* Author Topic: Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread  (Read 186050 times)

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Offline DizziSquirrel

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  • Mummy at last
This is a support thread for those people
who plan to tell any child concieved that a donor was used

Anyone who is undecided may dip into both the telling and not telling threads
to get both sides, or ask questions.

Any posts belittling or disputing the choices others have made will be removed.
~Dizzi~

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    Offline purplejr

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #1 on: 12/10/10, 22:29 »
        Hi.
     
      I'm looking at the issue from a slightly different angle. I did 2 rounds of egg  share. Don't know if either recipient got pg or how many eggs they got. I sort  of askd when I called the clinic to inform them of Megan's birth and they said  someone would call me but they never did.
     
      My tell or not is whether to tell Megan that she may have siblings out there.  It's unlikely we will have more children unless another miracle happens.
     
      What are your thoughts on this.
     
      Joy xx

    Offline ceci.bee

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #2 on: 13/10/10, 08:44 »
    Thanks Dizzi this is a really good idea to have the two support threads without lists - and will continue to browse both I think as appreciate hearing all views about this difficult and sensitive topic :)
     
    love Ceci :-*

    Offline pinkbabe

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #3 on: 13/10/10, 10:27 »
    just bookmarking x

    Offline ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #4 on: 13/10/10, 10:31 »
    Thanks Dizzi  ^hugme^
     
     ^wave^  Ju  ;)

    Offline mojitomummy

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #5 on: 13/10/10, 13:50 »
    thanks dizzi. - missed the link to this new thread though until i tried to reply
     
    Interesting thought joy - i guess if you are talking about IVF it can be an extention of that. I guess my view is to be as honest and open as possible with your own children so that would support telling her.  Was it covered in any counselling you had? I wanted to be an egg donor but wasn't allowed but hadn't thought about that aspect just that fact that our baby would have been from donor sperm. interesting.

    Offline emmaboo73

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #6 on: 13/10/10, 13:53 »
    bookmarking  :)

    Offline purplejr

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #7 on: 13/10/10, 17:17 »
    Hi Becky - to be honest the counselling we had for the egg share was pretty naff and basically a paper exercise to say they had done it. They told us to look at the donor conception network but it doesn't cover that aspect really, more if you are using donor eggs or sperm.

    Joy xx

    Offline Mistletoe (Holly)

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #8 on: 13/10/10, 17:49 »
    There is some information about children being more fascinated about their half siblings than the donor. There is a donor sibling register I believe.

    If you don't tell and then they want to get married in the future, however minute the possibility, there is always a chance that they could meet and want to marry a sibling if they do not know. It has been known to happen rarely in the past - genetic attraction.

    If you become worried that the possibility, then you might be tempted to tell at that stage and then it could cause trouble.

    My personal feeling is that honesty is always the best policy at an early stage, then no one can say you kept a secret or lied and it is never a shock at a sensitive moment.

    Offline juju81

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #9 on: 13/10/10, 20:11 »
    Sorry, was trying to post "just bookmarking", wouldn't let me post anymore  ;D

    Mini  :), was expecting the finger to pop up  :P