* Author Topic: What does your Plan B life look like?-looking for inspiration!  (Read 14338 times)

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Offline katehe

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Okay, so I am truly beginning to accept our situation and consider the silver linings that other posts have pointed out. I feel I want  to now live a life free from restraint and one that best honours  that freedom. So, I would really love to hear from anyone who's life has radically changed in a positive way in a way that would have been unlikely with children.
A lot of people talk about having lots of extra time and money but I am really interested in stories about living a different dream...
...anyone out there?
I am reasonably  happy  but life seems to be becoming more and more about work which was never the dream...
Kate x

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    Offline katehe

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    No replies yet...so, I'm guessing (hoping!) that lots of ladies are rocking the life unexpected and too busy to check in! Lol!

    Offline Helend75

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    • Everything crossed & hoping for the best!
    No stories, but will watch with interest. I too have had 2 courses of ICSI & am at a bit of a crossroads. Well, I'm not hopeful that a third round will be successful, but we'll do it.

    Do you have any interests which might lead to a dream (travel for example?).

    Wishing you the best

    Offline katehe

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    Hi. Helend75.
    Sorry to read your signature and see you are in the same boat. X
    I am thinking about emigrating to OZ but if it happens, it won't be for a couple of years due to my husband only just having retrained as a SWorker.

    In the meantime- going slightly crazy just working full time as a teacher. I am lucky to have the downtime of half term holidays (last week) but it only serves to remind me that I just work. I try to fit in other stuff of course but I am often too tired to truly enjoy.

    So, before travel happens, thinking about the possibility of going part-time so I can get more of a balance. Not sure though.... Want to be more of a free spirit x

    Offline Helend75

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    • Everything crossed & hoping for the best!
    I'm also a teacher! I know how exhausting it is.
    We had our ofsted report finally published last week (inspected in December). I was planning to resign anyway as my head teacher has been far from supportive over treatment, if I'm
    Going to do it once more I need to not be juggling it with a wicked headteacher in a special measures school - talk about stressful!!!

    Offline M0ncris

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    Katehe,

    Just popping on to ask if you have seen the more to life website?  I found it after my mmc and it helped.

    You can find stories on there which might inspire you

    http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/more_to_life/support_6

    Mon
    X
    /links

    Offline Forgetmenot

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    • For some moments in life there are no words....
    Hi Kate,
    I am hoping plan b is going to turn out to be exciting.  It's nice that people can keep affording to continue to get their dream, however, realism needs to kick in... And if we want a chance of a plan b, things need to end.
    We have had our tenth and final (expensive) cycle, bfn. It's ok as knew it would be.  Our only ever bfp I knew at the time of transfer it would work... This one I knew would fail.
    Need to formulate a plan and get out of debt.  First phone call was to the financial advisor.... Bless him a few months ago he was saying how we needed to be more responsible on the credit cards, this time we told him what the debt was about.... He didn't really know what to say.  I want to get debt and mortgage combined, so we can pay it on a reduced wage or downsize to enable some time out.  I too teach, and it's been a challenge, with an evermore demanding job!  One that I used to love.... Now I want more.  I am not sure what that more is anymore however.  I guess it's about finding a new path, new ventures and some new friends.... List have come and gone and lots fall by the way side as you are not following the same pathway, sad but true.
    Anyway, I ramble.  Let me know if you find the mythical new...living the dream.... One would had we have not spent all our money, which is ironic lol
    Still life goes on, we only have one.... So I for one will pick myself up, dust myself down and get on with something (after a mini breakdown!!).... Just need to find my niche.  Take care, Jen xx

    Offline wanttoflyaway

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    • Husband failed VR & Sperm Retrival
    I am in a very similar situation.....

    What next - like a lot of you say, sort money first ... as far as we have got with a plan b is talking about holidays - then maybe some more hard core travelling after that I don't know - maybe we will find out while we holiday and re fresh

    We are also starting a business - well hubby is self employed and has been for years - so really just taking what he does to the next level, not that I am really involved in that but its about him too.

    I seem to be taking my job a little more seriously of late but I am hoping to change that too - one thing at a time though.

    xx

    Offline beachbaby

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    Hi ladies, Very close family friends of mine found out just after they were married that they would need donor sperm, having found out the waiting time was over 2 years (long time ago)and they were married later in life so time was against them. they decided to get on with life as a couple, their aim was to visit 50 different countries, they have now done 98 so are going for 100, they are now in their early 70's, she was a nurse and he was a customs officer. They have had a fantastic life as a couple, I do not know anyone who can get so much done in a day, when they come to visit they exhaust us with their abounding energy to see as much as possible. Some of the trips they have done are astounding, they put so much energy into the research before they go so they see as much as possible.
    I am sure they hurt in the early days but they have moved forward positively with their life.

    I was lucky to be successful at the fourth attempt but we were already discussing our life if we were unsuccessful and we would definitely have moved probably to another country, would love to go now, but harder to do so now.

    I wish you all luck in your choices. As one chapter closes another opens xx

    Offline Lady-S

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    • My wonderful miracle!
    I hope you don't mind me posting....we always had a plan B back up

    When my OE Ivf failed and we were in limbo land with our decision to use DE, we came up,with a list of plan b's.

    Various options we mulled over

    1) save save save to pay off mortgage ASAP
    2) learn to sail and spend the summer sailing Mediterranean
    3) I was horse riding and started thinking about owning my own horse
    4) moving to the seasside

    As you can see we decided to use DE and have a little boy so all of the above are on hold!!

    I'm a teacher too!!! Totally empathise with the stress!! I'm part time now, which is hard work with a child but perfect with the holidays.

    I really really would consider going part time as part of your plan B. yes it's a reduction in salary, but you'd have had to do this AND pay for childcare. Looking back, I kind of wish I'd gone part time through all my tx years. Taken the stress off a bit more.

    What I would say is don't waste time...don't waste your life. I have friends who are childless by choice and quite frankly are working themselves to the bone, don't have any get up and go and I'm not at all jealous of their child free lives.

    I know pre child we went on lovely holidays and always tried to do things that we can't do with a child: whitewater rafting, horse riding etc. I look back at that time with fondness.

    Life is for living and make each day count!!!

    Good luck to you

    Xxxxx