* Author Topic: Single Women Bumps - Part 5  (Read 75420 times)

0 Members

Offline Amittai

  • Full Member
  • ***
modify
Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
« Reply #150 on: 23/11/12, 14:19 »
Hi the bumpsters,
Just checking in to see how things are going ..  ^wave^   :)

Firstly Marie22, I felt quite emotional reading your message and what you are going through. Iím still early days and fortunately have had no problems yet, touch wood.
I can relate to the feelings though , I donít think Iíve felt all of them (yet), or at least not too intensely, but for sure, a lot of what you are saying are part of my fears, even if I donít feel them now exactly. (eg loneliness and isolation)

But you do sound to be like a fighter and like youíll find a way through it and somehow things will come together. You wouldn't be where you are if you didnt have a strong inner core / drive..??  (i cant think of the right word) to even attempt this in the first place! You've got so far already, that is amazing in itself. I think this whole choice is just way way off the radar of a lot of people. And when something is so foreign or (like one bumpster said, when someone expresses something that is not 100% positive) then it can make some people uncomfortable.  But that is not about you Marie..
I often find (retrospectively of course) that when I have felt my worst is often when the most creative solutions have come about, mostly because I suppose I have got my back up against the wall.  That might all be totally off the mark, but I do really wish you lots of goodness and some synchronicity and some spirit.

Oh and on the topic, Iím really trying to build up a new network in preparation or just like start setting things in motion to open new doors, Iím off to try some new groups over the next while, that are safe enough to do. I love physical and creative things, so am doing 5 rhythms dancing again, Iíd love to do some pregnancy yoga, maybe in the new year, Iím off to some interesting talks and just anything to try and expand my mind and experience a bit. Iíve always been a bit of a solo traveller, so itís a bit against the grain, but I know Iíve gotta do it!, its not easy but Iím just doing one step at a time. Marie, probably not so easy if you are not physically all that well, but I hope you get better soon and can find some kind of path to replace some of what you've lost. Anyway, so, I must say, I did drink up the words of Grace10704 and Aimless and others who've been through it all.. Iím only 8 weeks behind you sort of, so we could journey together!!?
And, how did your app go with the MW? Is all ok? I hope so! Let us know..


Elipida Ė hope you feeling better from feeling poorly. And you had a big appointment on Thurs right?
How did it go? Was all groovy?
I love your descriptions of window shopping and deciding and all the rest and good tip about Kiddecare glad you found a new branch and had good luck. I will check them out too - at some stage  :)
It must feel nice to get such a kind of focal item ticked off the list!

Lillyan the buggie and travel systems investigator, hows things? Did you decide on something?
That must be awesome to feel your little one moving, and to be thinking of and planning for a post-natal doula is a great step.
That seems miles and miles away for me, but itís good to read about for the back of my mind.
Youíre sounding organised and I love that you seem to have so much balance and mixture of organsing and fun to your to-do list.
I do love the discussion around what babies audio cultural tastes! I find that fascinating!

Hi Indie, aimless and Grace!!   ^rainbow^

AFM, had my booking in app with MW this week Ė and I was only there for 45 mins, and my bike got nicked!! GuttedÖ serves me right for having a bright red bike! GrrrÖ but such is life. Small in the grand scheme of things. But app went well..that's the main thing.
Only 2 weeks till my next scan, and Iím trying to just be calm and positive  because last time, the baby stopped growing at about 10 weeks, picked up at 12 week scan, and Iím on 8.5 weeks now, so early days still but just trying to keep positive. But I still have my friendly nauseousness by my side, that is for sure, so as long as I have that, I am happy!

Hope you all have good weekends and Marie, sending lots of  ^hugme^ 

 ^wave^  happy dayz


FertilityFriends

  • Advertisement
  • ***

    Offline Roadlesstravelled

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #151 on: 23/11/12, 15:14 »
    Hi Amittai
    Thank you for your response, I am so touched by the messages I have recieved and the support has been petty amazing just knowing that someone out there somewhere knows how i am feeling and understands how hard it can be.  I went to my MW appointment yesterday and tried to tell her about feeling depressed and isolated and she said that she didnt have time to discuss such matters only do bloods and forms as they had only booked me in for a 20minute app not a 40min one and I would have to make a separate appointment to see a doctor.  She also said that I should be feeling 'juberlant' right now not depressed, that just made me feel guilty!  So  I came away and have been debating whether or not to make a doctors appointment or not.  The messages I have recieved however have been a real help! AImless1 - I have in fact now joined the NCT although there is not much for expectant mums I thought even getting their newsletter and knowing I am a member might help and also joined Netmums.  I am going to book some antenatal classes and start pregnancy yoga (although not showing yet so feel a bit of a fraud!
    Amittai - I also had a mmc found at the 12 week scan so I know what an anxious time the first trimester was although I was in hospital for 7 weeks in and out so it sort of took my mind off it slightly!  You have to think that a mmc is not that common, by doc told me 3% so if you are having no bleeding etc all should be well and dandy, you sound like you have a positive attitude and you are not letting the past influence you too much which is exactly what you need to do, I am 16weeks and still havent told people at work in case something goes wrong!!!
    to all you other ladies hope to catch up on your news soon, off to my parents this weekend to get a bit spoilt and a bit of TLC - big  ^hugme^  to all
     
    M x x
     

    Offline Elpida

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #152 on: 23/11/12, 16:48 »

    Evening Bumpsters and those reading how are we all?


    Ammitai - sorry to hear about your bike, the  ^swear^  I miss cycling, I stopped after transfer and haven't got back on again since. I know it's good exercise but I do fall off it quite a lot (seriously, impressive bruises following one fall whilst on clexane and aspirin) and just couldn't take the risk. Did the booking in appointment make it feel a bit more real?


    Lillyan - I'm planning to start buying in jan, I want to get past 24 weeks, which is christmas. Have you had your 20 week scan yet?


    Marie22 - WTF  ^bigbad^  at the midwife - I'm so sorry that she said that to you, unforgivable.


    Inde - I like your style  :)


    OneStep, Cem how are you both?


    AFM, 20 week scan yesterday and once again so tense before hand. But all's well. Twin1, him, stretched out, chilled out. Twin2, her, bunched up on the side. I had move around lots on a far too narrow bed so the sonographer could get a good look. Poor thing. Everything is as it should be. I saw the multiples consultant and the endocrins and all seems ok. My thyroid is normal which is a massive relief, palpitations still there so perhaps anaemic, had FBC done so that should get picked up if it is. Next scan and appointments in 4 weeks, just before Xmas. I'm cooking for my birthday gathering this evening and would rather have a nap! I did have one planned into my schedule but have had a cornbread disaster so once my neighbours returns with replacement ingredients I will have to redo. Luckily a neighbour has very kindly offered to have everyone round to hers, so I just have to cart the food over. It means I can go to bed when I start to flag without chucking people out and they can carry on drinking till the small hours.


    Happy Friday one and all - hope you're warm, dry and cosy


    El x


    Offline greatgazza

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #153 on: 23/11/12, 20:00 »
    Hope all bumps are well  ^hugme^ ^hugme^ ^reiki^ ^reiki^

    just wanted to say to marie that what your mw said is outrageous.  i would ask to see a different one if i were you.  ante natal depression is as much of a problem as post-natal depression and that's incredibly negligent of her to dismiss how you are feeling and to say something so crass like you 'should' be 'jubilant' is totally unprofessional and potentially quite dangerous.  I would see your doctor to have a chat 'just in case' and mention what your mw said and ask if you can be assigned a different one. that really is out of order.  i got very down in pregnancy after losing one of the twins and went back on anti-depressants (i have suffered from depression in the past and had weaned myself off them on bfp) but there are ones you can take if necessary or there might be a women's services counsellor at your local hospital you could see, i saw mine when i was pregnant and she was lovely.  she also knew all about fertility tx and even knew of FF and i was really cross i had never been referred to her before when i had had previous miscarriages.

    i'm sure you'll be fine but don't suffer in silence if you're really not feeling great, there is help out there and it's better to access it than struggle on and get worse.  ^hugme^ ^hugme^

    GGx

    Offline Amittai

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #154 on: 24/11/12, 13:44 »
    howdee bumpsters and readsters,   :)

    Marie22- I hope you are having a lovely snuggly warm and rejuvinating time with your folks. Perfect timing after that MW event, I agree totally with GG, that is pretty shocking. Where I live they have something called a 'gateway team' where you get specialist MW attention and you see the same MW every time instead of whoever happens to be on duty. also there are mw's who specialise in different things, depression or anxiety being one of them. I got referred to them as they see me straight away as a 'risk' due to being single and having no family here, (??0) which is fine with me, whatever help i can get the better.
    I don't know if that is something that is available in all of the UK, but that sounds like something that would be of help to you M, if its available. ? (not that i am saying you are at risk, but just that you could get a bit more focus and not feel so part of a machine..) agree with GG that Doc should be able to help. Go girl!

    and thanks for the msg and your experience of mmc, that helps for sure! :)

    i can also relate to not telling work yet.. I am going to wait until the last minute possible (though we are supposed to tell them at 15 weeks). so, anywayz, enjoy weekend with folks!   ^hugme^

    Elipida, that is awesome news about 20 week scan and all being well, yay!! hopefully the palpitations are nothing too major, i cant imagine what it must be like with twinnies, double of everything i guess! I spose you gotta be ultra careful, and probably a good idea that you gave up cycling!! there is a man i see cycling every morning with his two little girls in a sort of little cart thing, that he pulls behind his bike, I've seen them grow from tiny little tots to maybe 3 or 4 years, and it is just the cutest thing, he must be dropping them at school on the way to work..you just reminded me of that..oh and he even puts them in little helmets!

    I love your story about cooking BD dinner and having neighbor host, that is so clever, talk about making a plan!  ^bow^ and it sounds like you have a lovely little community where you live, that is awesome. I hope it was fun!

    hiya GG, nice to see you!  ^spin^

    Hi everyone else, happy dayz on this lovely rainy day, lucky i got in a nice run before it got too enthusiastic, AND managed to do a charity shop run... little ticks for the day! not much in the grand scheme, but hey ho..  ;)

    ciao ciao, enjoy enjoy, and peace and namaste   ^wave^

    Offline morrigan

    • VIP Member Sponsor
    • *
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #155 on: 24/11/12, 20:34 »
    Just popping on to say hi to all the bumps - lovely to see so many of you.

    Marie I'm  horrified by your mw - please do go see your doctor if you still feel bad although I'm not suprised your not skipping along feeling happy if you feel ill. I learnt when I got an answer you didn't like ask someone else as they all give diff answers lol !

    I had palpitations throughout my pregnancy - I've got history of heart issues so I was worried but I was reassured it was just hormones of pregnancy - mine where worse when I didn't drink enough !

    Bump rubs all round.

    Offline Jesta

    • Jr. Member
    • **
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #156 on: 25/11/12, 19:22 »
    Hi ladies!! Just only got my BFP on Friday but I couldn't wait to come over to the bumps thread :) May not have a bump yet (just a little bit of chub ;)) but I'm looking forward to when I do! Haha. How is everyone?

    Offline Roadlesstravelled

    • Full Member
    • ***
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #157 on: 25/11/12, 21:10 »
    Hi all you ladies
     
    Hey Jesta I am now nearly 17 weeks and no bump what so ever, feel like a proper fraud but am sure our bumps will come!
     
    Morrigan thanks for the message, hormones are responsible for a lot in pregnancy, mine certainly have made my life a bumpy ride to date, hope your not getting any more palpatations
     
    Amittai - gosh you are running!  I barely have the energy to walk anywhere, good going was well impressed!  I forget to look in charity shops, used to when younger although I am going to start hitting car boots nearer the time as you can get some great bargins for babies! I will certianly look into whether there is something like a gateway team in my area
     
    GreatGazza - thanks for the message and advice you really are such a great support on here for everyone, I think I am going to go and see a Dr, and I am really not happy about seeing that MW again, she made me feel like she had no time for me and certainly didnt take my depression seriously! I am going to push to see someone as I am struggling at the moment,  I have been reading about antenatal depression and I have all the symptoms listed :(
     
    Elipida- great news about your scan and your little ones, sounds like you are getting looked after too which is excellent, like they say everybody needs good neighbours!
     
    Love to everyone else and their growing bumps!
     
    M xx
     

    Offline greatgazza

    • Gold Member
    • *****
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #158 on: 25/11/12, 22:47 »
    congratulations Jesta!! your bump will come don't worry!

    my god ammitai, going for a run!! i was a total couch potato. but then i was a lazy mare before so it was a great excuse! however, in my defence i actually got sick later on in pg rather than it stopping at 12w and the heartburn was horrendous pretty much all the way thru. everyone's different!

    Marie, if you're not feeling better please see your doc sooner rather than later. we don't need to struggle on these days, there is help available and it doesn't mean we're going to get locked in the looney ward.  it is possible to feel better if we just get some good support but you might need to push to access it as due to cuts etc it's not readily offered so you might need to be persistent. i would also definitely not see that mw again and don't worry about awkwardness or whatever as it's possible there's a whole team of them and you won't have to cross paths with her again.  this is a momentous time in your life and life's too short and this too precious for it to be marred by an unsupportive mw when it might not take that much to change. because of my history of depression the obs that i saw specialised in peri-natal mental health (i didn't ask for this it happened automatically) and some of her clinics were held jointly with a shrink and at first i felt a bit singled out and was thinking why can't i see the 'normal' obs but actually it meant that i got a lot more care and attention, more scans if i was worried due to losing twin etc and previous mc hx but it was also comforting to know that when i went back on the anti d's a shrink is the expert on those meds in pg. GPs often really don't know a lot about pregnancy and/or depression in pregnancy (or otherwise) so it really is worth seeing an expert.

    i basically decided to access as many resources as i could to keep myself well as i was terrified of PND and really sliding into a black hole with a baby and not much support but i am very pleased to say that bozo will be a year in january and i've been the most content i've ever been for the last 10 months so, touch wood, long may it continue.

    Hopefully you'll feel better if you're doing something about it  ^hugme^ ^hugme^

    GGx

    Offline Jesta

    • Jr. Member
    • **
    modify
    Re: Single Women Bumps - Part 5
    « Reply #159 on: 26/11/12, 11:54 »
    Hi GG and Marie!!

    Did I hear that someone is running? That's amazing. I want to rejoin the gym and get back in shape but I'm struggling to find the energy!

    How is everyone else doing? I'm trying to catch up with everyone :) Really excited to be here (as silly as that may sound!). I have my scan on the 17th.. I have no idea when I should start looking into midwives and the like, but hopefully the clinic will run me through all that. It's hard to be patient! I'm so early along, I should really just do nothing for a while but I doooon't want tooooo! ;)

    GG, I'm glad to read that you're doing okay! ^hugme^ Did you actually have PND or did you just feel like you might? I have depression and I've been off my tablets for a little while (safely weaned myself off with the Dr's advice) - have a docs appointment on Thursday to discuss it all as I'm starting to get my low days again. Eek!

    Jess xx