Donor Conception and Surrogacy Support > Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT)

LGBT Legal issues inc. Lesbian couples named on birth Certificates

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NatGamble:
There is loads of useful information on the website of my new firm, Natalie Gamble Associates, at www.nataliegambleassociates.com.  There is a whole section just for lesbian couples at www.nataliegambleassociates.com/page/Lesbian-couples/4/.  Happy reading!

My new contact details are [email protected] and 0844 357 1603

pem:
Hi there,

Don't know if I am posting in the right place here, just wanted to ask you a quick question if thats ok??

Baby is due on 21st May, we used a known donor and are still regularly in touch with him and our plans are that he will be known as 'dad' and will see lo on a regular basis. However we plan to have DP apply for parental responsibility and to adopt LO as soon as this is possible, this has all been agreed and discussed with P (our donor). My question is, will having P's name on her birth certificate as her father affect us when it comes to the adoption procedure???? P is ready and willing to sign any forms etc he has to. I do really want to have P's name on her birth cert as he is her dad but i absolutely do not want to jeopardise DP's chance of adopting her.

Thanks, hope this all makes sense,

Emma

snagglepat:
Hi Emma,

I'm sure Nat will have more to say on this but this week we went in to the adoption services place in Birmingham to start the ball rolling with Rae's adoption of Ember. We asked about how having a known donor would affect things and they said that things should be pretty easy for us as our donors name isn't on the birth certificate and we have a contract with him stating he agrees to the adoption. They may not even need to speak to him about it. The social worked we spoke to indicated that things get a lot more complex in cases where the father/donor is on the birth certificate.

From the literature they sent us initially it seems that (in Birmingham at least) they try to discourage step-parent adoption if the child has a meaningful relationship with the biological father (or mother in those cases where its that way round) because once the adoption has gone through that parent has permanently and absolutely lost any legal parental role. For us, this isn't a problem as the contact we have with the donor isn't enough to be considered 'meaningful' but it sounds as though this won't be the case for you. From what I can tell, as long as your donor is OK with losing his legal status as a parent then it should be all right, but he and possibly his family if they're also going to have contact with the child will need to be interviewed and give consent to it going ahead. Bear in mind that you won't be able to start the adoption process until your child is at least 3, maybe 6 months old by which time he'll have had a chance to really develop a relationship with her and you end up back at that big trust place that we known donor users know so well.

Even though we're not having much contact with our donor we, like you, also wanted some form of documentation for Ember regarding her origins and we've worked out she'll have one piece of paper for each person involved in her creation and upbringing: the donor contract for the donor, the birth certificate for me and the adoption certificate for Rae. :)

I hope this helps. Good luck with it!

Gina. x

pem:
Thanks for this Gina, these are my worries/concerns exactly, it is a fine line we tread isn't it?? Betwen what is right for our little ones and what is right for us, I guess that is what parenting is alll abouy anyway. I think I am going to have another long chat with P and go forward from there. If i can ask you, what did you put on the birth cert??? Do you just put unknown???

Your documents arrangement is fab and I might go with that myself....

I hope your adoption process runs smoothly, glad you are all doing well, I have bl**dy heartburn again!!

Emma x

nickster:
Hi Emma

If you decided not to put your donor on the birth certificate (which I guess is the best way of ensuring that your DP shouldn't have problems adopting), he could still be given parental responsibility. So although he wouldn't be your child's 'legal parent' he'd still have a recognised role in her upbringing... and a piece of paper with his name on!

Just a thought...

Nickyx

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