* Author Topic: Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread  (Read 186192 times)

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Offline DizziSquirrel

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Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #10 on: 13/10/10, 20:33 »
Ju I deleted your other post ;) and was going to say post again but you have lol
Thanks everyone, Happy Chatting ^wave^

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    Offline ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #11 on: 13/10/10, 21:13 »
    Ju - don't know what you are on about!  :-[ :P :P :P :P
     
    purple - I'm pretty sure they tell you if there was a BFP??  ^hugme^

    Offline purplejr

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #12 on: 13/10/10, 21:19 »
    Mini - We were told we had to request the info.

    Offline olivia m

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #13 on: 13/10/10, 21:53 »
    Hi Joy
    Yours is an interesting question.  Whilst I would completely agree with Hazel that honesty is the best policy, the Government in it's wisdom did not think carefully enough about the needs and interests of children within the family of a donor, when they came to laying down provisions in the HFE Act for availability of information.  Donor conceived children, conceived in the UK post April 2005 have the right to have information about their donor from age 18 and at that age ANY person conceived at a licensed clinic with donated gametes after August 1991 can go on a register to have contact with half siblings.  However, the children in the family of a donor have no rights to have their names on any register in order to be in touch with their half-sibs nor can DC children be in touch with them.
    Of course the possibility of contact between half sibs will be there if/when DC young adults make contact with their donor post 18 (in our experience likely to be older than that if they were told early).  This is just one of the good reasons for donors to share information with their children about their part in creating other families sooner rather than later.  I hope you feel you can do this with pride Joy.  You certainly have done something very special indeed and you are entitled to know the outcome of your donation.  If you can't get this information from your clinic you can get it from the HFEA.

    Just like to confirm what Hazel said.  Our experience at DC Network is that donor conceived people are often much more interested in half-sibs than in their donor.  Those told early are never looking for a parent and it's not surprising that they have more interest in others around the same age as them who are likely to share some interests and are in the same, or similar, position to them.
    Olivia

    Offline daisyg

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #14 on: 14/10/10, 09:11 »
    Just bookmarking!
     

    Offline suitcase of dreams

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #15 on: 14/10/10, 11:46 »
    just bookmarking too  :)

    Offline Bloofuss

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #16 on: 14/10/10, 13:36 »
    Thanks Dizzy for this Thread.
     
    I have minimal info from my donor and I know that she has 3 children which will be half siblings to my boy - just too much to take in just now - where I have chosen when the time is right to tell my boy it is still a lot to think about regarding the lives of 3 other possible half siblings but only thru genes and if the donor has told them???
     
    Any thoughts appreciated
     
    Bloo x
     

    Offline LiziBee

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #17 on: 14/10/10, 20:22 »
    Mostly book marking, but on the issue of the number of siblings I found this article very interesting
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/sep/19/sperm-donors-shortage-market-forces

    Olivia - does this mean some of our children may have 'unrecorded' siblings? (Though the inference from the article seems to be that there may actually be less siblings than many of us suspect). Does HFEA not keep a central record of this? (Assuming HFEA is still around that is, and if they are abolished as the government plans who will hold the records?)

    Thanks
    Lizi.x

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    Offline olivia m

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #18 on: 14/10/10, 20:44 »
    Hi Lizi
    This is an interesting article from Liza Mundy whose book Everything Conceivable is well worth reading.  It may well be that in very recent years, because of supreme vigilance by HFEA over number of families created via each donor, that some children have very few donor siblings.  What is unknown, and cannot be known until contact is made post 18, is how many half-sibs a child might have in the family of the donor.
    In the early years of the HFEA, when there was much poorer record keeping, quite often more than ten families were created.  I know one sixteen year old who has 18 half-sibs and I'm sure she is not unique.  All parents of donor conceived children (post 1991) can find out from the HFEA how many half-sibs their children have, their gender and years of birth.

    What happens to the Registry if and when the HFEA is broken up is one of the big questions that DC Network is very keen to keep tabs on.  I am personally unclear that the HFEA will finally come under the hammer.  As you may have seen from recent press reports, some parts of the Government are realising that the functions performed by some arms length bodies (such as the HFEA) will cost them more to break-up and realign than keeping them together.  There was never any question of the FUNCTIONS of the HFEA being abolished, just a question mark hanging over whether it needed a specialist body to perform these functions.  We shall see.
    Olivia

    Offline pinkcat

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #19 on: 15/10/10, 18:22 »
    bookmarking  :)