* Author Topic: try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?  (Read 642 times)

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Offline BlinkButton

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Hey all
I'm sitting here with my DS - he's only 8 weeks old and I'm completely smitten and amazed we finally got there. I'm 44 and never imagined being a first time mum at this age. But loving it. Despite fatigue, feeling much older than the other ladies in my NCT and neighbourhood wandering around with their babies. Our clinic emailed to ask if we wanted to store DH sperm for another year - so got me thinking. I asked just speculatively if the donor might consider donating again. At first she said no, not for a while, and then came back and said yes, she'd do it, but wants to do it now before she starts new job. We could use her egg and DH sperm to make an embryo/s and freeze them until I'm ready to cycle and transfer. If I'm 44 now and recovering from a c section, I guess I cant be pregnant for another year or so?? In which case do I need to wait till after Sept to cycle and I'll be 45 then, and nearing 46 before any baby is born (assuming it works of course - could take multiple attempts or simply fail). Not sure what my question is really except looking to see if anyone else had 2 DE children so late and what your experiences are - I'm due to talk this over with DH this weekend - I'm excited so tend to think I'll want to go ahead but is it going to be more than I can cope with or will it spoil my time with my first born if I'm too knackered to cope! sorry for ramble - baby brain and not a lot of sleep here with a 2m old baby! I'm hoping this doesnt offend ladies still trying for their first - its not like I have a stressful problem here, please forgive me if this post is in the wrong place or lands in the wrong spot.
xx

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    Offline Tincancat

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #1 on: 27/01/17, 20:06 »
    Hi Blinkbutton
    There are a fair few of us around who have had more than 1 at similar age to you. I was 46 when I had my twins as a solo mum.  It's surely very hard work and I'd not contemplate another with me knowing this as soon as they were born.  However your situation is different you have a partner and you are already thinking of another so I'd say go for it. Not sure which clinic you are at but with many abroad you have to have treatment before you're 50 but do check with your clinic as some countries treatment over 50 is permitted.  For inspiration why not hop on to the over 50s thread where many lovely ladies have had or are under going treatment -  you are not too old!
    TCCx

    Offline deblovescats

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #2 on: 27/01/17, 22:01 »
    Blink
    I agree with Tincancat - you are not too old!
    Congrats on the birth of your little boy.
    I was 47 when I had my first baby, a little boy who is now 2 1/2 and was from double donation as I am single. I think if you have a supportive partner, it is easier. I started thinking about no 2 when I had just had son, as didn't want him to be an only child if possible. I am also aware that it might be hard when some would be mums are still trying for no 1. I have never regretted going ahead. I wish I could have done it earlier but never met someone special. I was lucky to have 3 embryos frozen so had FET in 2016 and gave birth to a beautiful daughter in October. She's now 13 weeks old. They're the lights of my life. My little boy's giggle and baby girl's smiles light up my world.
    I was 49 when I had my new baby, so you are definitely not too old. I would say go for it - but give your body time to recover.
    Good luck
    Deb

    Offline walnut123

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #3 on: 28/01/17, 16:36 »
    Hi

    Congratulations!

    I had a C-section with my first at 47, and was pg with my second 7 months later, with a C-section when I was just 49,  Go for it!

    Offline BlinkButton

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #4 on: 29/01/17, 18:51 »
    Ladies
    thanks so much  I am really grateful for your replies - it has really helped. We have decided to go for it! I cant believe i'm lucky enough to have had 1 let alone to try for 2 so its such a fantastic opportunity. i'm also slightly surprised my dh is up for it after all its taken to get here and all the sleepless nights now DS has arrived - this journey is full of surprises good and bad. Tincan hats off to you for solo parenting twins you must be one super strong mother, thanks for the encouragement. Debs I've read a number of your posts some time back, but didnt realise you'd just had a baby girl, many congratulations to you! Walnut - ok helpful to know we literally dont fall apart when we do c sections within a year - all the advice on risk is a little one sided sometimes! Impressive to have 2 so close together, but why not?! i wont hang on too long then! i'm so excited, i cant think what my mother will make of this, dont think she is expecting to be grandma to more than 1 but I think she'll be redoubling her efforts at the gym every morning to tackle her weight and fitness - there might be 2 to dash around the park with!
    thanks again for taking the time to reply xxxx :)

    Offline deblovescats

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #5 on: 30/01/17, 16:01 »
    walnut - we mirror each other exactly then! Great! I say to older women, go for it.
    Blink - so glad you've decided to go ahead. I was worried about the risk with C-section - you get told all the bad stuff I think. I had planned to go earlier, but my cycle played up! There are 2 years and 3 months between DS and DD. I am even contemplating trying again with my frosties, but would have smaller age gap, as obviously time presses on! Was thinking of trying cycle Aug/Sept/Oct so will see....
    Good luk

    Offline Altai

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #6 on: 31/01/17, 13:55 »
    Blink - glad you decided to go ahead.  having a supportive partner makes it much easier.

    Deb and tincatkat - you are both heroes. hats off to you. Do you mind if I pm you?
    I was all set up to go for  combo ET in March with both my embryos( left from prior embryo banking) and de embryos (DD in my case as am single). But having major wobble now. I don't know how I'd  cope with 2 babies.
    I posted on singles thread too but it's been very quiet. Also, the ladies there are so  much younger.
    I am aware of time pressure hence been planning for transfer as soon as I can after cs.

    Deb - N 3 you are a brave  lady. Will keep on looking for your updates.

    Offline deblovescats

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    try for 2nd DE baby at 44/45yo soon after first born?
    « Reply #7 on: 31/01/17, 22:52 »
    Altai - congrats on DD. I've kept seeing your posts and I found your tenacity inspiring! I'm so glad you've got your LO. I hope she's bringing you as much joy as my two! It isn't easy doing it on your own, but I haven't regretted it! They keep me on the go but also keep me fit! I knew if I didn't do it on my own, it might never happen.  I love my son's giggle and his cheeky sense of humour, my daughter is so beautiful and has such a lovely smile, she smiles at me when she wakes in a morning and it brightens up my day ... DD is such a chilled out baby, she makes it easier. She sleeps well - better than DS. She wakes once for a feed then falls asleep straight away till morning .... she likes nothing better than cuddles ... Please feel free to PM me any time.
    Deb