* Author Topic: Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!  (Read 213050 times)

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Offline Michimoo

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Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
« Reply #100 on: 16/09/14, 06:11 »
So here I am in Athens!
DH arrived last weekend & started his new job on the Monday.
I arrived at 7pm Friday night & at 7:30pm I was viewing our first property!
I had spent all week at home on & off of the phone to Greek estate Agents arranging viewings for when I arrived.
DH had specifically told me that the weekend was to be filled with house viewings for us to decide on the Sunday night before he returned to the working week.
In total so far I have seen 17 different places. Big, small, maisonettes, with pool, without pool, apartments, furnished, non furnished etc. I've had roughly 3-4 hours sleep each night & awake around 3am with the properties whirring around my head!
Did we make a decision on Sunday? Did we Hell!
Am I still viewing properties myself whilst DH is at work? Yep I sure am!
Am I SICK to the back teeth with looking? You better believe it!
Are we any closer to making a decision? Not a chance!

Off I trott again this morning to view 3 more!

But I also have my appointment with Penny this afternoon.
She has the results of the miscarriage as I faxed them over before I left the UK.
I'm not going to mention the natural ivf etc. My plan is to let her babble away first, see what she recommends off of her own back, then I will mention ARGC.
Timings will also be a big issue as DH may have to go away with work in October, which was when I wanted to cycle again. So we will see what she says.

Right must get up & look at houses!
Oh & I'm as pasty as they come with huge black circles under my eyes. I've had no sun as I've been in & out of Estate Agents cars & then doing viewings & the lack of sleep for the last few days has made me look terrible!
I'm gonna have to whack a load of slap on today to make myself look slightly presentable.
But how refreshing to know that there will be no scans, foo foo complimenting or injections this visit. :)


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    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #101 on: 19/09/14, 08:14 »
    Feeling quite emotional this morning as I sit by the pool alone with my thoughts.
    DH has gone to work & I leave Greece this evening.

    I'm feeling like another year is going to pass with no hope of a baby. This move has now become our adventure / our focus & the baby is taking a huge back seat. Granted we will try natrually but I think that miracle has passed.

    Everyone & I mean EVERYONE is pregnant or had a newborn & I'm still sitting on the shelf gathering dust.

    I feel like the boring old dolly that sits & watches whilst all the other toys get played with & play together. Propped up with the painted on smile & wide eyes glaring back at everyone watching the world go by around her.
    Im of no interest anymore because I'm no longer the same, I don't fit in. So here I just sit smiling back at the world but with my heart breaking inside.

    There will be no more ivf for us this year as DH will be jetting around the globe with work until Jan. Penny is suggesting maybe a couple of IUI's due to our natrual miracle conception. How she thinks that'll help I don't know!

    So all in all I feel like I'm fighting for this baby on my own now.

    Penny thinks the natrual route is the option, DH is focused on work & doesn't even want to think about the clinic or ttc. My parents want me to stop the fertility drugs all together & everyone is excited to get cheap hols to Greece!
    I on the other hand am still desperate for a child & it's breaking my heart being a broken doll without a band aid.

    We have found a wonderful apartment & although I'm being strong I may just have to have a little break down when I get home tonight as the realisation of a different adventure which is now taking priority over what I truly desire  has just hit me.
    x

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #102 on: 19/09/14, 23:07 »
    As is the way with my diary it has it's ups & downs.
    So ..... In Greece it's very common to have really incy wincy tiny lifts. Fit more than 3 people in & it's quite cuddly! But they also have no second door dividing you from the different floors. Therefore you need to stand well away from the doors as the floors pass by & you can see the dividing floors. ( if that makes sense?) there are doors to each floor that when you reach the floor you want you have to wait until you hear a click to know its in the right place, then you can open the door.

    Well ........ I packed & called for the concierge to take my bag - no answer. I called main reception - no answer. As my booked taxi was arriving I had to take the case myself. Which was fine but it just meant me + large suitcase + small cabin suitcase + large handbag all squeezing in the lift at once. I finally shuffled in & closed the door making sure to stand back from the doors. The lift went down one floor & then jolted. It came to a complete stop in between two floors!!
    Neither the top or bottom door would open as they hadn't clicked into place. The alarm button didn't work. NONE of the buttons worked!
    Then all the lights went out!!

    I'm now stuck in a tiny lift with hardly any room between 2 floors with no air conditioning in complete & utter darkness alone! I am freaking.
    I start banging on the door .... "Hello?" "Hello?" "I'm stuck in the lift!"
    Then I heard "hello?"
    I said "I'm in the dark & stuck in the lift".
    They said very calmly "ok we will get an engineer!"
    WTF??
    My palms started sweating I felt the lift close in & my hands were trembling. I am actually living one of my nightmares.
    I was patting in the dark for my phone then all of a sudden the lift moved to the next floor. Thank God for that!
    There was a man in shorts who asked if I was ok. The bloke from reception who didn't batter an eyelid about what had just happened and an American girl that said "oh I'm sorry it was my fault I kept pulling on the door thinking the door was stuck & that must've stopped the lift!

    Well, if only I'd of stayed there another day. I would've waited for the stupid bint to walk in the lift & I would've yanked at the door handle to see how she liked it!  ;D

    But don't worry I've described her to DH. ;)

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #103 on: 26/09/14, 07:55 »
    So back home with my pussy cats & my own thoughts.
    Do I feel hard done by? Yes
    Do I just want this baby thing sorted? Yes
    Maybe I should just go for DE & be done with it? No
    Do I need a different focus for this year & take it as a complete write off? Maybe.

    So what have I done since I've been back??? .......

    Well my SIL was rushed into hospital on Tues night I got there at 9pm & we didn't get out till 5am!
    Pooped was an understatement!

    Desperately trying to diet & lose the weight I gained in Athens. Jeez I was only there for a week & put on 1/2 a stone. What the *%#! will I be like living there?
    I did find an AMAZING organic food restaurant on the last night though. Think this may become my new haunt.

    Spoke to my Director friend who is currently shooting an independant film. This has now given him the buzz to go out & make more & he said [email protected][email protected]k$ we've been talking about yours for years. Let's just go & do it?
    On one hand I'm excited & it will give me something to focus on.
    On the other hand eerm I'm going to be in Greece???!!!

    Hmmmm not sure what to do really. But in the meantime I'll go with the flow & see what happens.
    It would be wonderful to get back to my acting again. Although IVF has certainly taken it's toll on my face. Looking at pictures from 4 years ago till now, I've aged!
    Or I must've had one hell of a funny life - cause these laughter lines are deep baby!  :o

    I got in touch with a local minor celeb on social media who I may be meeting next week to talk about a potential cameo/ walk on in my film. So I am definately being pro active about it.
    All he can say is No I guess. If he says Yes then maybe we need to make this happen?

    Just so you ladies know my film is a total chick flick.
    Think sliding doors meets Bridget jones & you've got the idea.  ;)

    Right must dash it's waxing day!  :o  *ouch*

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #104 on: 29/09/14, 14:06 »
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #105 on: 29/09/14, 14:43 »
    And breathe! ...............................
    Ok so let's start a few days ago.

    I've booked my flight back out to Greece for this weekend as period due this Sunday. (Yesterday)
    I'm taking it into my hands to go to the clinic on day 8 & have my scan with the hope of doing an iui this month. I've emailed Serum & got a time & I'll be over for just 2 weeks.
    The flight tickets will be non cancellable so I decided to do a pee stick prior to payment on a first response to make sure I wasn't pg. Of course a HUGE BFN on day 26 so I can go ahead & book.
    DH then decides to tell me that he won't be around for the second week so I will be on my own as he has to travel with work?! Oh great!

    So with this knowledge, This weekend I decided to get very drunk on 2 bottles of red wine. Had sushi & Chinese all weekend. Ordered TOM YAM soup to try & bring on the period with the spices & finished off my chocolate stash.
    I had another glass of wine last night & I was off to acupuncture today to get him to start my period.

    I tested again this morning ( day 29) & saw an evaporation line. It's so faint you have to hold it up to the light.
    It started to niggle me so I decided to test with a clear blue digital I had & it said 1-2 wks pregnant.
    What the actual f***??!!??!!??!!??!!

    I peed on another first response & the line is so faint you can hardly see it. So this is either a chemical or this pg is doomed.

    Totally messed up Greece now & I really don't want to miscarry again. I'm off to ARGC tomorrow morning to get my bloods drawn. Then I will know either way.

    Just when I thought I had a plan!!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #106 on: 30/09/14, 05:10 »
    Nice early start for me this morning. Off I trott to London Town. Gonna drive so I can have a kip in the car if I fancy whilst I wait for the results.
    Here we go ...... Back on the worlds longest roller coaster .........

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #107 on: 30/09/14, 11:19 »
    Hcg level 62  :o Now what do I do?

    Sitting in my car outside ARGC waiting for Penny to call back.  :-\

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #108 on: 30/09/14, 22:32 »
    Pregnyl (rescue shot) taken. Bloods again tomorrow. Obviously the result will be raised due to the shot but not sure by how much you need to allow?

    Another 5am alarm for me!  :(

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #109 on: 1/10/14, 10:58 »
    Bad news.
    Hcg 104
    Pregnyl shot needs to allow for 40 - 60
    Therefore it's all pregnyl & baby hasn't moved.

    Oh the joys of another miscarriage!