* Author Topic: DE fet 2xbfn 3rd time lucky with triggered natural. medical problems discussed  (Read 42605 times)

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Offline mierran

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Ok. Here goes.

I was first on the list. Had to sign consents etc and discuss with anaesthetist re epidural or spinal . Obstetrician advised combinatiin of both in case any problems as spinal only lasts a couple of hours, and can be less full anaesthetic. 

Surgery went ok. I heard my daughter's first cry as she was born at 9.55am , and dp could be there and hold my hand. I got to cuddle her quite quickly,  and started her breastfeeding within an hour of her birth.
I lost 1500ml blood during surgery. Felt fine and sent to ward with dd post op. Had local anaesthetic infiltrate in abdominal muscles as an additional pain relief.

About 12.30 dp said he was tired ( we had had to be at hospital for 7.30am ) so he headed home.

I started to get sorer , and abdomen got more swollen. Initially I put it down to being normal post op with spinal wearing off but it didn't settlw and got worse and worse. Then I started seeing everything like it was underwater.
I told the midwives my whole abdomen was sore. They called a junior dr who arrived just as my bp crashed. It went to 68/32. I was bleeding into my abdomen.
I was rushed down to labour ward and straight into theatre, despite having eaten an hour or two earlier?  GA this time. I had 2 litres of blood in my abdomen, plus lost more during surgery. They couldn't find where I was bleeding from, despite getting laparoscope and using water to examine my abdomen for other problems that could be to blame. I was told I was 4 hours in theatre.

I came round in high dependency having had transfusion of 5 units of red blood cells, 4 units of plasma and maybe some platelets too. I have vague recollections of being asked as I went to theatre if I was ok with transfusions.  I told them I'd had previous blood and platelet transfusions which they looked relieved about.

2 days in high dependency with an abdominal drain in followed. I continued bf, tho dd needed some top ups as I wasn't producing enough milk due to being so ill. I told drs on fri I was worried as I hadn't passed any stools and with my underlying gut problems. I asked for micralax minienema and some fybogel but was told no. I lost 5 litres of blood, and needed another transfusion on the sat am. Sat pm feeling a bit better transferred to a single room in another ward.

By sat evening I was feeling more ill and sorer again. I had started vomiting when I ate anything sat pm. By 2qm I was bringing up stuff which tasted of faeces - really gross.

Turns out I had developed paralytic ileus. This is where your intestines stop working and don't push anything forward. It is excruciating.  I am no stranger to pain with my endo mut on the sunday afternoon if you had handed me a gun I would have shot myself just to make the pain stop. Because I can't use morphine, and am already on fentanyl, they just couldn't control it at all.

Monday things started moving. I was back in ward out of high dependency.  It was agony each time wind or anything was passed but at least I felt there was a possibility of the end of the agony.

Tuesday was the first day I felt anything like human. I expressed milk and,  as soon as I got the go ahead , started bf dd again ( I'd not been able to even try sun mon ).

I then had another fight as mw wanted to kečp topping up but I wanted to bf only. I spent lots of time cuddling dd who had been as good as gold while I was so ill and taken cup feeds. Once I started feeling better and bf she wasn't for even having expressed bm by cup feed. She's a stubborn wee soul.

After I got agreement to try 24 hours bf only and with mw threatening if she lost more weight we wouldn't get home etc she put on 10g.

My intestines were still really damaged, and I had profuse diarrhoea but they said I could go home on thursday. Bloods etc ok.

So home we went. Mw came out on the fri.
I asked about councilling.  I feel angry, cheated out of a normal experience yet again.  Dp mum and dad are all saying that I shouldn't think about any more tx. That I have survived this time but I may not next time, and is that fair on the 3 children I am lucky enough to have.
But I have 2 embryos frozen in athens. Can I live with myself if I don't give them a chance? But equally,  can I put myself through another week like the one I had, with that much pain etc
I keep swinging from one side to the other.

I have decided I won't decide anything for 6 months. I will take time to heal and enjoy dd.

So I have been home for a week.  Dd is gaining weight well and feeding great. The older two are fascinated with her. I am trying to make sure I spend some time with them tho usually I hace dd2 too as dp is still pretty useless with babies.

Intestines are improving tho still not normal.

I have reduced my bp meds to 10mg twice daily and hopefully will be able to stop them soon.

Am waiting to hear from psycologist to discuss everything,  and see if I can gain a measure of acceptance of what happened.

I am taking it easy to let my body, mind and spirit recover.

Babydust to all

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    Offline mierran

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    L is 4 weeks 5 days old

    She is still a wee grubber. She was 7lb 7oz 28/2
     8lbs 3 1/2 oz 7/3
    She is 9lb 2oz today

    Just as well she is feeding great as it mitigates some of the chocolate eating  :-[

    Twins still great with her. They gave her a bit or a massage today - closely supervised.

    Dp back at work now. Finding mornings more tiring as I can't send twins down to see him and get a bit more sleep. L still feeding lots overnight so I don't get much sleep, but worth it. And it is such a short period of time they are so young. And one is definitely easier than two.

    Still nothing from psychologist. Have a feeling by the time anything comes through it will be useless.  :-\

    X x


    Offline mierran

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    L is 2 years 8 months old.

    My twins are 7 years old.

    The psychologist got in touch eventually and we started working through things - my life up to infertility. But we never started on the infertility or pregnancy journeys as life intervened.

    My dad was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer when L was 6 months old. He died when she was 18 months old.

    At the same time as he was dying my ' dp'  decided that he was not getting enough attention. We largely live separate lives now.

    I always wanted more kids but had decided, as I was effectively a single Mum, and dealing with the grief over my Dad, that I would probably stick with the 3. I am blessed and so lucky to have them. But I decided to leave it in the universe's hands.
    I would do everything I could to stop the endometriosis returning but, if I was meant to have another baby, it would be in vain.

    I had the mirena coil fitted .I am still breastfeeding which kept the endo under control for about 2 years . However, it has come back, and I am now back on the painkillers. :(

    In the past I ahave found the only thing which helps my endo is breastfeeding . I have tried the pill/ prostap/ surgeries x lots . I have previously cut out dairy ( I got worse) and am gluten free as I get very ill when I eat it. I don't take caffeine .
    My consultant thinks there is endo hiding under my severe adhesions that noone can get at. With the other damage , an ovariohysterectomy is unlikely to be effective, and would cause a lot of problems ( like something else would have to plug up the large hole in my pelvic floor - a role currently taken by my uterus. )
    Let's put it this way - he doesn't want to operate again( and I had no improvement after the last 2 ops)


    So I am currently looking at my options.


    I have 2 frozen embryos in Athens, full siblings to L. Dp has agreed to my use of them .


    He needs to sign paperwork in front of a notary and get bloods taken for HIV etc.


    I will need to get this coil removed 2-3 months before transfer ( I want to leave it to the last minute as I don't know if it is helping a little bit).


    I have an appointment with my gynaecologist next Thursday to discuss things. I have to go back to work after my appointment so I don't think it is a good idea to get it removed then ( transfer will hopefully be feb/ march).


    So I think I will start a new diary under the DE section to see if dp follows through on his agreement or changes his mind, if I make it to transfer for a natural triggered FET ,


    And if I have another miracle.