* Author Topic: What does your Plan B life look like?-looking for inspiration!  (Read 14356 times)

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Offline katehe

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Thanks lady-s
Looks like our move to OZ is looking more likely as the plan B. Looks like that won't be soon though, so we have taken up ski-ing - we have been going to the dry ski slope and planning a ski trip next year. I am really enjoying it. In truth, it cannot make up for Plan A but I am learning to live with it and focus on being happy anyway.
Congrats on your baby!

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    Offline Isla35

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    Katehe

    Thanks for starting this thread. 

    OZ sounds an exciting prospect.  It is something we are considering.  My husbands old company is recruiting out there and his current job is with a small firm that doesn't seem to be going anywhere, it is certainly something to consider.  I think it is a lot easier for us without children, we don't have to worry about disrupting education.  I have some older relatives who now feel torn because they have elderly parents in one part of the world and adult children settled in another.  At least I know that we could work in OZ for ten or twenty years and then come back if we needed/wanted.

    Good luck with the skiing.

    Offline katehe

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    Hi Isla
    Yep- I am thinking the same- maybe just work out there for a while rather thinking of it as emigration. Which part of OZ ? X

    Offline Isla35

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    The job would be in Sydney.  So we are concerned about how expensive it is.  One of the problems is that we have a great quality of life here in the UK, it is just the career opportunity side that is a problem for us.  Warmer weather wouldn't be bad either.  ;D

    Offline katehe

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    Gailgegirl - lovely post x
    You are quite right- change does not have to be radical. I realised that my life has changed in a very similar way- I am much more 'fun' and think 'why not do so and so..' And my new motto is 'be happy anyway'. Yes, we have had to cope with plan B but it doesn't mean we have to be miserable.

    Isla - Sydney sounds fantastic !! We are planning on Melbourne x

    Offline Isla35

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    Gailgegirl - Such a good post and really good advice.  I have a little folder in my office which always contains tickets to upcoming events.  I have had a really lovely bank holiday weekend and haven't really had time to think about not being a family.  On Saturday I went to a meetup group for childless women and had a lovely lunch and chat in the wonderful sunshine.  We didn't really talk about the childfree much but just enjoyed being able to chat about what we have and will be doing, sometimes hard to do with friends who are mothers because you often feel like your news is pretty small compared to theirs. (Its not by the way).  On Sunday my DH and I went to a photography exhibition which was great fun and just had a lovely day together.  We stayed up late watching movies because we can.  By the time our village carnival came around on Monday we were too tired, relaxed or happy to really feel anything significant that we weren't with children.

    We did a lot of spring planting in our garden this year and I am already enjoying sitting out and reading a book(I am doing a reading challenge this year (30 books)).  This summer we are travelling around as much of Japan as we can in three weeks.   :) ^clapping^

    Of course if I could wave a magic wand my life would be different right now.  But that doesn't mean that I am not finding enjoyment and bits of happiness here or there and building them into a happy life. 

    Offline overDAbridge

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    Looks good conversation.

    One I've found really hard to have between all the think positives.

    We've thought about another country.

    Bridge x

    Offline Pol

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    In our 6 (I think - not been counting) years since moving on we have:
    - both changed jobs and completely retrained in something we prefer doing and find more meaningful even though it pays less well (me to become a primary school teacher, DH to become an IT guru).  I have absolutely no idea how teachers manage being parents as well - it takes every ounce of my energy, but I absolutely love it!
    - paid off the mortgage on our little house
    - built a wooden Canadian canoe which we've been on various adventures in including a 12-day wild-camping adventure in Knoydart
    - enjoyed numerous mountain climbing holidays in Scotland - on average 3 per year
    - sold up and moved to a wonderful Georgian flat in the beautiful city of Edinburgh by scraping together every penny we could - and are now renovating that gradually as we save the money
    - spent more time with my parents, and developed a lovely adult relationship that isn't fraught with difficulties of how we are bringing up their grandchildren
    - watched our nieces and nephews growing up oh so fast and realised what a short space of our lives parenting would really have been
    For me the most important part was getting the job right - doing something that didn't feel it was 'just a job' but was a vocation (and a pretty all-consuming one at that) has meant that I don't feel guilty about having free time and money that I wouldn't have had as a parent. Life's very good and I wouldn't have it any other way - despite a long period of despair at the time, I do feel our culture's emphasis on parenting is quite an unhealthy one and to some extent driven by advertisers.  When I lifted my head out of the 'slough of despond' and started to really look around I realised I knew quite a lot of childless older couples who have been living highly fullfilled lives that are an inspiration but I had kind of never thought of them as childless - that wasn't the important thing about them, and now it's not the important thing about me either.
    Good luck to you all - there's a silver lining out there for all of you, and I wish you the very best in finding it XXX

    Offline Alotbsl

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    Hi Just want to a say Pol that your post has been very helpful to me. If anyone else has positive stories, keep them coming!

    Offline Pol

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    That's really kind, ladies.  I hope you are finding your Plan Bs now - it does take time, so you have to be patient with yourself!  ;)