story.

Xx
 
#5,341 ·
Just to say that all 5 of our embryos have been frozen so I'm really pleased! All between 6 and 9 cells on day 3  so that's good!
I don't think going ahead with ET this month would've been an option. Anyway my consultant Dr Serhal is away this week so I couldn't have asked his opinion anyway!
I've booked in to see Dr Ozturk instead next week so I can get a debrief on our first cycle. He did my egg collection and seemed really nice. Anyone else seeing Dr O? I might try to change to see him from now on as I always find it difficult to ask Dr Serhal questions - he is so intense!!

Briss - thinking of you and your sore ovaries. I hope your doctor can offer you some treatment to help.

Xx
 
#5,342 ·
I'm on a bus so reply properly later. Greenbar I just wanted to second the notion that we are here for support not to judge. I cannot even imagine how distressed and emotional you must be feeling. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. I just want to pass on support xx. Very sorry to hear your news.

Muddy- we are with Dr O he's totally lovely xx
 
#5,343 ·
Greenbar - Thank you for sharing with us at this difficult time. I'm so sorry to hear your news, life definitely cruel sometimes. Like everyone has said no one has the right to judge other people, and unless they have been in that position they could not possibly know what they would do. It was you and your DH decision to make and you are a strong person and I admire you for making that decision. I wish you lots of strength for the difficult times ahead. Try not to look back now, remember why you made the decision. Be kind to yourself and take care . Good luck in trying naturally.  ^hugme^ ^hugme^

Thornhill - Sorry to hear your news. You have asked for advice and if it was me I would take the two months of to relax and try to enjoy life and start a fresh in Singapore. The decision is yours at the end of the day. Keep us posted.

Joycep - Thanks for your words of comfort, I feel you need some too, I spoke to the Dr today as I want to come of the nasty ohss tablets (not that he allowed me). I told them I do not have any symptoms of pregnancy i.e pains etc and was told this is a good thing. So hope this gives you some positivity. I think you summed it up when you said "you urge on the side of pessimism but with some hope but no expectation. I just feel I need to self protect" that's exactly how I am. On my last cycle I was so positive and got BFN it took me 18 months to feel physically and mentally ready to go through the process again. So this time I'm trying to prepare for the worst but keep some optimism. Also as we are finding when we get the BFP there is still so far to go with lots of problems along the way. Keeping fingers crossed for us both.

Briss - Thank you for your support, lets hope I add to those women with no symptoms and BFP. Sorry to hear about the shooting pains, are you able to take anything for it? I hope the apt goes well tomorrow and DH is able to go with you as you probably need someone else there to help you take it all in.

Pani - Thank you also for your words of support, your right everyone is different. Its a shame there are standard tell tale signs. You mentioned I could test in 4 days. I'm really torn as what to do as part of me thinks its better not knowing and would ruin my weekend if bad news but the other part just wants to get on with things. CRGH does seem to suggest testing later than other clinics.

Hi to everyone else.

 
#5,344 ·
Muddypaws - Our posts clashed. Congratulations on your 5 embryos that a great number. Did you ask why they froze them on day 3 and not let them go to Blastocysts as you had so many?

So what's your next step now?

I have not seen Dr O but I have spoken to him on the phone and he was lovely and very reassuring. I'm with DR A and he is knowledgeable but very abrupt not much bedside manner as my DH says.

 
#5,345 ·
Greenbar, I am so sorry to hear your news. If you read in my signature you can see that I also had to go thru a termination last year. My baby didn't have chance of survival at birth, but I could have chosen to carry the full 9 months. But decided to let both of part without any more suffering. I wish you strength and courage.

Muddypaws - congrats! Yes, I was with Dr S to start with as well. My DH really like him, but S was never around for me to ask him questions and never there to scan me or anything. I found Dr A very caring, knowledgable and just a doctor I trust so I decided to see him for my post-cycle catch-up. Especially since he managed my miscarriage. My DH has a hard time with him too, but who cares, I'm the one spending all my time at the clinic. Especially now that DH doesn't even have to produce**** ;D

Sumpy, yes, CRGH tests later than any other clinic i know. That's why a lot of times they only do one BETA. I tested 2 days before OTD and get results. If you test, do with first response. not the digital ones...leave those for later

pani
 
#5,346 ·
Sumpy - I didn't ask about blasto freezing.... I guess I can ask all this when I have my follow up with Dr O. From what I remember they always said day 3 for freezing but blasto freezing would've given me a better idea of where we were at I guess. I am thinking about what might be best for my next cycle now and also whether we can keep frosties frozen for a poss sibling attempt down the line...I have lots of questions to ask at my next appointment!

Pani - I haven't met Dr A but I just felt Dr S lacked bedside manner! My DH liked him too (I think he liked the no BS, direct approach!) but as you say I'm the one who actually meets with the consultant most of the time, not DH, so I'd rather see someone more approachable. Dr O just seemed much warmer and willing to let me ask questions at my EC so I think I'll prefer him...

 
#5,347 ·
Greenbar, so sorry to hear your news, it would not have been an easy decision and as the others have said, we are not here to judge  ^hugme^

Muddy congrats on the freezing, I'm with dr O and I find him really patient and caring.

Joycep and Sumpy good luck on the 2ww.

Pani, how are you?

Hi everyone else

Nothing much is going on with me, I'm on day 7 of noresthisterone. I start the spray and aspirin tomorrow. I am also at the clinic tomorrow at 2.30 for my endo biopsy.

 
#5,348 ·
Greenbar. I am so terribly sorry to hear your news. I can not imagine how difficult it must have been for you and your dh and like you said it is not until you are faced with the situation that you can truly understand how difficult it is. There are no words and life can be so cruel. I wish you all the best and I hope that things work out for you naturally.  Take care xx

Thornhill. I am so sorry about your cycle.  I know how hard it is getting the call that it didn't work. Sadly natural ivf can take a few goes. I agree that it would be worth trying again when you get to Singapore. Also your follow up with your dr will help and if they feel that Ed is the way forward they will be honest about it. My partner never wanted to discuss it but once dr saab said we need to consider it he was very open to it, asked questions and said we want to go on the register. Good luck xx

Muddypaws. Fantastic news. I think I have said this to you on an email and especially now you have responded so well. It is so worth doing the two cycles. Whilst your egg quality is so good and you are responding well it makes such sense to have as many frozen now as possible. Like you said, you may want a sibling in 2 years time and with a low amh you are never certain how you may respond to ivf in 2 years times. You will have younger eggs frozen. I think for ladies like you the package is ideal. And so pleased it worked out so well for you xx

Sumpy and Joycep. Everything crossed for you. Sumpy. Some women just don't get symptoms so wait and see  I really hope it worked for you both xx

Onyx. The best of luck tomorrow. I hope all goes well. I am following you with anticipation as you are the First Lady I have come across doing ED at Crgh xx

Briss. So sorry to hear you are still suffering. Good luck tomorrow at the doctors xx

LM. Thinking of you xxx

Hello to keh, AB, Bluefrog, LK, apples, orange, diamonds, Janeilot, pani xx

There must be about 20 of us on here now sorry if I have left anyone out xx
 
#5,349 ·
Greenbar- I'm so very, very sorry to hear of the extremely difficult and devastating time you've had; I don't think there are the words to be had. To echo everyone else, you are utmost in all our thoughts and your decision was yours and yours alone to make. There's no judging here. I can only imagine a forum like this is not where you wish to be right now but take lots and lots of care xxxx

Joycep and Sumpy: I've been slightly obsessing (you can just imagine!) over a thread on FF where women with a BFP document their 2ww symptoms. The only thing my hours of studying (genuinely I could sit an exam on that thread) has taught me is that every woman is different, some have every single symptom under the sun throughout the 2ww while others feel not a jot! I'm not sure whether to test early- will you guys? My cycle is 25-27 days long, reckon AF will arrive around Sunday so not long now, prob won't test early.

Muddypaws- Great news! A fantastic result!

Onyx forever- good luck tomorrow, hope it goes really well

Briss- all the very best tomorrow at the appointment, I do hope that your DH is able to come. Which doc are you seeing and where?

Thornhill- it sounds like there's a few options to think through but, the one thing this infertility lark has taught me, is the importance of trying to reduce any potential stress while undergoing treatment. I wonder if it'll be a tight and stressy squeeze fitting in further treatment in the next eight weeks,  As others have said, perhaps having a fun two months planning your exciting new life in Singapore and switching off from exhausting & emotional treatment will allow a refreshed new fertility start in Nov/Dec.

Pani77- you mentioned to Thirnhill how to get copies of notes. We were thinking of doing this, what's the cost and the process involved? Thank you

Hello to Londonkitty (good to hear you had AF cramps/muscle twinges before your BFP), Bluefrog, apples2014, amandalmexico and everyone else

Xxxx
 
#5,350 ·
Greenbar, i am so sorry to hear what you had to go through, there are no words really. What a difficult decision you had to make, i just reiterate what others have said: please don't feel judged or guilty or anything of the sort. You had to go through a very difficult and i'm sure painful choice, now you have to heal and move on. Take good care of yourself and your husband, and take comfort in your precious little girl. I wish all the best for the future. Love xx

Thornhill, i am so sorry to hear about your embryo, it's unfortunately one of the big dangers of natural IVF. My heart goes out to you. I agree with others that the best might be to retry tx after you've moved and settled in. I think a fresh start is great, also to take the mind of the fertlity world for a bit. In the last few years I have felt my life was very stuck in circles of treatment and failure, and often thought about just changing something else that i could control (as opposed to fertlity tx), like moving jobs or countries. I think it's great you are about to embark on a new adventure. In the meantime, take care of yourself  ^hugme^

Hello to everyone, i am really sorry, no time for any other personals ATM, will write soon xx
 
#5,351 ·
Hello,

Greenbar - We may not have met on here before but just read your post.  I'm so sorry to hear of your ordeal.  Anyone would have found that situation so hard to be in.  I agree with all the other ladies on here.  You are not judged harshly at all, you made a decision which was right for you.  I can't imagine the difficulty of making that choice.  I hope you will feel better soon and that you won't feel guilty.  All the best to you and your family.

Thornhill - Sorry to here about the outcome of your cycle.  I hope that you will have luck with your next one. 

Joycep and Sumpy - Fingers crossed for you both.  Hope you are both well. 

Oooh.  I better go.  DH is getting my trigger injection ready.  Egg collection on Wednesday.  I haven't been on here much...at all really, because of a most irritating continuous migraine.  It's sort of gone now.  Thank goodness.  Best go.
 
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