* Author Topic: LGBT Legal issues inc. Lesbian couples named on birth Certificates  (Read 90124 times)

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Offline single.mummy

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Re: LGB legal issues
« Reply #80 on: 13/03/09, 22:47 »
Hi
Could I also ask your advice - what can I do to get DP recognised as our little one's "second parent"? Any help from those that have done this would be great, I don't know where to start. We are not in a CP, though have been together for 10 years almost.

Thanks

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    Offline Twinmummy

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #81 on: 14/03/09, 07:39 »
    Hey the 2 mummies,

    Myself and DP are not in a CP either and we went down the whole adoption route after getting advice from Natalie Gamble who basically said adoption would be the only thing that would give DP full and PERMANANT legal parental rights to our twin boys.  Thank goodness for natalie gamlbe as our social worker told us that a parental responsibility order would be just as secure and adoption is far to intrusive to want to bother with!

    We applied to our local council when the boys were about 8 months old and they were officially 'adopted' in december 08 about 1 month before they were 2 !!! we were told it could take sometime but to be honest we didnt have a very good time with it all when an organisation called CAFCASS got involved! (Court and family children advisory service)

    Our original social worker was really good who got the ball rolling but then mentioned a lady from CAFCASS would need to see me to ensure that i hasnt been made to have the boys adopted against my will!

    We were happy to go along with whatever needed to be one to get this finalised but wasnt very happy with CAFCASS atal. Most of their errors we think were down to lack of knowledge in same sex adoption with children who are already theirs !

    We told them countless times that the donor was anonymous and no details would be released until the boys were 18 but they insisted that they had to put a 'special' pack together for the boys incase we didnt tell them everything at that point as they had to look after the boys best intrests ! (it has always been our intensions to tell them everything) i can see their point but they totally went about it the wrong way. The hassled the LWC sperm bank to release donor information and when they didnt it resulted in a letter from CAFCASS saying they would issue court proceedings against her if she didnt do so ! we couldnt believe it.

    They also rang the boys day care nursery and asked for information on how the boys were doing development wise as the 'dad' needed to know. (our nursery knows everything and im friendly with the manager so she thought it was strange as she knows the boys havent got a dad.)

    I made a complaint at this point as it seemed she wasnt working on our case in the correct way whatsoever.

    The reason i mention all this is just so that you are aware of similar things when you do it.

    We are very pleased its all done and dusted now but very dissapointed in the total lack of knowledge and respect for our family thoughout.

    I hope you have a much nicer experience and good luck XX

    Nina


    Offline MandMtb

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #82 on: 14/03/09, 09:23 »
    Nina, I'm sorry about your expereince with CAFCASS, but am pleased for the end result for you, congratulations!

    For others interested, like Nina found, most adoption agencies will try and encourage you to aply for other orders rather than an Adoption Order. But if this is really what you want stick to your guns! As it is the most secure Order to give the non bio parent full PR permenantly.

    S x x x

    Offline single.mummy

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #83 on: 14/03/09, 17:26 »
    Nina, I am sorry that you had such a horrid time and I hope that we do not suffer with too many similar problems. But forewarned..... Thanks, I will try and look into it before I return to work as I am sure it will be easier when I am not working to get in contact with the relevant organisations.
    Thanks again

    Offline leoaimee

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #84 on: 16/03/09, 09:05 »
    crickey bob twinmummy!!!!  what a bloomin crock up!!  they sound terrible!

    i cant wait to live in england again, when gaby and i can both be legal parents ... there is nothing we can do here.   :( :(

    BACKWARDS little colonial outpost that it is!   ;D

    Offline Twinmummy

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #85 on: 16/03/09, 21:25 »
    Hey Aimee - long time no speak ! congrats on getting to 30 weeks !

    Thats a real shame you can both be legal parents there. Is it something likely for the future do you know ? Do you plan to move back here aimee with gaby and your daugther?


    Offline leoaimee

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #86 on: 17/03/09, 13:27 »
    eventually we will come back to england, i couldnt face the thought of it being forever!  but i think timing wise its going to be when gaby doesnt have the responsibility of her parents .... which could be 10 /15 years i suppose  :'( :'(  its a horrid thing because its horrid to think im waiting for them to pop their clogs effectively before i can go home....

    and our LO will be almost an adult by then ....

    but who knows what will happen.  i try to enjoy the good things that we have being here!  but for LGBT things gib is in the DARK AGES!!  Peter Tatchel comes here to protest about in equality in the law.

    two gay women are currently taking the gib gov to court in europe for discrimination because they live together in a council flat and have done for twenty years, one of their names is on the rent book, and if the other one outlives her she will be made homeless. 


    Offline lesbo_mum

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #87 on: 7/04/09, 12:26 »
    I just relised its gone past April 6th woo hoo!!! happy lesbo's aloud on birth cert day after day  ;D

    Offline mintyfaglady

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #88 on: 7/04/09, 15:19 »
    We registered our baby's birth today and got our PR forms signed so my wife has some legal rights to our son until we can go through the adoption. She's finding it all very upsetting, having to jump through these hoops - I think in part because that law change is so close yet no use to us now, though I'll be able to take advantage of it if she carries our second. It's great that we CAN secure legal rights to our kids in the UK, but I do feel for her.  :(

    Offline leoaimee

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    Re: LGB legal issues
    « Reply #89 on: 8/04/09, 10:59 »
    ahh minty!   ^hugme^  it must just bring it all into focus actually having to go through the buraucracy ... (SP?) but in the end its a good thing.  we have all moved on so much legally in the uk in the last few years, there is much to celebrate!