* Author Topic: Telling the child and other people, Chat/Support thread  (Read 186212 times)

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Offline Mistletoe (Holly)

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Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #40 on: 27/10/10, 22:54 »
Of course you never know how the law might change in the future.

There is a possibility that information recorded in notes today, might have different rules applied to it in the distant future and you can not guarantee that information would not be disclosed to your offspring or other relatives.

Even in the current laws if there were ever a case to answer about the child's delivery for instance - the child themselves can make a claim for damages for up to 21 years after their birth.

Normally medical negligence cases have to be taken up within 3 years, but in the case of obstetric complications, claims can be made 3 years after the child becomes an adult. There might be a need to see the notes in that case.

Just a thought.

This is why honesty is always the best policy in my opinion then there can never be problems with people finding out the hard way, or as in a case on the legal board right now, an ex husband threatening you with disclosing information to family out of spite.


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    Offline pinkcat

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #41 on: 28/10/10, 09:59 »
     
     
    I hadn't even considered that the law could change....makes you think.
     
    Can I just say that I personally think it is appalling that they could even consider making parents record a donor on their child's birth certificate.....what next.....make all parents take a DNA test prior to registering a birth? 

    Offline olivia m

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #42 on: 28/10/10, 14:19 »
    The Lords became very exercised about donor conceived children not being told about their origins.  The proposals to put information about DC on birth certificates came about as a result of this...the idea being that it would force parents' hands in being open with their children.  DCN has always maintained that it is better to raise awareness and educate parents about the benefits and importance of openness.  The Government of the day agreed with us and provided funding for DCN to run Preparation for DC Parenthood and Telling and Talking workshops. Not that we can reach everyone that way....
    Olivia

    Offline pinkcat

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #43 on: 28/10/10, 17:37 »
    I just think it is unfair that it seems they are picking on people that have had their children through donor conception in a regulated clinic....nobody can force a woman who has had a one night stand/affair/home insemination or indeed ANY other form of conception to tell her child about it's origins.
     
    Olivia, I think you are right that it is far far better to simply encourage openness through your DCN information and workshops, it's not something I think should ever be forced by law.....
     
    .....unless of course they force ALL parents to disclose on the birth certificate how the child was conceived...but then Jeremy Kyle would be out of a job  ;)
     
    pinkcat

    Offline Bloofuss

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #44 on: 30/10/10, 09:55 »
    Hi ladies
     
    Just popping on to say that I agree think your Midwife was a bit oldfashioned as I did tell mine as she was fine about it and congratulated me on the successful pregnancy.  Only reason I told was as someone said before due to the Downs test as I was 34 and donor was 35 so had to say "age" of egg if you like  ;D
     
    I have told a few close family and fiends of L conception and others i.e work colleagues etc that L was IVF but not told re Donor - I feel I would rather L know the truth first rather than everyone I know as it is his information to know.
     
    I am so glad for this thread as L gets older it always goes thru youtr mind of HOW to tell and HOW will I cope.
     
    Bloo x

    Offline Jayne

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #45 on: 30/10/10, 11:54 »
    Bookmarking :)

    Offline Kerry Crabtree

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #46 on: 30/10/10, 12:57 »
    Hi


    part bookmarking and part letting you know of a poem i have written and self published on lulu


    http://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/a-most-precious-gift/4442263?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1


    it has lots of blank pages in which i intend to stick scan pictures photos etc to make it really personal for my child - if we are succesfull!


    good luck to all on your journeys!

    /links

    Offline leoaimee

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #47 on: 31/10/10, 17:20 »
    just wondering - going back to the sibling thing - as our donor had no known fertility - i have assumed he doesnt have children in his own family - and therefore our daughter is the first from his sperm .... but might that not be right if he doesnt have to disclose info about his own children?

    on the midwife notes thing, when i had my first chat with midwife they asked about genetic conditons on the 'father's' side - obviously i dont know - and was happy to put the full details of our donor conception on the notes.
    the midwifes happily scrubbed out father and recorded my partner as mother in that part of the form.

    Offline olivia m

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #48 on: 31/10/10, 17:33 »
    Hi leoaimee
    Your donor may or may not have children already, but he also may go on to have children in the future.  None of them will be recorded on the HFEA register.
    Olivia

    Offline leoaimee

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    Re: Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #49 on: 31/10/10, 17:43 »
    so 'no proven fertility' just means no donor concieved children?