* Author Topic: Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!  (Read 213083 times)

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Offline Michimoo

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Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
« Reply #130 on: 18/10/14, 08:58 »
Natrually conceived twins!!! That would explain the cramps.

No HB in either. Completely empty sacs.

Penny & Dr Meridis says to wait another week.

WTF??

Two babies & not a heartbeat in either!!

This is just so unfair. I can't believe how unlucky I am.

I'm not crying because I'm in limbo land again.

I'm completely pi$$ed off!

Back home to pack. Very tempted to get drunk on the plane back tonight.

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    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #131 on: 18/10/14, 13:13 »
    Ok so just got a call from Penny.
    HCG - 8000
    Progrsterone - 40

    She wants me to rush out & start taking 40mg steriods!!

    Just in case it's immunological my dear!

    Steriods really? After all the problems I had last time?

    Also that's not going to miraculously create a baby or babies from thin air is it?

    I know I might sound pessimistic but come on. I'm an intellectual woman with far too much knowledge. I just don't want to prolong this agony any longer than I have to.

    Thank God I booked the GP for Monday morning.

    I'm so frustrated right now.  ^tantrum^ ^tantrum^ ^tantrum^ ^tantrum^

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #132 on: 19/10/14, 08:43 »
    So back home lying in bed with one of the worst nights sleep for a while. I just kept dreaming of scans, blood tests, hospitals, pregnant women, happy couples with toddlers ...... Aaaaahhhh.

    I realised that yesterday should've been a day that women are overjoyed with. Going for a scan & finding out its twins! How lovely, how wonderful, ready made family.
    But No! I get told ooooh look it's twins, oh sorry they're both dead!
    Come back in a week just to make sure.
    So for a week just walk round with 2 dead babies inside you with the knowledge that we'll be booking you in for a D&C in 2 weeks. Joy!

    I just want to get back to my life. I'm a stone heavier. I want to go back to my fitness classes. I still feel like poop from this cold which had now turned into a chesty cough.
    I want to start taking drugs to alleviate this illness.

    There's a fitness event coming up 2nd week of Nov that I've paid for & been looking forward to since July! I want to be well enough to go to that. Not lying around recovering from a miscarriage or waiting for one to happen.

    I need to move on.
    Tbh it's the only way I'm going to be able to deal with this.

    I told DH the news yesterday & asked how he felt about it.
    His answer was; "well there's nothing we can do so we just have to get on with it don't we?"  :'(
    What do you mean WE? I've got to have the bloody D&C & go through it again. Not you!!!
     ^tantrum^ ^furios^

    I'm trying to google to see if HB's can miraculously appear? Not too hopeful.

    Thank God I'm home now though.
    I think the biscuit/chocolate cupboard is going to be raided all day today before the diet starts next week.

    Oh & no I didn't have my wine on the plane. I was a good girl. ;)
    But I'm expecting to be very drunk in the next few weeks.

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #133 on: 19/10/14, 19:59 »
    Drs in the morning & hoping I get sent straight to the EPU for a scan. I remember last time I was there for 4 hours to be told to come back in a week.
    Strong cramping again tonight.
    Would like to put a hot water bottle on my tummy or have a long hot soaky bath but know I can't at the moment.
    I'm hoping to be a bit clearer by tomorrow lunchtime.
     ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^

    What I have done is checked my hcg levels from last time & I only got as high as 3200 this time I'm at 8000. At 3200 I had a heartbeat. It's all Very strange?

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #134 on: 20/10/14, 04:29 »
    4am - awake. Dreading today's news.

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #135 on: 21/10/14, 08:02 »
    Off to EPU this morning to find out the ultimate outcome of this pregnancy.
    My Dr looked at me as if I was a wounded puppy yesterday.
    Apparently a twin blighted ovum is extremely rare & wait for it ................. "Unlucky"!

    Jeez am I the unluckiest lady in the world? I was told triploidy was "unlucky".

    Googling it tells me 2% of women miscarry the second - that's "unlucky" too!

    I guess 6 failed ivfs is "unlucky"?

    Still being classed as unexplained is "unlucky" yeah?

    So I'm just really, really "unlucky"? Well great and again there's nothing I can do to change that!

    Flipping Eck I salute Magpies, don't cross on the stairs, never walk under ladders, never walk on 3 drains. Maybe I should pack in my superstitions because it seems that regardless I'm still one seriously "unlucky" cow!

    There is still that flutter inside my heart that is hoping a miracle has happened & the heartbeats will miraculously appear today.

    My GP was honest with me & advised that hcg of 8000 at this stage was extremely low for this far along, even for just a single pregnancy, let alone two. She said I will probably just natrually miscarry on my own in the coming weeks.

    Guess I should prepare myself for bad news today then. But until it's definately given to me I still feel there's hope. I maybe mad but what else am I meant to do? I'm still mentally fighting for these two little blobs of joy.

    Come on babies??!


    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #136 on: 21/10/14, 11:14 »
    Siting in the waiting room with a load of teenage Mums to be who are all laughing & joking with their parents.
    I look like the old bird in the waiting room. Practically as old as their Mothers.
    Think I'll be here for a while. Looking like 3 hours min.
    This place is horrible!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #137 on: 21/10/14, 12:52 »
    Still in EPU. Now waiting to see the Dr.
    Oh it gets better -----
    2 large empty sacs & one smaller empty sac!

    Triplets!!!
    3 babies who haven't made it!
    What?

    I started laughing whilst dildo cam was up me, in utter disbelief!

    Seriously though, you couldn't write this $h1t cause no one would flipping believe it.
    They would say it's too far fetched!
     ^idiot^ ^idiot^

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #138 on: 21/10/14, 14:55 »
    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

    Been told to come back in 10 days because I'm NOT bleeding!!

    FFS!

    They've told me there are no yolk sacs in the gestational sacs.
    They scanned me for ages & the sonographer told me they were empty!

    I DONT WANT TO STRING THIS OUT ANY LONGER!!

    Yes I am shouting.

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #139 on: 22/10/14, 09:55 »
    I just don't feel well. I can't describe it.
    I feel like my blood is being poisoned by these three empty sacs growing inside me.
    It's like an alien form feeding off me internally & flowing through my body.
    I've woken up this morning feeling quite peculiar.
    I don't have any physical symptoms but I just feel like my skin is crawling. I have no energy & feel quite lethargic.
    Maybe it's the shock. The disbelief of what I've been told. Maybe it's just all in my head but I just don't feel right.

    I can't keep going for 10 more days!

    I need this resolved & cleansed.

    My acupuncturist told me they can't make babies appear & doesn't understand why I'm not being offered a medical managed miscarriage now?

    I've just booked a private scan in 3 days time.
    I just need to get a clearer picture & understand what's going on?
    Then my acting skills will have to be used to get EPU to scan me sooner than flipping Halloween!
    Trick or Treat?