* Author Topic: Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!  (Read 214849 times)

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Offline Michimoo

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Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
« Reply #90 on: 29/05/14, 12:31 »
Sitting in the waiting room waiting for a Dr.
It's all over, Rocky has no heartbeat & is now an angel in heaven.
ERPC tomorrow to have the chromosomal test done.
Fly away my angel baby. Mummy loved my little miracle if only for a short time.
I feel numb yet heartbroken.
No tears just empty.

I love you Rocky.

💔
xxx


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    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #91 on: 30/05/14, 05:56 »
    4 measly hours sleep!
    Terrified of the procedure today.
    As some of you may know I struggle to come round from General anaesthetics.
    The last time my temperature dropped & I nearly went hypothermic & ended up with blankets wrapped round my head & body. I looked like an Egyptian mummy when I got wheeled back to my room. Then the first thing DH did was laugh, take a picture of me & send it to my mate with "scary" written above it!  ;D
    Anyway, he's not here this time & I'm sure my Mother will be a lot more sympathetic.

    Right, on a more serious note. They really did scare the  ^scared^ Outta me yesterday by explaining all the terrible things that could go wrong!
    Perforated bowel, perforated bladder, mess up your uterus, damage your cervix, blood transfusion, open surgery, infection, bleeding out especially as you've been on Clexane & baby aspirin  ^idiot^ :o ............
    OMG!
    Then the Dr said but it's 1:1000 chance with the open surgery & we haven't had one yet in this hospital.
    So I said " oh great, so statistically you are due one then!?"
    He stared at me in silence for a bit & then laughed " umm no, I didn't mean it like that."

    We spent 4000 on a private hysteroscopy, laparoscopy, D&C, tubes blown & womb wash in August. To be told I have a perfectly healthy & clean womb. I do not want it all messed up by a 5 min procedure that's just routine & not much care & thought goes into it.

    I will obviously reiterate my concerns when I see the Dr today. But I have no control whatsoever. I hate General anaesthetics as when they put me under I panic that's gonna be it. I always try & fight it as much as I can.

    I really hope I come back round ok too.

    I guess I need to put my seat belt on & join this roller coaster now eh?

    Ok, let's start this horrible day. Here I go ...................

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #92 on: 31/05/14, 07:33 »
    There is no footprint too small
    That it can't leave an imprint
    on this world.

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #93 on: 23/06/14, 21:37 »
    Just over 3 wks since my miscarriage. I still haven't cried. What the Hell is wrong with me? Has my heart just turned to stone through all of this trauma & disappointment?
    Do I have any emotion left inside me?
    It's bizarre. I'm worried I may crack at the most inappropriate time. Probably at the christening I'm due to attend in 3 weeks. When I'd rather stab my eyes with a hot poker than go.

    Anyway I'm currently in Athens for a couple of days whilst DH has his interview. Off to see Penny tomorrow to have an aquascan to make sure alls well from the erpc. Better make sure I go for a pee after the procedure & not forget & get caught short during the walk back to the hotel & have to wee in a side street like last time !!  ::)


    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #94 on: 24/06/14, 05:42 »
    If Penny doesn't mention how beautiful my foo foo is again today, I may well be offended!  ;)

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #95 on: 17/07/14, 22:10 »
    Saw a psychic yesterday. She told me I'm going to write a book & that I have just lost a baby boy!
    Guess it really was Rocky after all!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #96 on: 18/08/14, 17:31 »
    Results day for Rocky tomorrow.
    Dreading it, as whatever the reason I will blame myself.
    It's either my poo eggs or my poo womb! Take your pick?

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #97 on: 19/08/14, 16:36 »
    So there was a genetic issue & Rocky was actually Roxanne!!!
    Feel a little strange now I know for sure!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #98 on: 23/08/14, 11:45 »
    Ahhhhhhhhh DH says we don't need ivf anymore as we got pg naturally!
    I could SCREAM!!!!!

    Offline Michimoo

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    Fresh cycle number 6! I must be mad!
    « Reply #99 on: 29/08/14, 09:17 »
    Ok. So, as is the way with ARGC I decided to take them up on the free consultation after the m/c.
    Rebecca booked us in with Raneri in the hope that he could convince DH that ivf is the way forward.
    I've never had the DE card thrown at me from ARGC as I still get the "you're young" talk! After getting pg naturally it's made me question if I haven't still got a few golden eggs left?

    So after showing Raneri our results from the m/c. He actually explained them in much better detail than the NHS consultant. The baby had an extra set of chromosomes (triploidy) this happens if the egg has 2 sets to begin with OR 2 sperm fertilise 1 egg.

    This can just be "unlucky" ( story of my life)
    Or can indicate an egg issue!!  :o

    Raneri suggests maybe we do natural ivf on our next attempt as maybe we are bringing forward bad eggs that would've never made it in my ivf attempts.
    He said that even getting to blastocysts doesn't mean good eggs.

    DH said he wanted to go down the "lots of sex" route instead of any treatment. Raneri said you can for 6 months & if nothing happens if consider some form of treatment!!!
    FFS - don't agree with him!   
    Then the DE card was used as a "if you want to get pg".

    Hmmmmmmm.
    Hearing it from ARGC made me feel like poop. They don't throw the DE card around very easily. Now I'm blaming myself for killing my little girl. It's my [email protected] eggs that stopped her from living.
    Not sure what to do from here.