* Author Topic: Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!  (Read 213084 times)

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Offline Michimoo

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Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
« Reply #20 on: 5/12/13, 19:48 »
An overwhelming feeling of utter doom, despair & utter negativity has hit me.
From what has been a horrific year & nearly 5 days since my last cyclacur tablet all AF cramps have now disappeared. Why can't something just go the right way for once?
I can't believe this is happening. Totally lost for words.
I was semi convinced that AF would start tonight at the latest what with waking up to cramps. However as the day has gone on they have disappeared & I now don't feel a thing.
Why oh why, did I mess with my perfect 28 day cycle?
Why oh why, can't something, just anything go right for me?
Why oh why, do I have to have a DH that works 28 days away every other month?
Why oh why, do I just have to be the good old trooper that just keeps going?
Why oh why, does trying to be healthy & exercising & losing weight to try & put my body in the best possible state for IVF does it back fire?
Why oh why, is it happening to me????!!!!!
 :(

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    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #21 on: 7/12/13, 21:33 »
    Right, well here I am again & this may well be a long post so please bear with me!

    Woke up to AF on Friday morning. Of course I emailed Penny immediately. I told her that as DH is away then Brad Pitt must've come to me in the night & given me an Orgasm whilst I was asleep & i was disappointed as I'd slept through the whole thing. She replied with LOL & told me to hold off doing anything until I'd had the scan in the afternoon to make sure there were no cyst etc.

    Then I was worrying that maybe I have a cyst & that could be why AF was late? That was something I hadn't even considered before!

    Went off to have my waxing done. I decided to use a new beauty salon as the last one ripped the living bejesus out of my whit whoo! So much so I had to go to the GP & get some cream to take the swelling down. It looked like I was harvesting another human being between my legs & the red glow coming out of my knickers was like a warning beacon. Yeah a warning beacon to NEVER go to that Salon again! Anyway this women was very quick & easy. So will deffo use her in the future. And no third person growing between my legs this time so alls good!

    Drove to a clinic in the afternoon which was next to Wexham Park hospital in Slough. I have to say they were fab. Don't think I've ever had such an in depth AFC before. She measured my lining, counted every follicle, measured each follicle, measured my ovaries, wrote a report whilst in sat I the waiting room, printed off a load of scan photos. All for 120. She does anytime of the day or night 7 days a week. She only lives 15 mins from the clinic & can scan whenever you need last minute.  http://www.womenscanclinic.com/index.php

    Whilst I was in the waiting room I emailed Penny the results & by the time I'd got home 40 mins later she told me to start injecting.

    Here we go again, I'm back on it.

    I don't think injecting yourself ever gets any easier does it? No matter how many times you have done it in the past, your body still fights that hand that is going towards your belly with a needle. I'm not sure I've mastered the art of not bruising yourself. Tonight I got a little bit of a bleeder & I found it difficult for the Clexane to go in.

    DH & I will have to change our flight home now as basing it on last time we would have ET on the same day we fly & our flight is at lunchtime. However as DH booked the flight & he currently has no communication on the rig I can't speak to him to get all the details I need, so will be calling BA in the morning to see if they can do anything. I may just get turned away but it's worth a try.

    On another sitcom note I have a kitten who is 6 months old who likes to play fetch. She picks things up in her mouth & brings them to you to throw. So cute .... Or so I thought.

    Well the ground could've opened up & swallowed me today when my friend (male) came over. We were sitting there chatting in my living room & the kitten trotted upstairs. Didn't think much of it until the kitten came bounding down the stairs & dropped a Super Plus tampax at my feet!  :o
    She had actually gone inside the box tipped it up & taken out a tampax!

    Hasten to add, we didn't play fetch!!

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    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #22 on: 10/12/13, 16:10 »
    As you can imagine the last couple of days have been manic & I have been running around at 100 mph.
    I have just sat down to a well earned cup of tea & thought I would take this opportunity to update my diary on all the shenanigans.
    So after spending 56 mins on the phone to BA yesterday morning I have finally changed my flights.
    DH hasn't had any communication on the oil rig for 2 days so I can't tell him what's going on. I'm just  ^pray^ that the woman on the phone hasn't messed up our flights as she didn't really have a clue what she was doing  ^idiot^. She kept putting me on hold for "just 2 minutes please" which ended up being about 10 each time. She was apologetic at the end of the call but I guess she's not paying the phone bill. Maybe I'll invoice them in Jan? Hmmmmmmmmm.

    I called Greece yesterday as they didn't seem to be answering my email for an urgent prescription which I had sent on Sat. With it now being midday on Monday I was a little frustrated so decided to call them. They were very polite & funnily enough I had the prescription in my inbox within 5 mins. They did tell me that "No, Michelle! It's not bikini weather" we will see you on Thursday with your jumper on. Damn it!  ;D
    So I am now packing & I have to say I have never packed for a winter holiday before. (you can kindda tell.) I'm going to have to sit on my suitcase to close it. Eek!
    Thank God DH isn't here or he would flip his lid & once all my clothes are in Greece he can't say a thing!  ;D

    Just spent the last hour turning the house upside down trying to find my earphones. Now my tidy house looks like a bomb has hit it. It's going to take me ages to sort everything out again. Oh yeah & they'd fallen down the back of the chest of drawers I've just pulled apart & tipped out on my bedroom floor! Typical eh?

    I'm actually just looking forward to getting to the Hotel in Greece & relaxing.
    It's been so stressful what with my AF being delayed, changing flights, Cancer all clear last month, getting all Xmas presses wrapped & sorted in Nov etc
    I'll be breathing a massive sigh of relief once I'm in that hotel room.
    Obviously I'm apprehensive about flying on my own with 2 huge suitcases. But once I'm in the hotel room & unpacking I can focus on the next stage & actually what I'm doing again!
    Am I doing this all again? Really?
    In all this madness I think I've forgot to realise what I'm actually up to!!  :o
     ^scared^ ^scared^ ^scared^

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #23 on: 10/12/13, 19:06 »
    Wow! So one thing has gone in my favour this cycle. I had my FSH checked on day 1 & it's the lowest it has been in 3 years of having it tested!

    FSH - 6.8
    LH - 2.7

    I'm gob smacked ! In a good way.

    Up your  ^shake^ Mr Acupuncturist my diet made my hormone levels better!  ;)

    Lets hope this is the start of the good news.  ^pray^ ^pray^

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #24 on: 11/12/13, 06:13 »
    It's 6 am & I'm wide awake. Feeling a little apprehensive about this trip. Not 100% happy about going on my own. I'm sure I've forgotten to pack something!
    Must not forget my Neupogen ...... ( it's obviously still in the fridge at the moment )
    Might just get up & potter about for a bit. Don't think I'm really going to go back to sleep now. I'm too wired.

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #25 on: 11/12/13, 23:05 »
    Well where do I begin?
    This has to be the travel disaster day from Hell!
    Get to Heathrow & check both bags in. Yes I did have to jump on mine to shut it.
    I watched as my bags went merrily off down the carousel & as I was handed my passport & bording pass back I was told there was a 2 hour delay due to the Fog! WTF???
    All my drugs are in my bag i've just checked in. Oh sorry madam, but things are changing hourly & if the fog lifts it could be on time. So I guess I'll be injecting at Athens airport then rather than the hotel room. Oh well! Deep joy!
    So I go off, through passport control & security & get myself some breakfast. I then look up at the board to see that there is now a 4 hour delay!!!!!!
    This is a BIG problem as this means I would have to inject on the plane & I have no drugs at all!
    I spoke to a really sympathetic & helpful BA lady who marked my bags as red & was getting them put back round the system. I could then take out what I needed & then recheck them in.

    However little did I know that this meant going round the back way, coming off with all the arrivals. Going through passport control as if I'd just arrived in Heathrow, which meant a massive queue . Then I had to go to carousel 8 & wait for my 2 bags. I waited & waited until I was starting to go out of my mind with panic.
    I grabbed another BA person & they called through for me. Then hooray the bags turned up.
    I took the drugs I needed out & then put my bags back on a trolley to take back through. The friendly BA man said he would take it round the back way for me, so not to worry.
    So he took the trolley & promised that my bags were in safe hands.
    I then had to come out of arrivals, go back upstairs to departures & go back through passport control. But oh no! Because I'd already gone through it once, they wouldn't let me through again on the same ticket. So I had to go back to check in for them to reissue me with a new dummy ticket, so I could go back through passport control again.  ^idiot^

    This time however I had some drugs & needles on me. Yes you've guessed it. I got stopped at security & my whole bag had to be checked. Even though I'd declared it before it went through the X-ray machine. *sigh*  ::)

    Once I'd got through I went to have some lunch & then thought I'd check to see if my bags had returned to the aircraft. I found the same woman who helped me originally & she made a phone call. To find out ....... they had now both been put into STORAGE!!! Also the flight had now been pulled in early again & we were boarding in an hour! She asked for them to be put on the flight but said she wasn't convinced that the person who she spoke to understood, so can I come back to her in 20 mins. I went back 20 mins later to find that they were still in storage & the next person she spoke to understood. (However by this stage I was losing the will to live & also losing faith in BA actually having my bags at all!)

    The gate got called so I marched up there & asked them to check my bags. Without going on & on basically what happened next was the flight got delayed again back to the original delayed time. However in the next 2 hours I got them to make numerous calls about my bags which still weren't near the aircraft. Just as we are about to board they tell me that 1 bag is on but the other is missing! WTF? Which bag it was they couldn't tell me. 

    By now I am ready to either explode or have a breakdown. They start boarding the flight & asked me to board last so they can keep an eye on the bag. By this stage I couldn't hold it in any longer & I broke down! The customer service woman told me it'll be ok. I explained that there was 2,000 worth of IVF drugs in bag & I couldn't understand why when both bags were together then why is only one on the plane?

    I did throw the comment in that I may decide not to fly without my bag so they'd have to unload the other one. Oh & then she made a call to someone else. I waited & waited. Dabbing my damp face with a scraggy tissue. Low & behold they call her back & have now loaded my other bag!! Hmmmm interesting. Not sure if it was the tears or the threat of not boarding which swayed it?

    I board the plane, still with the apprehension that neither bag is on the plane & we begin the flight.

    I get chatting to the lovely man next to me for the entire flight. He was on his way to Athens to audit a 100million pound yacht for 2 days!  :o He was in his late 60's & very well spoken. He asked if I was going to Athens for business or pleasure. I explained it was IVF & I may well need to inject at my seat. He told me he'd hold up a blanket to shield me if needed. Bless him.

    When it came time to inject he got my carry on case down. I sat at my seat to inject. As I went to put the top back on the needle it bent & stabbed my thumb. Oh then because I'm on clexane blood started oosing out the top of my thumb all over my table. My new friend called the stewardess & they got me a plaster.

    Then my cold bag with the Neupogen had started melting & water was pouring all over my lap from the cool bag ! My new friend helped me mop that up too.

    Anyway we eventually landed & my friend gave me his card to keep in contact & let him know how things go. I was sitting next to a SIR!! Sir Michael to be precise.
     :o who knew!

    I finally got my bags. After watching everyone else's go round. I had reserved myself to the fact that they weren't going to turn up. But I was past caring by then.

    I got in a cab & OMG the taxi driver looked like an axe murder. He grunted when I told him where I wanted to go. He had a thin face with a large hooked nose. He had a long, unkept, trampesque beard. His beany hat was pulled all the way down to the top of his eyebrows. He was hunched over the steering wheel with his coat sleeves pulled down to his knuckles which were tightly wrapped round the steering wheel. I did consider during the journey that I could die tonight. That would just top my day.

    He did take me to my hotel but did stitch me up on the cab fare. I was too tired to argue & just paid it.

    Got checked in & they'd given me 2 single beds pushed together. So I complained & got moved to a double bedded room.

    I'm now unpacked & typing this in bed after a warm shower. It's 1am & I'm not tired as my brain is buzzing. Feeling a bit wired.
    But I'm here.
    What a day!

     ???

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #26 on: 12/12/13, 20:45 »
    Wow! Athens is flipping cold! I've realised that even though I packed jumpers & had to sit on my suitcase to close it. I've not exactly packed the right sort of jumpers. More Spring like loosely knitted jumpers that casually hang off one shoulder.  ^idiot^ yes you are an utter nincompoop.
    Also left my lovely North Face jacket at home & boy do I need it!
    Mission tomorrow (after scan & intralipids) GO BUY A COAT!

    As my Drama life continues DH is now stuck on the rig in Brazil! The weather was so bad today that the helicopter was not able to fly. So he is now stranded with the hope he flies tomorrow? It's just a case of watch this space. Obviously I want him to be safe, but I would rather he was on dry land. :( I do hate his job. It's so dangerous that I'm never truly happy until he's back in the UK.

    Spent most of today with a fellow FF'er who has EC tomorrow. Therefore today was her day off & she's nil by mouth by 10pm.
    Just been out to dinner with her & you would've thought I was the one who was nil by mouth by 10pm as I ate 5 courses! I was stuffing all that food in as if it was my last supper! I've just had to roll back to my hotel.

    Hopefully I'll get a better nights sleep than last night as after all that drama with travelling I ended up only getting 4 hours of shut eye.
    Just taken a melatonin in the hope that gives me some decent sleep.

    Night all ....... love Roley Poley!  ;D

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #27 on: 13/12/13, 04:14 »
    So much for a good nights sleep on melatonin! I've been awake since 5am  ^idiot^


    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #28 on: 13/12/13, 15:35 »
    Well I didn't end up going back to sleep.

    I eventually got up & read my emails. Saw one from DH saying he was still stuck on the rig & couldn't get hold of BA to change his flights so could I try? Unfortunately the lines didn't open until 9:30am Greek time.  Went down had breakie, came back to the room & called the BA international number from my mobile. It went straight into an automated service & asked me hold. There I was listening to the music & the call got disconnected. I tried again! Happy music then boom, dial tone! I repeated this cycle about 20 times in my melatonin, sleepy, insomnia, daze. Then I realised every time I connect I'm paying 50p!! Well there goes a tenner!
    I gave up & mailed DH back to let him know I tried but couldn't sort it my end.

    I casually walked to the taxi rank as now I was running late for my scan. The intention had been to do the 30 min walk to Serum for my daily exercise routine. Definitely was trying to burn off those 5 courses from last night. Oh well, it's the thought that counts right?

    Guess what? .......... I get stalker taxi, weirdo man from the airport! What are the chances of that? I'm sitting in the back of the cab holding in my girly giggles. I'm just gob smacked its the creepy child snatcher from Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang again!
    To be fair I didn't feel as intimidated by him this time & I even think he may have washed his beard since we last met?  ;D

    Get to the clinic & get taken up for scan & intralipids. Then went off for coffee with another FF'er. Gossiped for an hour then parted ways & I decided to go shopping for a coat.

    Off I trott to the shopping district & spend the next 2 hours just mooching.
    Finally found a cheap puffer body warmer which I know I will use at home. Oh & there just happened to be a nice jumper in the shop too. Well it would be rude not to eh? If my DH asks I've had it for ages ok?  ;)
    He's lucky cause I nearly bought a matching jumper in another colour. But I thought that may be a bit obvious.

    Get back to the hotel & move rooms for the third time! I buttered up the man on reception & said I'd like an acropolis view. So he's kindly reserved the last one & I re packed & moved.
    The bed isn't as big, but I'm not going to complain, I'm just hoping I definitely cleared everything out of the other room now. Specifically all my drugs?

    Just sat down & it's 5pm. Realised I haven't eaten since breakfast! Just shoved 2 protein bars down my throat! Gross but had to be done for egg quality. No veg for lunch so looks like I will have to make up for that daily intake at this evenings meal.

    Time for a good old PG tips decaf cup of tea now me thinks?






    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #29 on: 14/12/13, 02:03 »
    This bed is so uncomfortable! I'm seriously considering turning this mahoosive mattress round myself! Just put the kettle on its 4am. My back is killing me. :(