* Author Topic: home education diary  (Read 56814 times)

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Offline jdm4tth3ws

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home education diary
« on: 1/09/14, 15:38 »
Hi everyone
im back with more questions or advice please.
as some may remember i posted before on toiletting issues at school, but not at home
this continued on and of throughout the school yr the underlying issue of bullying was resolved by me by bringing him home at lunch time so.he didnt have to spend nearly an hour in the bully's company. last day of school, he begged me not to send him back to that school. i just said hes got to go bk but its the 6 wks holiday now, lets just have fun. thrpughout the 6 wks he has constantly said i hate that school, i hate eveything about it. last night it came to a head. hes 6 and he starts bk wed. he opened up and said his new teacher shouts all the time (he cpuld hear through the walls in the last class). so i said well be a good boy and do your work. but if you dont understand, tell her. he said he cant cos then they shout at you saying you werent listening. he says he hates the playgrpund as the teachers dont watch the kids they just stand arpund chatting to each other. he begged and pleaded to move to a new school or even let me home school him. to my mind this is not normal for a 6 year old. he asked me how long till half term. i told him 6-7 wks. he said how long off. i said 1 week. he said that not enough. then he said 6 wks to get through!
i have spoken to the secretary and am waiting for head to ring me. however, througout last yr the head kept referring me bk to the teacher as teacher was better advised to talk to me. teacher told me i was a neurotic mum and my 6 yr old was manipulating me. i just kept getting fobbed off. teacher did say shed arrange a meeting with the school nurse - im still waiting.
so long winded question what should i do? change schools if possible or wait this next yr out.
incidentally he was at a classmates party yesterday. so was his little brother. he spent most of the time playing with his little brother, apart from when he was bursting into tears.  he had no interest in any of his classmates that he hadnt seen for 6 wks.
he has also asked until his brother starts full time on friday can he come home for dinner, with his brother and then both stay school dinners so he and bro can be togwther. his little bro is 4 yrs gping into reception and has a wide circle.of friends. from what my older one says and ydays actions, he doesnt appear to have any friends. he even shied away from the birthday boy!
i am at a loss. guts.say move him, but im really not sure
all i know is im hurting cos he seems to be and im scared for him
please help
thank you
jade xxx

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    Offline jdm4tth3ws

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #1 on: 1/09/14, 18:08 »
    Just a quick update,

    the head has rang me. basically told me to tell him he has no choice. which i have done. told me to be the grown up.  aparently it is normal for boys of this age to be overly anxious. she is going to get him 'confidence building' sessions with a teacher that deala with these issues. they can offer 1 session a week, but this teacher will also keep her eyes on him and give him extra support should he need it.
    im to try and reinforce the positives. and keep repeating he has got to go.
    we shall see!

    Offline mierran

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #2 on: 21/09/14, 22:32 »
    Hi,
    surely it is not " normal " to be that miserable?

    I really hope things are going a bit better for your ds. But if they are not I would get him out of there.

    I hated a lot of my own schooling . I have agreed to apply for school with my two as dh and kids are v keen on going. However , if that changes, they will be homeschooled. I will not put them through hell to build character, and life will throw enough unavoidable bumps at them without me adding to them.

    I'm sorry but a school who cannot reassure you and give a chold who is obviously struggling care and attention is not somewhere I would want my children going.

    I really hope this is a moot point and all has settled. But I went to a couple of homeschooling events and there were several families there whose boys were your son's age. They said that since they had taken their sons out of school it was like they were starting to get their children back.

    Big hugs

    Offline jdm4tth3ws

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #3 on: 21/09/14, 23:28 »
    Thanks mierrian,
    not so moot as yout think.
    i have been writing a diary on how he sees school life and some of it is calming down and others he remains the same.  one of my problems is as i found out unfortunately, every school in my area is oversubscribed and i mean every school. the only one that wasnt is out of our area (fine i have a car) and already in special measures. hmmm! but there is small progress. first off, in the second week an ofsted inspector was randomly picking parents for feedback and she picked me. so i told her the whole sorry tale. then i was invited to give feedback on ofsted parentview and the head teacher has suddenly started to ask how he is doing at home. not great, honestly. his confidence building starts tomorrow (3 weeks after promising me it wohld be in place on the first day) especially as i informed her my gp is getting camhs involved as some of his 'behaviours' are normal, but others are way off kilter. especially as i emphasised the fact that in the 6 weeks, he was confident, happy, bubbly, helpful little chappie. yes, he fought with his brother, but nit the level hes currently at. as soon as i mentioned camhs, head said she can get him and us some support. at home from the local support team. they will come into our home and try to advise/guide (read judge/belittle) on better parenting skills to help him.
    i am scared of the homeschool thing to be honest, wouldnt knkw where to start.
    he still flips out every day, but im trying to handle it better. refuses to get dressed for scholl, so i dress him without moaning. the struggle to get him out the door and into the car is still there, but i try to keep my voice light and cheery. i have had to fireman lift him down the street to get him to walk that last little bit into school once. hoping to not have to repeat that experience. i try to keep everything as calm as possible.
    weekends are just as bad as he knows its only 2 days break and then back to school. term time, hes just hard work. i dont know if im going to get a violent reaction or a smile when i talk to him (not particularly about school, just general conversation) or just plain ignorance. sometimes ignoring me is the easiest option.
    please dont read me wrong - i love him to absolute bits. But i was given advice to see the term out. if he improves all well and good, if he doesnt, change schools if possible. but, what worries me is will he have the very same problems elsewhere or worse problems because he came in too late and everybody has already formed their own little clique. here, at least, he has his brother and 3 friends who he is quite close to. also, this year, his teacher is really nice, has a very open face and a quiet speaking voice. last one was an absolute cow. closed down and stern looking face. never cracked a smile once! new teacher met me on 2nd day back, when i picked them up for a change and she came out, shook my hand, big smile and introduced herself to me. said how much of a credit he was to me and she looked forward to getting to know us better in the coming yr. he has said he likes her a lot, but is still a little scared of the teaching assistant as she does tend to shout.
    i am playing it by ear and taking every day as it comes.
    i think half the problem is head didnt believe his issues were as bad as i was making out. she said he is a quiet (alarm bells go off, he is not quiet at home, boisterous over exuberant puppy :-D at home) willing and very hardworking member of the class. but when i mentioned gp involvement, she took me very seriously then. hoping with help and support, he will get more confident in school.
    i know how hard it is to be in a school where you are made to feel like [email protected] i was bullied many years for being different and that feeling of inferiority never quite leaves you.
    i really dont want it for him and i am doing my best to try and help him and hoping and praying that we do start to see an improvement.
    i really dont know what to do for the best, so its simply, watch and wait. only time will tell atm.
    but thank you for asking about him. i really do appreciate that.
    Sorry its been a ramble
    jade xx

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #4 on: 22/09/14, 06:00 »
    You should definitely follow up closely.  If he starts hating school mow, he won't be willing to study and it could develop into a long - term problem, not only academically.
    Apart from what you are doing, it would be good to e role him into a sport club I do believe that such things are useful to the children.  Is there something he likes or is good at?

    Offline bingbong

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #5 on: 22/09/14, 10:19 »
    I can't give much advice but I'd really be chasing the GP for that CAMHS referral, or the school can do it. It sounds like it'd be really good for all of you as as well as helping DS they will also give you support and help with how to deal with it all.


     ^hugme^


    bingbong x

    Offline jdm4tth3ws

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    Do i move my son from his current school, if i can?
    « Reply #6 on: 22/09/14, 13:06 »
    Thanks everyone :-). however, i have been researching home education as mierrian suggested and i am seriously considering it. i have the full support of my husband as well but mierrian please inbox me on what youve picked up so far.
    i must admit i am terrified but the more i think about it, the more it makes perfect sense to me.
    a friend at school also home schooled her child for 18 months as our school hadnt a place available for her. shes taught her so well, shes now really disappointed in how little the school does actually teach. her child is way ahead of the rest.
    any guidance greatly appreciated. will just wait this term out and if hes still not happy i will move on to home education.

    Offline bingbong

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    « Reply #7 on: 22/09/14, 14:49 »
    jdm are you on social media? There are a lot of UK based homeschooling pages on there that I can give you the names of if you want, send me a pm if you do (and with where abouts you live).


    bingbong x

    Offline beachbaby

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    « Reply #8 on: 22/09/14, 16:15 »
    Hi, im so sorry your still struggling, have you spoken of your concerns to his new teacher, as she sounds a lot nicer than last years teacher. We have an Ogre of a teacher this year compared to an angel last year.
    I have twins of 6 and one was bullied toward the back end of last year to the point that the school were seriously considering removing him from school as his behaviour was that bad (not just aimed at my son), fortunately they managed to get him back under control for now.
    I also met a lady at swimming who home schools her daughter as she hated the school environment and really struggled, but her second daughter loves school and happily goes every day. She allowed her children to choose and has adapted life so it works for both children, she is very open minded and happy to alter the arrangement in the future if either girls wish to, she did say there are more people home schooling than you realise and they have a good network of friends doing the same and a lot of resources available to you, we only live in a small town.

    Good luck and hope things improve soon xx

    Offline jdm4tth3ws

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    « Reply #9 on: 22/09/14, 16:27 »
    Yes bingbong i am on social media, arent most of us :-).
    so the home ed faclitator from our local education council has rang me and told me what i need to do. also advised i use reading egg and maths whizz online. told me about a fairly local home ed group for the sociL imlications and said how to deregister him from school and i could do it today if i wantrd. she asked which school and why.  so i gave her chapter and verse and she agrees it would be better for him to be home ed asap. she has been totally honest and said i would only have to see someone once a year, and not even in my home if i wasnt comfortable with that. but she alao let me know that i can have her or another lady come round and advise if im unsure.
    OMG! the other home ed coordinator has just rang me and arranged (which i asked for) a home visit for advice and signposting. she says deregister him asap if thats what he wants!
    wow, this starting point sounds easy.
    i mentioned i am worried cos i take my mum shopping in a morning and she says thats classed as life skills education. him helping to write shopping list, finding the items, working out the costs and it is perfectly fine for us to do that. As soon as hes deregistered she will send me a badge that i produce if police ask why hes not in school and it will be a valid home ed badge.
    fan-bloody-tastic!!!!!!!!