Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!

[Michimoo]

Just turned the mattress round. That was an experience!    I did toy with the idea to call reception but then couldn't be bothered to get dressed so I've done it on my own.

Lets see if this works?
May try to catch another hours shut eye.

[FertilityFriends]

[Michimoo]

Feeling really down about my stupid body.
It's day 9 of stims & still only 2 follicles on the left hand side.

My FSH was amazing this month I had hoped for a better cycle.

On day 1 AFC they could see 5 follies on the left. As I'm on high stims, where have the other 3 popped off to?

Gutted. Not sure what else I can do with only 3 days left. I can't up the drug dose cause in on the maximum.

Penny told me off for worrying & told me to have a glass of wine! (Really do things differently in Greece)

Just want DH here. Haven't seen him in over a month & it's all just weighing in my shoulders.
Wish I could just go to the pool & have a swim. But can't risk twisting my ovaries.

Just been moping in my room all afternoon feeling sorry for myself. Don't have the motivation to get off my butt & do anything today.

[Michimoo]

Woken up for the third day running with a sore throat.

It seems to disappear during the day but its just when I wake.

I'm shoving Vit C tablets down my neck but it doesn't want to budge.

Don't dare email Penny again with the telling off I got yesterday.

I'm on steroids & Neupogen & had intralipids 2 days ago. Surely it can't be an immune reaction? Hey if it is I'm not sure what to do?

DH arrived late last night after a delayed flight.
He's currently sleeping heavily on his side of the bed. Phew! At least that means he didn't get the dodgy spring in the mattress.
 

[Michimoo]

This sore throat has got worse. Hmmmmm. Not feeling 100% today.

Been for a walk round Athens for a couple of hours with DH. Finally got back to the hotel & then slept for 1hr & half as I just felt yuck! Was feeling queasy & just generally blah!
After the sleep now feeling a bit more human once again.

I've been dosing up on Vit C under Penny's recommendations to then find out that this apparently isn't that great to do! Fan - bloody - tastic.

Now I'm worried I'm ruining my egg quality.
I guess there is nothing I can do now. What's done is done.
I'm hoping though that as vitamins etc take 3 months to affect egg quality then anything I'm taking at the moment isn't going to have that much of a detrimental effect? 

Working things out I only have 2 days left of Stims. Just had a protein bar as my lunch as I really don't fancy shoving any food down my throat. Had a glass of milk too.

I've just googled my Knight in shinning armour from the plane & let's just say it looks like he knows the Queen quite well!    wowzers!

[Michimoo]

Well went to the clinic for bloods, scan & acupuncture. Met with 2 lovely FF ladies for coffee first.
It's amazing how you meet people on this journey & after only chatting for an hour you feel like you are old friends!

Guess its the fact that I don't talk about our infertility at home as I'm normally the one who sorts everyone else's issues out.

I'm the one they all come running to when they have any issues. I'm the one with the good advice who counsels them all any time of day or night.
Who counsels me? Noone. Tbh I don't bother telling them as I don't think they'll be bothered anyway.
Even my own brother doesn't have a clue we have fertility problems.
I'm just seen as that lucky cow who drives nice cars, has a big house, wears nice clothes & goes on exotic holidays. Oh if only they knew.
I would swap our life in a heartbeat to have no sleep & a room full of stinky nappies. *sigh*

Anyway I digress ...........

The clinic seemed quite busy today. So much so my appointment was quite late. The midwife couldn't get blood out of me today so I had to be stabbed in both arms.

The scan was interesting. Still a lazy left ovary & Penny said "just two there"! Umm actually I think I can see 3? " hmmmmm maybe?" She said.

I've decided there isn't really anything I can do now as trigger shot is now scheduled for this evening.

But Penny was in good spirits today & we were laughing & joking whilst I was being scanned & before I hopped down off of the bed she pointed to my "whit woo" & told me that my DH was a very lucky man. You are beautiful! 

Ok, now I'm guessing that's a compliment from someone who sees them all the time.
But WTF do you say to that with your legs a kimber & another woman smiling at your bits? 

I hopped down & said I will let my DH know!
 

Note to self: I must go back to that beautician!

Anyway I got dressed & I mentioned my sore throat & was promptly jabbed in the bum with a dexamethasone injection. *ouchie*

Then had acupuncture & given my instructions for triggering tonight.

Just triggered & even though this is my 6th time of doing it the panic that takes over your body is indescribable.
Am I doing it right?
Have I drawn up enough liquid?
$H1t I just squirted it up the wall trying to get out the air bubbles!
Have I done it bang in the time I needed to?
I was just meant to do it then wasn't I?

Anyway all done & I'm now celebrating with a box of cookies & decaf tea.

[Michimoo]

So I'm now on my 20 min countdown until I am nil by mouth. Just having my last cup of tea & cookies ( which have obviously been dunked ).

I've drawn a hot bath which I will slip into after my tea just to give my follies one last boost of warmth to wake up any slow ones.

I'm buzzing on the massive steriod dose I've had injected in my derrière for the last 2 days & I swear my face has blown up too. Don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight but at least I know I'll be having a decent kip tomorrow morning.

So EC booked for 9am  which will be 7am UK time. Any of my diary readers want to give me eggy dances at 7am GMT would be much appreciated. Need all the help I can I think. Positive vibes would be fab please, wherever you are. 

I have a lucky wish number in my head which I did mention to Penny & was given a funny screwed up face in response!
I'm definitely sure there are eggs there which she missed, I just hope the Dr doesn't take her word for things & he has a good rummage around.

I did read back at my last ARGC cycle where they said I had a lazy left & they ended up getting some more out. So just  they make an effort to extract what they can. Don't see the point in leaving any in there as they won't be doing anything.

This is the start of the terrifying bit.

1st stage = will I get enough eggs?
2nd stage = how many will be mature?
3rd stage = are the eggs good quality?
4th stage = are the zona's too tough?
5th stage = will they all fertilise?
6th stage = if they don't all fertilise then why,
what's wrong?
7th stage = are they dividing how they should?
8th stage = will I get to day 5?
9th stage = how many do I have to transfer?
10th stage = Are they good quality?

I could go on & on & probably list a lot more in between & at either end. But these seem to be the key to the start of my anxiety per hour, per day. Starting with stage 1 beginning in ummmmmmm just under about 5 minutes!

Oh balls! I now have 5 mins to drink my tea! 

[Michimoo]

AWAKE!!!!!
Paranoid I'm ovulating. My ovaries are hurting & I've got horrible scenarios going round my head that all my eggs are ruined!
Been lying here for an hour now. DH is asleep & I would normally just make myself a cuppa now & I can't

I'm actually typing this under the covers so the glow of my iPhone doesn't wake him up! 

Oh God this is torture. Another 4 hours to go yet until I go to the clinic. I'm going 

[Michimoo]

Well I'm lying in recovery typing this. No sign of DH maybe he's getting happy in a room somewhere? 

10 eggies. Just hoping they are decent & not pants with all that Vit C & steroids.

Next stop LIT. Not had that before so I'm a little apprehensive.

My blood pressure was very low but no change there.
Starving marvin & looking forward to stuffing my face with chocolate. Seen as I have no eggs to worry about.

A bit sore & think they got most of the eggs out of my right.

DH told me that hiding my iPhone under the duvet doesn't stop the glow from waking him up! Oops! 

[Michimoo]

Wowzers am I in pain after this EC! 

Been feeling pretty pants today & managed to get down to dinner but on the way up I was doubled over in pain. My stomach is so bloated & tender.
I have drank about 3 litres of fluid today. This is the first time in 6 EC's that I've felt this rough.

Hoping after a good nights sleep things will subside a bit.

About to take my botty Voltarol so maybe that'll help a bit.

[Michimoo]

I think I'm setting myself up for a massive disappointment fall.
Just realised that in the past we've had good fertilisation rates. But never really thought that most women don't & it's unusual.
I'm now really panicking I'm not going to have many embies. Penny & the acupuncturist kept mentioning a day 3 transfer yesterday. With my comatosed sedation state I didn't really take much notice. But now I'm a bit more with it, it's playing on my mind.
Why would they be suggesting that already when I got 10 eggs?
Sounds like things weren't great.
Feeling sad, but keeping it to myself as DH would tell me off for being negative.