* Author Topic: 2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty  (Read 1113 times)

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Offline EmWills

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Hi all

I'm not sure if I'm putting this in the right place so forgive me I just need to get my feelings out.

As the title says I'm on my 2nd cycle of icsi, I have a low amh of 4.7 so instead of menopur 375 this time I'm having gonal f 375 and prednisolone after ET. I'm on day 4 of a short cycle so 3 days of suprecur 2 of gonal f.

Basically last cycle I was excited, ready for the unknown and talking about life with a baby. Feeling glass half full if you know what I mean. This time I'm the total opposite, every injection hurts and I can't even think about egg collection it was so horrific the 1st time. Also I only had 6 mature eggs last time with only 2 making it to transfer on day 3, what if that happens again?! I want more than 2 I'd like some to freeze. I'm dreading Xmas as everyone has new babies and we will have just found out if this has worked or not. The only way to describe it is it feel glass half empty (even glass totally empty maybe) has anyone else felt like this? I feel so stupid I don't even want to talk about it with my friends in case they think I'm being ridiculous (they are all super fertile anyway either pregnant or have babies)

I am mega bloated already, put on 3lb!! Anyone else have this? Also really tired I'd say I only felt like this towards the end of stimms last time not at the start.

Em xx

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    Offline Chickabooo

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #1 on: 16/11/13, 20:17 »
    Hi Em,

    I just wanted to let you know that I was the same with my second ICSI cycle. I think we get our hopes up so much with the first cycle and its such a crushing blow when it doesn't work, that for me anyway, I think feeling negative was almost a protection if it didn't work again. I dare not get my hopes up. I was in tears at my embryo transfer and felt through the whole cycle it wasn't going to work.
    However, I have managed to completely turn that around for my up coming third cycle. By doing something new it has given me refreshed hope. I have added in fertility supplements and given up work to reduce my stress levels. Feeling like I am doing something different this time helps for me. Also having a back-up plan I feel helps me stay positive ( for us it is trying natural IVF next which works well for some women with low AMH).
    However, looking at your profile you have the biggest success factor on your side -age. There is absolutely no reason what so ever that this wont work for you. It's hard to stay positive sometimes. It's a tough tough journey and often feels very unfair. But when you hold that baby in your arms you will love them all the more for being so special.

    As for the feeling bloated and putting on a few pounds, I guess it just comes with the territory.  Probably feeling a bit low makes it all seem worse.

    I really hope you get your BFP soon.

    C x

    Offline EmWills

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #2 on: 18/11/13, 11:24 »
    Hi chickabooo

    Thanks so much for your reply. It means a lot to know I'm not alone. I feel guilty for feeling like this because I know I'm lucky to be able to have the opportunity to have the ivf (even if we are self funding).

    I wish you lots of luck for your upcoming treatment. When do you start? Are you doing short or long protocol?

    Em xx

    Offline Sexki11en

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #3 on: 3/12/13, 13:44 »
    Em, I debated whether to post on here, I don't want to seem insensitive after us cycling together before with different outcomes.

    All I want to say is that my third cycle when we switched to Gonal and Pred was the one that worked for us and my AMH is lower than yours and I'm older than you (bad eggs lol).  Please don't give up hope (and I used to HATE it when someone said that to me!)

    I also want to say all the best of luck honey - I'm really rooting for you  ^pray^

    SK x

    Offline PoppyB

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #4 on: 3/12/13, 13:57 »
    Hi Em,

    Just wanted to let you know this is my second cycle too and although I had a different outcome with my first to you; ultimately it failed. And reading what about how you feel about this cycle is exactly how I feel too...I keep thinking I need to be more positive but just can't seem to find any PMA at all!!

    Sending you a big hug and hoping things are better for you this time, I know we're cycling together so feel free to PM me if you're feeling rubbish

    Xx

    Offline EmWills

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #5 on: 3/12/13, 16:39 »
    Hey SK- so lovely to hear from you!! I can't believe you are 18 weeks! That's gone so fast. How have you been?

     I had gonal f this time and I'm on pred 10mg daily. I had 13 eggs this time, 2 fertilised so not the best but ive got 2 2day embryos on board otd is the 12th. Thanks so much for your message  ^hugme^ Xx

    Hey Poppy - so sorry about your mc it must have been awful  ^hugme^ Well done you for picking yourself up and going again. Sometimes PMA is much easier said than done ay?! Are you in the 2ww now? I have 9 days until I can get back to normal. Everyone keeps saying Xmas will keep you busy blah blah blah but tbh I feel as festive as I do in august lol until this 2ww is over I can't be merry and bright. Thank you so much for your message as silly as it seems I feel better knowing I'm not on my own. Same goes for you if you ever need someone to talk to or anything please pm me xx

    Offline Sexki11en

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    2nd cycle of icsi ..... Feeling glass half empty
    « Reply #6 on: 5/12/13, 12:21 »
    I'm really well thanks Em.  It's really flown by (once the awful first 12 weeks were out of the way) and I'm starting to believe it's real now.

    I feel so lucky every day. 

    I've been keeping an eye out for your posts and really do have everything crossed for you honey.

    SK x