Treatment support > Ovulation Induction, Clomid & Tamoxifen

The Off Load Zone - please read rules on 1st post

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So what is this zone I hear you ask ???
Well it is an area that you can post your feelings whether it be a rant, upset, down, happy, uncertain etc etc

The rules in this area are the same as the rest of FF, so please remember no swearing (use the ^swear^ icon instead) and remember your 'code of conduct' regarding the info that you leave whether it be about another FF or someone in real life (don't forget this is a public forum)


This is purely to get something out of your system and once it has been aired hopefully you will feel a lot better for it.

Fire Opal:
fab idea Shell, thanks so much,

much needed on those clomid days


I am definitely having a Clomid day and probably the worst one so far. I need to vent, else it will all fester in my mind and that isn't healthy, not considering the ttc especially..

My 7 months pregnant bm was off work over Christmas, but she is back tomrrow. I love her dearly, but apart from the fact she is heavily pregnant, she has no idea what 'tact' is.
My other 6 months pregnant bm barely ever contacts me nowadays.
My other friend who I am not as close to as my 2bm's, but still spend time with/contact, had her 5th child 3 months ago.
All I've heard from my family for the past week, especially my one sister, is all about my Great nephew.
My other sister has 4 children and a grandchild.. there are constantly young children/babies with her and she has issues with her hubby. So I'm not piling on her shoulders, anyway.
Even though NYE was good [we had a party here at mine] the majority of it saw my DH's 2 yr old nephew being doted upon by everyone. I see him 2/3/4 times a week and he is constantly doted on by the whole of DH's family.
My next door neighbour is about to give birth at any moment.
Another friend at work doesn't stop talking about his pregnant girlfriend.
All I seem to hear and see is baby baby baby on tv, magazines, films..
I thought my DH completely [well, as close to 'completely' as a man could] understood what I'm going through, but I realised today that he really doesn't get it that well at all.

I finally realise today, that I have no one to talk to about any of what is going on and I am alone with this. I know I can come here and the girls here are great and it certainly helps me considering I'm new to the treatment side of things. But when all is said and done, the girls here have their own issues to contend with. They really do help in lots of ways, but it's different.. I would love to have just ONE gf here at home who could even remotely understands any of what I'm feeling/thinking - and preferably she wouldn't be pregnant!!

I am constantly frikkin surrounded [physically here at home, not the forum] by people who are either having babies or just had a baby or talk about their babies. I sometimes feel like I'm on meltdown and the se from Clomid doesn't exactly 'help' with re to being even more emotional than I already am. It's so so hard to stay positive sometimes, to believe that it will happen for us. I can't look at my DH some days because I think I don't deserve him and that he is going to miss out on something he would be brilliant at, something he would cherish and protect and love more than anything else on earth.

Ttc 5 years and 4 months. I have days [and today is fast turning into one] where I think I'll never have my chance.  Worst part of all, I feel guilty for wishing all of the above people would just shut the hell up about their babies for 1 freakin day and give me a break!!!! Cant write anmore I have tears streaming down my face.

My mum called today to tell me about how she had been nursing the baby daughter of one of her friends sons. This ended with a big sigh and "I hope it will be yours I am holding next" Yeah thanks mum..... I am sorry for not getting pregnant quick enough...Must try harder  ^idiot^ >:( ^bigbad^

Fire Opal:
 ^furios^  need to let out my bad thoughts

I keep having moments of   >:( in my head, its wrong i know i feel  >:(  that dh  ^sperm^ can't seem to get to my egg, its silly i know but i'm going though all these SE on clomid, can feel the pain of ov and still its not happening, why can't his dam sperm be arsed to get there, also why is it i feel i can't blame him as its a manly thing, if anyone every asks me what the problem is i put all the blame on me,  ^idiot^ 

this is v silly and its only in my head for a few seconds but just needed to vent my feelings Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



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