* Author Topic: IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start  (Read 13359 times)

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Offline _MrsH_

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This site is like a life saver for me. I think I definitely found it at the right time. I was most definitely struggling with not conceiving. Thought I'd introduce my back story before continuing.

I have been with my beautiful husband for nearly 6 years and married since June 2012. He is my best friend and I love him so much - part of the reason I feel so bad about not being able to conceive is because he is so desperate to be a dad. I know he'd be amazing as a father which currently devastates me. I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) which was diagnosed when I was about 16 - can't really remember to be honest. I have always known that I'd struggle to conceive but I suppose you never quite realise how hard it will be until you struggle. I don't think any of us as we grow up think that we'd have a baby through fertility treatment. It most certainly wasn't in my plan. I thought it'd be all hearts and flowers and would happen naturally - I didn't plan this!!

When we'd been together a year we decided to start trying for a baby, a. because we knew we wanted to be together forever and b. because we didn't know how long it would take us to become a family.

We finally got a referral to Jessops and I have had various ultrasounds and blood tests, a laparoscopy and a HSG test. I weighed around 16 stone and was told I wouldn't be able to continue with NHS funded treatment until I lost weight and got my BMI down. I became down and withdrawn but finally I pulled myself back together and have lost nearly 5 stone. We finally got the go ahead to start treatment and after what seemed like a life time, today we had our first baseline scan and bloods which was very exciting but also very nerve wracking as we didn't know what to expect.

It was absolutely fine in the end, I had the scan - it didn't hurt and after years of prodding and poking I wasn't embarrassed by being on my period whilst having it done. it is the nurses job after all - my floozy wasn't the first and most certainly wont be the last she sees!! I was told I had 10 follicles on one side and 11 on the other - now this means nothing to me at the moment. She did ask if I had PCOS but not really sure how it fits in. When I researched it tonight it says that people with PCOS are likely to have more follicles - they just dont want them all to mature. (?)

Well we start injecting tomorrow which I'm feeling a little nervous about but it didn't hurt in training so I'm sure it'll be fine - it's just feeling very real. And very scary! So many emotions.

We haven't really told our family that we've started - none of them really ask anymore as they are too enthralled in their own lives - I'm not bitter but I'm the one who will do anything for anyone, I remember appointments they have, which niece has a birthday party, which nephew has lost a tooth etc. etc. whatever it is is I'll know and I'll ask - I'm the stupid one they all turn to at 2am when they are out getting drunk and getting into arguments. I've decided this year it'll be no more - I have my own life to live, and more important things to worry about without the stress they put on me. We have told my mother-in-law, father-in-law and my best friend as they are the ones who are always there for us and are interested. They are so excited which is lovely. To us, the more people who know the more people we have to say 'its failed!'   I've also had to tell a few people at work - my boss doesn't care to be honest - she's very insensitive. She hasn't got children of her own and I feel she believes she's missed out on the opportunity to have treatment (which she'd need) therefore I wonder if she's feeling jealous. She never asks how appointments have gone even though we are supposed to be friends but oh well, I'll worry about me.

Anyway i've rambled on far too much. I will no doubt write tomorrow after my first injection!! EEEEEEKKKKKKK

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    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #1 on: 16/01/14, 16:53 »
    So, I'm on injection day 6. My stomach is starting to feel a little tender and I get terrible headaches and nausea after each injection but other than that I'm feeling good. I was expecting to be crying all over the place!! haha

    The first injection was awful...not in the sense that it hurt or anything because they haven't but I got terribly emotional (the hubby wondered what the hell was happening!) it was almost as if I felt drained. It felt unfair at actually having to inject - all our friends get pregnant naturally, so why shouldn't we. If that makes any sense?! As the days have gone on I've got on with it - even managing to inject myself on Monday which I didn't expect to be able to do. We decided that my husband would do it as that is the only thing he feels part of (apart from producing the sample on the day!) I think he's secretly liking stabbing me!!

    We go back on Saturday which I'm already starting to feel nervous about. I'm not sure if we need lots of eggs or a few. There's just too much to take in! I'm feeling slightly lost. I do feel quite positive but I don't want to raise my hopes too much in case it never happens...fingers crossed!

    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #2 on: 17/01/14, 22:37 »
    So tomorrow is our scan day, hopefully all the follicles will be playing nicely and we can go head with iui. I'm not feeling very positive though - should I be? Things don't ever seem to go as we hope. But we can always dream x

    Offline _MrsH_

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    « Reply #3 on: 19/01/14, 14:21 »
    So...

    We had our scan yesterday to see if my follicles have grown at all. They were still on the small side but there was still lots of them which is surely positive. (?) I had more bloods taken, (!) getting used to it all now....I hated having blood taken but it's not too bad now! They told me to phone back in the afternoon to see if we needed to increase the dose of gonal-f.

    I phoned back on the train home, my hubby had a uni day after our appointment so thought I'd treat myself and go shopping whilst waiting for him!. The train probably wasn't the best place to ring but at least the news wasn't too bad. I feel like I shouldn't be doing 'normal stuff.'   I have to stick with the same dose of 50 and then go back on Wednesday for another scan. So surely the follicles must be doing something?? Arghh, I don't know!!

    I've looked at my cycle calendar that I keep and I've tried to work out when (if) I have the iui done it should be a week on Monday which, looking at my calendar, is the time I'm due to ovulate so maybe that's why the follicles are still relatively small? I'm not sure, I could be completely reading too much into it.

    Lets see how it goes Wednesday.

    xx

    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #4 on: 21/01/14, 18:11 »
    Tomorrow can't come soon enough for us, it seems that you wait forever - even for those little things. Waiting, waiting, waiting - that is all we do!! Tomorrow is scan day....again, hopefully follicles will be at the right size to continue, not sure what happens next if they aren't. I just pray that it goes ok xx

    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #5 on: 22/01/14, 18:20 »
    Had an appointment this morning for a scan and all seemed to go well. Didn't need bloods either which was a massive bonus! The scan seemed to really hurt today as it was pressing on my bladder which I'd emptied before going in. I know they were just trying to get a good look so not too bothered but as I have an over-active and sensitive bladder its left me with stomach ache all day.

    The scan itself went well and the nurse seemed pleased. One side was still quite small and there was one follicle on the other side progressing quickly which they said was good news. Although I thought it'd be better to have more than one follicle. They did say that because I have PCOS it is better to be on a low dose of gonal-f and have just the one or two follicles as there is a higher risk of the cycle being cancelled. Which I don't want.

    We now have to go back on Saturday for another scan and keep injecting in the meantime. Then after the scan they will ring us at lunch to say whether we need to come back straight away for the treatment or whether to go back Monday for our first round of iui !! Very excited!! Hope we are one of the few lucky ones where it works first time. Don't want to get my hopes up though, although it is hard not to. I suppose everyone of us feels the same.

    I did have a sudden panic getting to work that I didn't ask about injecting with the second blue injection as there was so much to remember but I telephoned the nurses and they were lovely. They assured me that I didn't need to worry as I didn't need it at the minute as I look to be ovulating myself but if I do need to have it I will take it Saturday night ready for Monday!!

    I can't believe we're getting so close!  I'm sure the wait until Saturday will be a killer though xx

    Offline _MrsH_

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    « Reply #6 on: 24/01/14, 22:37 »
    So....

    I seem to have had what I'd call an emotional breakdown!!! My goodness me. Had what feels like a constant headache now for the 2 weeks that we have been injecting and felt nauseous afterwards. Just starting to feel run down. Don't know if this is because of the hormones or if I may be coming down with something. Can't remember feeling like this before.

    Was sat feeling sorry for myself when the hubby came home, felt ill and just wanted chocolate.....I then promptly burst in to tears and couldn't stop myself...don't know why really. This resulted in lots of love and cuddles from the hubby and him running to the shop for chocolate!! hahaha

    Feeling a little ridiculous now to be honest! Why do we put ourselves through this? Not that I regret it, but it is just so hard and so not fair.

    Offline _MrsH_

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    « Reply #7 on: 25/01/14, 20:23 »
    Had another scan today, (getting boring now!) the biggest follicle is 15mm now so almost there - those final 2mm seem a way off though!! Got to go back on Monday for another scan so treatment will hopefully be Monday or Tuesday. The sooner the better for me. No one tells you about how bad it is waiting for the next appointment!!  The waiting is definitely the worst thing EVER! Even worse than the injections.

    Feel like I'm going mad...........hormones are all over the place, ripped my poor hubbies head off tonight and not really sure why!! I'm sure he'll forgive me - I can't help it.

    Fingers crossed for Monday!!

    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #8 on: 26/01/14, 01:16 »
    I can't sleep, still wide awake and feeling desperately sorry for myself! I'm so emotional its unreal! I can't stop crying and then when I do stop I well up again at the slightest thing. I feel so so stupid, like I have nothing to cry for!! I know by the morning I'll be feeling much more positive but for tonight I'm wallowing. I've had enough.

    Offline _MrsH_

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    IUI starting January 2014 - New Year New Start
    « Reply #9 on: 26/01/14, 18:16 »
    Nope, still don't feel better today. Can't shake off this mood. I've never been so hormonal!! I can't handle it! haha
    Went to the gym to try and sweat out some frustration, which worked.....until I got home! Roll on tomorrow xx