* Author Topic: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?  (Read 16749 times)

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Offline HUNGARY

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Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
« on: 20/07/08, 21:41 »
Hello,
I am new to posting on this site but have been lurking for the last couple of months and reading a few of your stories.  Hopefully I'm posting in the right place.
Our history in short is that after 2 years of TTC, we have found ourselves dealing with severe MF. The tests have just come back and identified Kleinefelters  :-[
We know that there is no way we will ever have our own biological child and are slowly coming to terms with the fact that we will require the use of donor sperm to achieve our longed for family.
We have just been referred to a fertility clinic and are awaiting our first consultation appointment.
In the meantime, I have had an up to date set of hormone profiles done, HIV and Hepatitis and have started to chart again to find patterns in my cycle in preparation for what lies ahead.
My question is how long have people generally had to wait to find a potential donor match before they have been able to start treatment? Once a match has been found, do things kick off straight away?

This is all so new to us so we will probably have many more questions over the coming weeks.

Many Thanks

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    Offline olivia m

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #1 on: 21/07/08, 08:46 »
    Hi
    It is a huge shock when you finally realise that donor sperm is going to be the only way to have a family.  Do take time to grieve the child you cannot have...it really helps in welcoming the child (by donor sperm) that you can have.  I can certainly say from twenty odd years on that having our family this way has been completely fulfilling and we couldn't love our children more.  They adores their dad too.
    Do think about joining DC Network  www.dcnetwork.org to be in touch with others.  We have many families where the MF is due to Klinefelters.
    With regard to your question about matching, this will depend on the numbers of donors that your clinic has been able to recruit.  Some clinics have many donors, others just a few and many more none at all.  It does vary enormously from clinic to clinic.  Contact the National Gamete Donation Trust for up to date information about donor availability, www.ngdt.co.uk   0845 226 9193.
    Very best wishes
    Olivia


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    Offline Bronte

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #2 on: 21/07/08, 17:40 »
    Hungary,

    We waitied about 4 months to be matched and started straightaway.. It will depend on where abouts you are in your cycle as to how quick you start.

    If you want to join us ladies on the Anyone using Donor Sperm you will be most welcome :)

    Love Bronte xx

    Offline HUNGARY

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #3 on: 21/07/08, 19:02 »
    Thank you both for your replies, they are much appreciated.

    Olivia - thanks for the link - I shall check it out. It's lovely to hear that you feel that way about your family and especially about them adoring their dad.

    Bronte - Thank you for sharing your experience of wait times etc. Its difficult because we feel we just want to start but know we may face uncertain obstacles along the way. I will pop along across to the other thread and join you soon so see you there.

    Hungary
    xx

    Offline Marielou

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #4 on: 21/07/08, 20:00 »
    I've never had a wait with my clinic - they just ask me when I want to book in and have never told me I'm on a waiting list.  :)

    Best of luck,

    Marie xxx

    Offline spooks

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #5 on: 21/07/08, 20:32 »
    Hungary  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ hello - the wait varies enormously from clinic to clinic. I've never had to wait for donor sperm at my clinics but it can take time to have all the blood tests and checks and paper-work done. I know this isn't the way you imagined you'd have a family but things do get easier and people using donor sperm have counselling at their clinics which I was dreading but actually really helped.
    I too post on the same thread as Marie and Bronte and it's great because we're all at different stages in tx - some are first timers and others are going for baby number 2. It's a very helpful and friendly thread to post on.
     ^hugme^ 

    Offline dezzie9292

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #6 on: 18/01/12, 17:32 »



    well i was trying to find a sperm donor. my aunt and uncle have been trying to have kids for a good almost 2 yrs. They have been praying everyday that god would bless them with a child.I really wanna help them so i told them i would try to find a donor and carry the baby for them until born then give them custity so they can start the family they been prayin for.
    if anyone can help me plz reply back!!!!

    Offline hevaroo

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #7 on: 22/01/12, 22:08 »
    hi, my partner has azoospermia so our only option is to use a donor. after completing blood tests, hsg and scans we had to have counselling and then pick our donor. we're quite lucky that there are donors available at our clinic, however there weren't as many as i had expected (about 8 altogether!). we chose last monday and are ready to start treatment on my next cycle so we havent had a wait.
    good luck and best wishes in your journey x

    Offline 2Buttons

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #8 on: 12/11/12, 19:21 »
    Hello ladies, I've not posted here before but I had a follow up with the consultant today and I'm looking for advice on what to do next.

    So I saw Dr X today...in summary we've had 2 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs (we've used  ICSI and assisted hatching in there too). Its been 4.5yrs and no pregnancies, they can't find any problems with me or DH (I've had HSG and hysteroscopy/laparascopy, basic tests, DH has also had genetic screening). Our problem is that our embryos don't make it to morula stage (i.e. they all slow and fail from Day 4 - we've had Day 3 and 4 ETs). The Dr is inclined to think its a sperm problem that they can't see but he cannot provide any conclusive tests and he recommended we go for Donor Sperm or another ICSI and then donor sperm (or perhaps egg but more expensive) if that's an easier transition for us. He said PGS/D, IMSI and the likes of DHEA wouldn't help us.

    My questions is - after only 2 IVFs and no actual diagnosis of a problem, is this too soon to give up on our own genetic mix baby? What would you do? Thanks in advance for any replies.

    Offline purplepeak

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    Re: Donor Sperm and the wait to be matched?
    « Reply #9 on: 16/12/12, 19:32 »
    Hi 2Buttons,

    I'm sorry to hear your story. Of course whether two IVFs are enough is a really personal decision. But I can tell you my thinking for us in case that helps at all. And really I just wanted to say hello and that we're in a very similar boat. We've had two failed ICSIs. Very poor sperm morphology is obvious but no recognised syndrome has been diagnosed. Our embryos are poor quality and fertilisation rate low. It is very hard to make the decision to move on when the doctors don't really understand fully just how likely or unlikely success might be with dh's sperm. In our case, we are doing a third cycle with dh's sperm but have been told it is likely none of the embryos will survive until blastocyst for transfer. After that, I think we will probably move to donor sperm. Increasingly I feel that it is what I want, and dh says he is pretty much on the same page. I feel that it is time we were parents now, and that I don't want to prolong this difficult time of ttc with very little hope. I guess dh's age plays into that feeling for me, as he will be 45 just after Christmas, but even though I'm younger than him (34) I still feel that for me too it is time to be a parent now and I don't want to wait. I think that when we have children we will love them and that is what matters. 

    Where are you cycling by the way? None of our doctors have actually wanted to tell us that it won't work, whereas yours seems a bit bolder, so I wonder whether that is because of differences in our embryos or because your doctors are a bit more expert ...

    Best of luck with your decision.

    P.