Fertility Friends Support Forum banner

Lolly's journey to find a family

170K views 1K replies 54 participants last post by  -x-Lolly-x- 
#1 ·
Hello everyone!  ^wave^

So this is the start of our journey  :)  We have decided we would like to adopt!!  :) So after completing an initial telephone chat/mini interview, receiving our application pack and sending the expression of interest form, we are not so patiently waiting on an appointment date for our first visit with the SW!

I know that this is very early in our journey to be starting a diary but I think it would be lovely to get to know some of you, and share experiences with those who have, are, or are soon to go through the adoption process.  Any support, advice, stories or simple chat would be lovely, and will help keep me sane on what is sure to be the most exciting, yet nerve wracking journey ever!!

A little about our story so far:

Me 27, DP 30.  TTC our first for 4 ½ years, with PCOS and Endo.  We have had 3 failed ICSI cycles, everything was good on paper each time, yet our little embies didn’t stay  :'(  I struggled so much with the emotional stress of treatment that we decided to stop after our third cycle and look at other avenues in order to be a family.  I work with many deprived children and while I know it is a totally different situation, have always felt that adoption would be a fantastic way to give a child a loving home and family.  DP took a little while longer to decide that this is a path he would like to take. 

We are hoping to get married within the next year, after I finish my degree in the summer.  Life is hectic as we have tried to fill it with things to deal with the massive void infertility has burdened us with.

The last few months have been hard and I find myself looking at LTTTC and treatment forums feeling the odd one out as this is no longer where I belong.  I am hoping to find a home here and regain a sense of identity.

Can’t wait to meet you all!

Lolly ^hugme^ xxxxx

 
See less See more
#2 ·
Hi Lolly,

Congratulations on your start of journey we're both at exactly the same stage only I've got the date for my sw visit and that's in 2 weeks time. Hopefully yours shouldn't be too long now we only had to wait a week so fingers crossed you hear soon honey.
It's so nice to find somebody at the same stage as us I hope we can keep intouch.

Good luck and hope to chat soon
Emma xx
 
#3 ·
Hi Emma!!

Thank you so much for the warm welcome ^hugme^ It would be lovely to keep in touch and go through the process together, I think that would help massively :)

I'm hoping that we will hear next week or early the week after as the letter we received said that upon receipt of the expression of interest form an appointment is allocated within 10 working days.  It just depends then how long the wait for that appointment is ::)

How exciting that you have an appointment  ;D Do they come to your home or do you go to them?

Lolly xxxxx
 
#4 ·
Hiya,

It's so lovely to find someone at exactly the same stage as us we'll defiantly have to keep
In contact.
The sw is coming to our house 1 night after work she was going to
Come as early as next Tuesday but she double booked do had to reschedule but waiting 2 weeks isn't so bad it will fly by. She said on the phone the course we need to go on starts in march so I assume that must be the start of the prep course.
I'm so nervous but excited at the same time. How are you feeling at the mo?

So lovely to meet you honey
Xxxxxxx
 
#5 ·
Wow that seems so soon!! ^spin^ Sounds like the prep course as we have been told we will follow the same pattern, initial SW visit and then 3 day prep course.  The lady I spoke to from the adoption team said that after the initial visit with the SW it is time to start telling work etc so it could all start feeling really real really soon!!

Feeling the same as you I think!  Really excited, but then the anxiety hits me and the horrible 'what ifs...' start!  But all in all feeling very positive and raring to go ;D

Lovely to meet you too!!  ^hugme^ xxxxx
 
#6 ·
ive told work already i hopless at keeping things in hehe there all being really supportive its lovely.

it does seem to be moving very quickly, i have a friend that has adopted and she has been amazing she has settles all our fears and gave loads of info.

^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#7 ·
Hi

Just wanted to pop by and say Hello and goodluck on your journey.

although not at the same stage as you, i am looking forward to reading your journey, this time last year we was coming to the end of our prep group and now are approved adopter :)

Love Loobys x
 
#8 ·
hi lolly


hope you don't mind but i would like to follow your journey. we are about to send our application form off but realise that they may want us to wait 6 months due to fertility tx. hoping they will at least schedule a home visit. anyhoo...just thought i would pop in and say hi. looking forward to reading your posts.

ally

xx
 
#9 ·
Hello everyone  :)

Hi Loobys, congratulations on being approved!! ;D Are you playing the waiting game now? Must be so exciting that you are so nearly there  ;D

Hi Ally!!  Looking at your siggy you have been through a lot, I am so sorry for your losses  ^hugme^ My last treatemnt was sept/oct so technically I am not at the 6 month stage either, but the lady I spoke to was lovely and she said by the time I get moving it will be outside the 6 month period and she knows the agony of waiting around.  She said she remembered how it felt to be where we are now, was just nice to know that she knew first hand.  Hoping that you hear positive news back soon!  :)

Hi Emma, how are you today?  I don't blame you telling work at all.  I nearly did then decided against it for some reason.  I guess maybe I wanna tell them when I have news to tell and really be excited about!!

Hi to anyone else reading or going through this journey with us all.  Right, off to MIL's for dinner, hoping her delish Thai green curry is on the cards!!

Love Lolly xxxxxx
 
#10 ·
Hiya Lolly

im good today thanks how about you? counting down to our 1st sw visit 2 weeks today hubby is trying to get paintint in living room finished before she come's  ;D

Have you heard anything yet hun?

I was only going to tell my managers at work 1st so they knew for meetings etc but then i thought oh i'll tell this person then this person and before i knew it everyone knew i thought oh well i have nothing to hide i'll just tell everyone and they have all been so supportive keep asking how its going but not too full on its lovely.

hows your day been?

lovely to talk to you
chat soon
luv Emma x

 
#11 ·
Hi Lolly,
Just wanted to wish you well on your journey! Look forward to hearing more! x
 
#12 ·
Best of luck Lolly, hope your appointment comes soon, the waiting will all be worth it  ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#13 ·
Any news yet honey xx
 
#14 ·
Finally I have an update  :)

So DP rang adoption team this morning, no reply so he left a message.  In the meantime the post came and of course our letter was there!!!  Little while later a SW returns his call and while she was on the phone he got her to give him a run through of timings etc.  She told him a lot of info and to be honest I think it was really good for him to hear it from someone other than me.  She said after our initial appointment, all being ok we will book onto the 3 day prep course which will take place either April or May depending on numbers (assuming May as everything is always longer than you think!).  After that we get our SW allocation which usually takes about a month.  From that point they do the home study which they don't like to exceed 8 months, in which time they visit 8 times, we have all the checks and give 1 family member referee and 4 friends, of which they choose 2 to send reference forms to.  She said friends with children or childcare experience is good.

I was really shocked that they don't speak to all the family members and I think DP was happy to be educating me for a change  ;D He seemed happy and I think that the chat did him the world of good.

So I have to contact them tomorrow to arrange an appointment slot.  they run them every Tuesday and you have a choice of 4 time slots.  We have to travel to them but thats fine, quite happy with that at this stage.  Typically Tuesdays are my manic day of the week and the girl I always get to cover for me if i'm off is away on holiday for a whole month so my next free time is about 2 months away.  I don't want to wait that long if there is space before so may need to book annual leave and come up with a reason why its so important.  I have considered telling work but I wanted to after this appointment as I feel I will be able to give them a lot more detail of what will be happening over the next few months.  I guess number one priority is to ring the adoption team and work will have to fit around it.

I have a silly smile on my face and have been giddy since coming home.  Had to get on here and write it all down.  One step closer to my family, just soooo excited.  Please let this all go well  ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^

Lolly xxxxxxxx
 
#15 ·
Oh Lolly, I am so pleased you have finally heard something. Things are really moving now. It may take a little longer than you hoped but it will all be worth it in the end and you have details of the timeline which must help.

I know what you mean when you said it was good for your DP to take the phone call - I have dealt with the initial contact and sometimes it feels as though I am telling DH things but he needs to hear them from someone else!  ^idiot^

Good luck with everything  ^hugme^
 
#16 ·
Great news so glad you'v finally heard something hope you can get an appointment soon

^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#17 ·
yay lolly..what lovely news. even i have my silly smiley face on for you.

xx
 
#18 ·
Thanks so much ladies!!

I rang today to book an appointment and they offered me one next Tuesday!  Would have loved to take it but realistically we couldn't what with work and leave etc.  So We have one for the week after on 6th March.  I am having to shuffle annual leave about and cancel a day I had booked at end of March as mine does not get renewed until April but so be it, i'll do whatever it takes!!

Very excited and have been in the best mood.  It has been slightly dampened by my cat crisis this evening though as I have come home to find that he has been locked inside the newbuild house they are decking out for the new buyers next door.  I'm waiting on the site manager ringing me back... It been 20minutes though, how long til I chase it up.  My poor baby  :(

Hope all you lovely ladies are well.  Thank you again for your kind wishes, it means so much  ^hugme^ xxxxxx
 
#19 ·
hi lolly

sorry to hear about the kitty crisis. gosh...hope it gets sorted soon. luckily it's not too cold at the moment...actually whereabouts in the uk are you? i am in suffolk...always warmer here.

6th march? yikes...just around the corner. hurrah!


ally
 
#20 ·
Hiya honey

Awwww poor kitty hope he's out now. That sounds like something my cat would do.

Great news on the appointment date I'll be thinking of you and don't worry honestly it's very relaxed anything you want to know just ask its all still fresh in my mind.

Hope the cats ok?
Emma.  ^hugme^
 
#21 ·
Hi girlies  ^wave^ ^wave^

Kitty crisis averted!! The nice man from the housing company came down to get him out  ::) Silly boy was too scared to move so I had to go in and find him  ;D Got to have a snoop at the new neighbours place too so all good!! He got scared of the man again as we left so he had to hide under the stairs while me and the  ^cat^ made a run for it!!

We are in Lancs ally. Warm but very wet at the moment!

Thanks emma that's great, assuming its just a brief get to know you session like when did you meet, what do you do, what are your hopes for adoption and the future???

^hugme^ xxxxx
 
#22 ·
hiya

she never even asked how we met just how long have you been together, how long married had any breaks! (no btw lol) any ex partners, do we have children with anyone else (no), why we want to adopted, she explained what will happen at prep course and how long the process should take she thinks we could make panel september all being well so you should roughly be the same and nothing much else really other than my weight. she had a look round our house but you wont have that yet you lucky lady no cleaning the house just yet  ;D like my weekend was, this weekend coming up i plan to relax  :)

glad the kitty is home safe
have  good evening xxx
^hugme^ ^hugme^
 
#23 ·
Thanks for the info Emma, nice to know what to roughly expect.  I am quite glad that we don't have to worry about the house yet  :) Although we have friends staying this weekend so will be having a cleaning spree tomorrow evening anyway, can't get away from the damn housework!!

Yep, kitty is here with me all safe and sound, sleeping at the foot of the bed.  Creating some pretty bad smells in his sleep though, maybe it is the stress of the day coming out :p

Thanks lovely, have a good one too  ^hugme^ xxxxx
 
#24 ·
my cat is terrible for that must be the male cat thing hehe
we put him out last night when sw came but he was at the bacck door when she went into the kitchen and she said oh let him in i love cats and he was loving the fuss he was getting all the time i was praying please dont make a bad smell  ;D

dont work too hard on the cleaning tomorrow night hun.

night night hun  ^hugme^
 
#25 ·
Hi Lolly.
Congrats on getting date for your appointment and well done for saving kitty! We have 3 cats and they always get into mischief! Good luck on your journey ahead xxx
 
#26 ·
Thanks Rickschick! I told my mum on the phone yesterday (she lives far away, well actually it was us that moved... anyways...) she cried! Bless her, I wasn't expecting it. Everyone in our family have been so amazing with everything, feel very lucky  :)

Wow, 3 cats! Thats a lot of fur to be hoovering up  ;D My little one is a handful enough! But I love him to pieces, he is here with me licking the bedsheets, god knows why...!

Well I have cleaned the house top to bottom tonight ready for my friends coming at the weekend, sooo excited to see them! I don't know why i've gone so mad as they have a 2 1/2 year old so it won't stay that way! I love them as even though they are parents they don't talk baby 24/7.  Obviously the little girl is the centre of their world but they don't rub it in your face and have lots to talk about other than all the mummy and toddler groups they go to.  Plus I love their little one and can't wait to play!!

Hope you are all ok today.  Thursday tomorrow... we're getting there  :)

Love Lolly xxxxxx
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top