* Author Topic: List of positives about living child- free  (Read 21740 times)

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Offline Moretolife

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Re: List of positives about living child- free
« Reply #20 on: 10/11/12, 20:27 »

Its so true there are many of us who have really sacrificed a lot to try and have a family. When some members who have children come on here for whatever reason I think there can be a need to lighten the posting and don't mean any harm or offence but it can be difficult for some. The benefits of what my body won't have to go through with pg, labour, breast-feeding etc is a double edged sword for me as it was putting myself through multiple cycles of IVF that caused my severe relapse of M.E so the damage is already done. Its tough as there is much in life I want to embrace but am restricted because of my health problems which were caused by the relentless trying to have a baby which is the final insult.

I know there are really mixed emotions about what the positives are and how you can view life post trying for a family, its taken me time to grieve and for my emotions to shift but it is incredibly hard living with the legacy of infertility which is the M.E. Also the debts of 30k which we had to shift onto our mortgage.

Then were also all the friendships lost, relationships damaged and marriage put under strain. I doubt there are many who come out of it unscathed. I guess we all want recognition of all that whilst we rebuild a different life.

Mtl x

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    Offline melloumaw

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #21 on: 10/11/12, 20:34 »
    message removed sorry for any offence just trying to give answers to the title of the thread
    mel

    Offline Nordickat

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #22 on: 10/11/12, 22:06 »
    Now that is all dealt with lets get back to what this thread was for and try and find some positives in our lives and in our futures. The first thing i'm going to do is read through mtl's first post and remind myself of a few of them. There are positives, its just some days they are hard to see. I think i focus too much on the big daunting picture and i should think small and build up to the big stuff.

    And on that note i'm going to bed with my book which i'm planning to enjoy in bed tomorrow morning  and when i finally get up i'll enjoy the indulgence of an espresso, the paper and the tranquility - a small but important positive in my life :-)

    Night night,
    Katxxx

    Offline HopeShines78

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #23 on: 4/01/13, 19:46 »
    Hi - not given up just yet - but just sitting here at my laptop and heard the neighbour's dad say 'Get to your f***** bed now' - presuming to one of the many little 'uns they have. So, it is not all laughs and fun. Good luck everyone. x

    Offline Nosilab

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #24 on: 4/01/13, 21:53 »
    Hi all

    I haven't totally given up all hope yet, although I have just spent the last 24 hours bawling my eyes out.  Last night DH admitted that he wants tx to come to an end, he's had enough, even though we have 3 snow babies and I was hoping for at least one FET early this year  :'(  Saying that, I thought it would be sensible to start having a look around on this board in preparation for it all coming to an end a year earlier than I'd hoped.  Have found all your posts very inspirational, so I've bookmarked for future reference  :)

    xx

    Offline jo_11

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #25 on: 17/03/13, 21:29 »
    I know this is an old post I'd just like to say a heartfelt 'thank you' to all the ladies who've posted here.  And I know it's a 'positive' post but particularly MTL's posts about later life, and where we're all going to end up, has resonated.  I've recently lost my Mum, and a v close 'father figure' has terminal cancer (my Dad died 11 yrs ago), so I'm feeling at a loose end about all that.  I think it's about who we are as people, not about who we have genetically linked to us.  As I often say, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.  I just need to repeat that mantra a bit more.


    Given that this post is a couple of months' old, if anyone's still reading  ::)  I'm in the throes of thinking about a life a without children.  You'll see from my signature that I've pretty much been banging my head against a brick wall with ttc for a long time.  DH wants to stop; personally I think I'd go on forever if I could but realise that it has to come to an end at some point.  So this year is it; then we'll be done.  So I'm just dipping my toe in the water of what life without kids means.  It's a difficult one  :'(

    Offline Nosilab

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #26 on: 17/03/13, 22:41 »
    Hi Jo, it's a really difficult time isn't it  :(  I never thought I'd be over here on the 'moving on' board, but here I am dipping my toes in too.  Although we haven't made a definite decision re tx/no more tx I think it's probably something that'll be decided on over the next few months.  Sending hugs your way  ^hugme^

    Offline jo_11

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #27 on: 19/03/13, 07:16 »
    Thanks Nosilab;  ^hugme^ right back atcha ;)

    Your sig says your DH doesn't want any more tx; did he change his mind?

    Offline Nosilab

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #28 on: 19/03/13, 09:02 »
    Hi Jo

    No, sadly he hasn't changed his mind, not sure if he will.  We have a joint counselling session tomorrow to go over it all - don't know what the outcome will be.  Tricky times (to say the least)  :-\

     ^hugme^ xx

    Offline jo_11

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    Re: List of positives about living child- free
    « Reply #29 on: 19/03/13, 10:31 »
    Good luck for your session; hopefully DH will see that this has to be a joint decision.  x