* Author Topic: 10% chance with partner sperm, do donor or go 50/50? Help!  (Read 1398 times)

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Offline littlecat83

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Hi ladies

We've had a consultation after our first failed ICI (4 eggs, 3 mature, none fertilised) The consultant said there was problem with the sperm. We could go again with my partner's, maybe do a biopsy and see if he can find healthier but they put chances at 10%. We spoke to our embryoloist friend after who was much more helpful. She said don't bother with a biopsy - not necessary as she's seen the sperm and it is what it is. She did say again that we could do a 50/50 split with my partner's sperm and donor. I'd have to produce over 10 eggs to be allowed to do that though and I only produced 4 last time, 3 of which were mature. Sigh.

We have no idea what to do. If we go again with my partner's we can cycle again next month but the odds are pretty tragic according to the consultant. If we decided to go 50/50 or full donor sperm then we have to go through couselling, wait for a match, etc which is a three month minimum wait. Ap-arently since the anonynimity has gone from sperm donation they are few and far between. Our PCT have barely any on the books and they are all short apparently. My partner is 6'4!! They said they can look around outside the PCT but there won't be much choice. If that's the case then perhaps we shoudl just go all guns with his and then if it doesn't work go donor on the next go but look at buying better sperm and having a better choice? I don't know. The idea of donor is completely new to both of us and we have no idea what happens there.

Any advice or help appreciated xx

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    Offline littlecat83

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    Anyone got any advice at all  ^pray^

    Offline Martha Moo

    • FF's Inimitable List Princess
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    Hi Littlecat83

    I am going to move your thread to the donor section in hope that the ladies there can share experiences and thoughts with you

     ^hugme^ ^hugme^

    Donna

    Offline hilly35

    • Gold Member-10018
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    Hi Littlecat, you will see from my signature I suffered the same, zero fertilisation time and time again. My last cycle I did split with donor and a new technique using calcium ionophore on my dh sperm, amazingly we had 3 embryos fertilise and as you can see one very happily took and I am not 15 + weeks. I don't know whether it would work for you but certainly something to investigate. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Good luck as I know what a tough time you are both going through xxxx

    Offline abram1980

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    Personally i dont think you should go the donor route yet, there are still plenty of options available,as long as he is still able to produce sperm cells hope is not lost, i understand how distressing it is for you and your partner but i believe you still need to keep up hope and if you can get a second opinion then you should.

    Offline bombsh3ll

    • Gold Member-10018
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    • 50% science, 50% prayer, 100% love.
    Hi Littlecat,

    We found out unexpectedly a few weeks before our first IVF that my partner's sperm was very poor (2% morphology, 11% motility). It is me who is infertile so it came as a complete shock to have issues in this area too.

    On the first cycle we went ahead with ICSI, poor sample on the day, BFP but early m/c.

    2nd cycle NHS self funded so never offered donor sperm - abandoned due to OHSS.

    By the third go we wanted to do absolutely everything to max our chances and neither of us are concerned about DNA so agreed a backup plan of donor sperm ready if the sample was no good, own sperm if decent. Half and half was never discussed but this option sounds a good compromise. I had DE this time as couldn't face stimming again.

    At the clinic in Spain they did a treatment on the sperm which got rid of most of the faulty ones and improved morphology to over 70%, then froze it in advance so that we had peace of mind there were 4 straws of decent quality waiting.

    Would getting the sperm analysed in advance and if reasonable freezing it be an option so you have a better idea if it is going to be usable?

    Also, if you are prepared to go abroad (or import sperm from Cryos Denmark), there is much better availability, choice of donor characteristics and it is also anonymous. I had picked out such a fantastic sounding sperm donor a tiny part of me was disappointed for a second!

    Difficult decisions but I wish you all the best and hope your chosen plan brings success.

    B xxx

    Offline littlecat83

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    Thank you so much everyone!

    hilly - what clinic are you at? I asked about assisted occyte activation and my clinic said it's only borderline legal in this country so they don't do it. They haven't offered any testing on the sperm at all. They just seem to think it's a dead loss which is upsetting. I'll ask about the calcium ionophore, see what they say but I guess on an NHS funded cycle they don't bother too much? That's how I'm starting to feel.

    bmbsh3ll - Thank you so much for the advice. We currently have a choice of three donors if we go down that route and NONE sound like my partner at all. They've got the height but not even the same hair and eye colour. Wow the stuff they did in Spain sounds amazing? Did it cost loads? I can't understand why our clinic aren't offering anything at all : ( We already have a load frozen. About 4 straws I think, but we don't know how good it is.

    abram - it just doesn't feel like there are loads of options from the way our clinic is saying it. they haven't offered any tests, or anything to improve the sperm at all. they are just saying it's own sperm 10% chance, or donor and there are only a choice of 2 options for donor.

    Offline bombsh3ll

    • Gold Member-10018
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    • 50% science, 50% prayer, 100% love.
    Hi Littlecat,

    I was impressed too that our clinic in Spain managed to process the sperm so that morphology improved. I am guessing this treatment cannot make bad swimmers better but gets rid of all the really bad or dead ones so mostly good are left so they are not looking for a needle in a haystack on the day. They also said it makes it less sticky so good ones are not clumped together with bad, and they can see better how well each one is wriggling.

    The sperm treatment and freezing wasn't expensive in Spain, maybe 200-300euros. The whole cycle was about 6500 (excl flights and hotels) in 2012 but most of that cost was due to using donor eggs, and doing ICSI was included in price as standard. So there are options out there if it doesn't work out with NHS. I found our NHS clinic didn't seem to like patients questioning things or making suggestions and it was very much one size fits all there.

    To help put the decision into perspective, have they told you what your chances would be with donor sperm, based on your eggs and test results etc? If you have a 10% chance vs a 40-50% chance that is different to 10 vs 15% for example.

    B xxx

    Offline hilly35

    • Gold Member-10018
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    Hi Littlecat, I am at the lister. I was the first to do it there as it's only been approved in the uk within the last year or so on human embryos (I think don't hold me to that) borderline legal is out of touch, so far I know of people doing it at care, bath, Argc and the lister.

    Worth enquiring I think.

    Wish you all the best, it's so frustrating getting negatives thrown at you, god I know that one  ^hugme^

    Offline littlecat83

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    Thank you both  ^hugme^