Fertility Friends Support Forum banner

Gutted - need a hug

8K views 107 replies 8 participants last post by  Blondebimbette 
#1 ·
Hi all
Just had a call from the clinic and I'm so upset.  We are on our 2nd ICSI cycle.  I had both my tubes removed last year and our first cycle failed in April/May this year.  I have a low AMH, 4.2, but last time we managed to get 5 eggs and 4 fertilised.  Unfortunately it was a BFN and no frosties.  We're having another go but I am responding poorly this time.  Have only got 2 follicles and they're not very big.  Consultant has upped my dose of stimms (Gonal F) and I have another scan on Monday to see if this has helped.  I'm not feeling hopeful and Nurse just said we may have to cancel this cycle.  I am gutted and I expect if we want to try again they will recommend Donor eggs.  I'm so upset, just don't know what to think or do.
It's bad enough that we all are going through hell in one way or another but I just feel like I'm constantly being kicked in the face.
Thanks for listening!
Love and babydust to you all  ^reiki^
Troodles :'( :'( :'( :'(
 
#2 ·
^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ so sorry to read your post, nothing I can say but want you to know we all know what you are going through and feel for you, hope you can find the strength in yourself to keep going.
I have low AMH and am waiting to start tx in the next month or two so I could well be in your boat shortly also the possibility of donor eggs too looms on the horizon for me but I am managing to slowly get my head around it.
Don't give up just yet and I'll keep everything crossed that Monday brings you better news.

Much love

Blondie x
 
#3 ·
Blondie
Thanks so much for your message.  Trying to stay positive but it's hard isn't it.
Will keep everything crossed for you, good luck hun and here's to a good outcome for both of us.
^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^
Troodles x x x
 
#4 ·
Yes 'try to be positive' - 4 very easy words to say 4 very hard ones to do!! You've also got to be kinda realistic with yourself I find, not to be mistaken for negative but for me I need to prepare myself for the possible worst outcome & what I'll do/how I'll cope and then if the outcome is better I really appreciate it, we are all different but that works for me, if that make sense!
At least you weren't on the highest dose of stimms so he was able to up yours which may have made a difference by Monday, I'll be watching out to see what happens but either way you will find the strength to cope with whatever happens next, look at how far you've come already.

Lots of love xxx
 
#5 ·
Just wanted to pop on and send you some  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^  Troodles.
This whole IVF thing is just sooooo tough, it makes me really angry when I hear people thinking it's a walk in the park.  At the end of last year my consultant told us he wouldn't recommend us trying IVF again due to my poor response and to consider donor eggs.  To cut a L O N G story short, I'd just about got my head round DE and we were getting our blood tests up to date, when I had a surprise natural BFP but miscarried, so I'm back having to get my head round the idea of DE now.
I really hope things look better on monday, and will be keeping anything crossable crossed for you  :)
 
#6 ·
Thanks ladies  ^hugme^
Am so nervous about tomorrow and DH can't get any time off work so I've got to go by myself.
Spanna, thanks for your message, so sorry to hear about your mc, I can't imagine what you went through.
You're right blondie, we have to be realistic and I think people see it as being negative but they just don't know what we have to go through and deal with on this journey.
Thanks for your support chicks, will let you know how tomorrow goes.  Hopefully lots of smiley faces!!
Lots of love and good luck to you both and let's hope we all get our dream soon.
T x x x
^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#7 ·
Troodles - Are you NHS or self funding? If you are self funding you won't have to cancel the cycle as I went to EC with 2 follies, however I do believe if it is an NHS cycle you have to have at least 3. Sending you lots of  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ as IVF with a low AMH is tough but plenty of people have got pregnant will 1 follie so hang in there  ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^fairydust^
 
#8 ·
Troodles

I had exactly the same thing last week only one folly. Oh how I cried and how they tried to persuade me to stop. But we were self funded so on I went I ate lots of protein drank lots of water sat with a hot water bottle and prayed like nothing on earth  :). Anyway my one folly grew and I had some small ones but off I went to EC. So I got 3 eggs and 2 fertilised well and went back this morning  ;D. Don't give up  ^fairydust^  ^hugme^
 
#9 ·
Hi Ladies
Thanks so much for your kind messages and support.
Mazza we're self funded and Eyeore everything crossed for you.  I've been doing the same, hot water bottle, eating protein, 5 brazil nuts a day!!  I really hope this works for you,.
So to update, we went for our scan today and I have one that is 21mm and one that is 14 and then the really tiny ones have sprouted!!  Well there's only 2 more and they're about 10mm so they've ordered us some more stims so I'm gonna take 2 more high doses of that and have another scan on Wednesday and possibly EC on Friday.  The doc said to go for it as he believes this is our last chance with my eggs and it'll have to be DE if we want another go.  I haven't ruled out DE but it's a lot to get your head around isn't it.  The concern now is they don't want the 21mm to get too big as they won't be able to use it.  Flippin typical eh!!
Anyway, as I keep trying to tell myself, we only need one!!  It's got to happen this time, it's my last chance to pass on my genes (though some would say who'd want them!! lol).
Lots of love and baby dust to you all and Eyeore please keep me posted  ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^
 
#10 ·
Yey Troodles, it aint all over yet!!! Keep strong & positive girl!! I'm  ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ing for you!!

Hi Eyeore,  ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ing for you too, keep us posted.

Loads of love & luck ladies xxx
 
#11 ·
Thanks Blondie  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
Am sat in waiting for drug company to deliver my drugs.  Don't they realise how important that little injection is!!!!!!!!! lol
Love to all x x x
^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^
 
#12 ·
Lol, I'm sat in waiting for a new phone...good excuse to watch daytime TV (sad secret addiction... ;D ;D ;D)

xxx
 
#13 ·
Oh I bet you're a closet Jezza Kyle fan Blondie!!

Hi all, hope you're all well.

I'm having such a bad day.  Went for scan and now have only 1 follie as other one is now too big!!! FFS!  Doc said we should just give it a go as this is our last chance with my eggs.  If we go again it'll have to be DE.  I am so upset and distressed and try as he might, DH just doesn't understand and says I'm being too negative.  I am numb, I actually cannot have children.  EVER!  It just all feels so hopeless and I can't stop crying.  DH doesn't know what to say to me but he is good at the big hugs.  And to top it all my dad has been rushed to hospital with DVT and a pulmonary embolism.

So, EC on Friday morning.  Took trigger shot earlier.  Tummy and boobs are very sore.  Please let us have a little luck and let this one work.

Lots of love and baby dust to you all x x x x x
:( ^eyes^
 
#14 ·
Oh Honey i'm so sorry...
Don't give up, i only had one folly they said was of any good size all the others were under 10mm and i still got 3 eggs.
I know its so hard this process and i cried and cried before my EC but you've got to stay strong and  ^pray^
DH's don't understand as we are so much more emotional and the whole DE thing is a lot to get your head around.

I hope your dad is ok.

Let me know how you get on.

Lots of love and  ^hugme^ and ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^
 
#15 ·
Thanks so much hunny, it means a lot.  I'm in floods again now!!
How did you get 3 eggs from 1 fol?  I'm confused.  At todays scan I had 1 26mm, 1 18mm and 1 15mm then I think it was 1 or 2 only 10mm.  Nurse says prob can only use the 18mm unless the 15 has a growth spurt before Friday.  I know I should try and stay positive.  I'm sure I will feel a bit better tomorrow.  Just been a bit stressful today.  God I need a large vodka, a cigarette and a real coffee - not decaff!! Oh well, I'll just stick with the water!!
Thanks again for your message.  Sorry to be so down.  I hope you are okay.
Love Troodles  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#16 ·
The nurse said something similar to me.  I had an 18mm a 11mm and the rest were under 10 but when I went for EC the lovely doctor said sometimes they get some small ones. Two fertilised well so keep your fingers crossed. Sometimes I think Nurses are just very worst case scenario  ^bigbad^

I'm ok thanks feeling a bit sick today and to top it off I have thrush - delighttful!!!!

You are allowed to be down this whole process is so hard but it's good we have FF to get us through I have had lots of support on here. It's just a shame that water doesn't take the edge off like a vodka or a nice glass of red  :)
Take care Hun  ^hugme^ ^reiki^
 
#17 ·
Awww hun, sorry you're feeling poorly.  My friend got thrush with her tx.  Anything else they want to throw at us!!
Thanks for your message, I do feel better after reading this.  Let's hope I can prove the nurse wrong!!
Well cheers, here's to our water, we can imagine it's a nice Shiraz! lol
T x x x
 
#18 ·
Hi Troodles just catching up with what's been happening, your not having it easy are you love? I really hope your dad is ok and sorry to hear how upset you've been.
You hang in there, I'm thinking of you and got everything Xed for Friday.

Lots of love xxx

PS Jezza Kyle - no way! Heir Hunters & Homes Under the Hammer for sure!!
 
#19 ·
Thanks hun
Am really trying to think positively today. Keep telling myself it only takes 1!  Got to be at the clinc for 7am as I'm diabetic so they have to do it early because of the no eating after midnight.  I'll come home and spend the day in bed so lots of daytime telly for me!!  Love Homes under the Hammer but not keen on Heir Hunters.  My guilty pleasure is Coach Trip.  Can't wait for it to come back.  I record it, much to DH's disgust lol
Have a good day, take care ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#20 ·
Haaaaaaaaa recording Coach Trip...now that really is something to make me smile ;D ;D ;D
Good luck hunnie, hang on to those positive thoughts, it does only take 1.

Be thinking of you tomorrow x
 
#21 ·
Thanks hun, just a shame Coach Trip's not on during my 2ww!!! lol
Take care  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#22 ·
Coach Trip LMAO!!!!!!
I have found that a bit addictive myself! Jus wanted to say hope all goes well tomoz I have my fingers crossed for you  ^pray^ ^pray^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^hugme^
 
#23 ·
Thanks hunny. Got to be there at 7 but don't think I'll get any sleep!

Re Coach trip, LOVE Brendan!!!

T x x x
 
#24 ·
OMG Coach Trip is back Mon!!!!!!!!!!
 
#25 ·
Its a sign! X
 
#26 ·
That's what I thought!!  ;D
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top