* Author Topic: Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP... ICSI Number 4 and still hoping  (Read 27270 times)

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Offline Prettypink

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Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
« Reply #60 on: 20/11/15, 18:05 »
So after a long three weeks we have all results..

Dr Ramsay phoned yesterday to let us know all results are in and he would like to see us again.  Tbh I was so glad to hear that as we had made the clinic aware that we didn't see the point in going all the way down with the expense of flights and trains if Dr Ramsay didn't see an avenue for treatment..

Not sure what to expect at the follow up.  He mentioned dp dna has came back elevated and also something has showed up in the sperm reactive oxidative test.  I was litterly just leaving my house when he phoned and had to run back in to speak to him and didn't ask too much info.  I know we'll get everything explained when we see him but I managed to ask how much the dna is elevated..  57% which in any case is severe?! Knew it would be high but was hoping with the anti biotics and vitamins it may not be as High! But I'm just glad Dr Ramsay wants to see us as I had visions of getting a letter saying sorry nothing can be done..

A long way to go but feel we may hopefully get somewhere and seeing someone who knows his stuff!!

I don't know anything on the sperm reactive oxidative and have been trying to research it.  I am hoping that that and the dna damage could well be caused with the large varicose Dr Ramsay discovered but again will find out when we see him..

We were trying to sort an appointment for a Saturday at the Windsor clinic but all full till January, in the process of arranging one for the middle of Dec back down at Deavonshire but this time get flights then underground.  Argh pretty stressful trying to work it out that we make appointment in time..

Wish the appointment was sooner as just want to know exactly what has showed up and what Dr Ramsay has for us!  I really should now try planning Christmas enjoy the build up while we wait!  The last few weeks were stressful waiting and know we were both feeling it, dp mentioned a few times how I was being snappy which I didn't mean to be was just worrying on the outcome..

Least we have some answers let's hope and pray Dr Ramsay can work his magic 😊 xx

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    Offline Prettypink

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    Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
    « Reply #61 on: 26/11/15, 20:54 »
    Appointment booked to see Dr Ramsay in two weeks time.  Back down at Deavonshire place as his next Saturday appointment wouldn't be till January?!  Just really want to see him ASAP to see what he has to say..

    Dp had a crap few days.  Think everything getting to him and scared, he never talks about his feelings and pretty hard dealing with that tbh as just don't know whats going on in his head.  Would rather know how he's feeling and talk things over.  Just trying to keep him aswell as myself going at the moment as struggle some days myself!!

    At the moment I'm trying to take what Dr Ramsay has found as a positive.  I'm hoping he is able to try help and fix the issues he has came across.  This really is what we have been needing for year's someone to try find out why my dp sample is how it is not just being told it's this and you need icsi.  We have to trust Dr Ramsay well I do and I really do believe we were meant to see him.  From saying months back that was it no more treatment to where we are now just feels we may well get somewhere.

    Trying not to get ahead of myself as do need to be realistic but clinging on to hope and not ready to give up yet 💜 Back Dr Ramsay soon xx

    Offline Prettypink

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    « Reply #62 on: 11/12/15, 21:49 »
    Appointment with Dr Ramsay yesterday.   Early rise and up at 4am 😴 got flight down to Heathrow this time.  My dp had looked into transport from the airport to the clinic and had taken a note of two different buses.  Not wanting to doubt him but really was sketching about rush hour in London first thing in the morning!  Was strange being at the airport and not sitting at the bar having a drink all excited for a holiday!  When we landed we were greeted by a guy selling tickets for the Heathrow express and decided to just get tickets for that, it runs every 15min and would take us straight to Paddington then we would get the tube to Regent st then a 10min walk to the clinic.... 70 later but took alot of stress off knowing we wouldn't get held up in traffic and run late..

    Pretty nervous tho being in London where we don't know our way about anywhere plus the busyness but we managed ☺ plus plenty people to ask and keep you right at the stations..

    As for seeing Dr Ramsay, he went over the results.. My dp sample showed the numbers had improved from previous samples and the the count was 12million but with 79 immotile which ain't great.

    DNA which we knew he had but didn't know how much came back at 57% which is very high.  This could be because of the large varicose.

    ROS which I hadn't heard of came back at 13.9 which is high and  I think should be about 3.8 so with it being high Dr Ramsay feels even tho all the other test done came back clear he does feel there is some sign of infection /inflammation and so he has proscribed him with two different antibiotics.

    Testosterone has came back at 10.0, normal being between 7.6 - 31.4 Dr Ramsay does feel it's on the low side..

    Alot to take in.  Next plan of action is get varicose dealt with, start antibiotics in January then 3 months from varicose being sorted go back and see Dr Ramsay and see how things are.  Because my dp has some sperm he wasn't too concerned about the testosterone levels at the moment and really wants to improve the quality.

    Dp has always felt his testosterone was lower just from how he's been feeling and I think he may contact Dr Ramsay and see if he can get anything for it.  When you read up on it everything relates to it from tiredness, restless sleep, feeling low, not much of a sex drive.   We mentioned this to our last clinic and it was dismissed which is pretty annoying as we were told it wouldn't make a difference?!

    Dr Ramsay really knows his stuff and I'm so glad we went and seen him, dp starting to feel better I think and hopefully we see a improvement and one day we get that bfp.  Been a very long 6 years and we have been tired, drained and heart broken.  This is the first I've felt more positive in a while.  Even with our last treatment I just couldn't get positive and took a while to decide when to have a shot, no matter how much I tried to think positive thinking we went with the best clinic and tried absolutely everything I was still doubtful.

    A long way to go I know. We want to enjoy Christmas 🎄 and hopefully next year is a better year than the rest.  Will update when things are moving again as not much will be happening at the moment, for now it's time to relax and enjoy time with our friends and family and have a lovely Christmas xx

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    « Reply #63 on: 31/01/16, 16:24 »
    After seeing Dr Ramsay and having a plan of action I was feeling really good again and feeling more positive! Best I had felt in a long time but the last week has been a low week 😔

    Probably hormonal my af came this week which is always disappointing but it's the shortest it's ever been, 29 days which is great usually it can be anything from 35 to 43 so I'm chuffed it's shorter and just hope it continues. At least it gives more of a chance to try naturally..

    Just had one of those low weeks plus finding out a close friend is pregnant probably hasn't helped.  Just feel sad when out with friends and everyone talking about their babies and kids, nice to hear about them but feel Like a spare part not being able to join in all I can do is listen, basically feel awkward in a way..

    Anyway dp started Tamoxifen a few weeks ago to hopefully help with his testosterone. He was meant to start his antibiotics too but he wasn't feeling to great and wanted to wait till he was better.  He's taken the first course and now on second week of the second course not too long till he's done.  He's been ok he has been a bit peed off over the weekend and little things are annoying him.  Had a laugh about it today as I was taking the p saying he's hormonal 😂 😂 and he did agree now he knows how I feel!! 

    Now we're just waiting waiting on an appointment to see about the varicose feel like I'm on mail watch every day checking the post fingers crossed he hears soon not that he's looking forward to the procedure but I'm hoping and praying that afterwards we see a good difference in the dna damage 👍 and his sample improves!!

    Hopefully next time I update things are moving 😊

    Offline Prettypink

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    « Reply #64 on: 18/02/16, 20:53 »
    Not much to report!

    Still feeling a bit low 😳 maybe the time of year?  Roll on the spring and the better weather.   Think we had a busy few months back and forward to Dr Ramsay getting some answers and feeling on a bit of a high from it all where as now we're basically just waiting on appointment for dp to get varicose dealt with!

    All antibiotics done which I'm glad of 👍 tamoxifen was started but dp has now stopped due to being very irritable!!!  Yip basically hormonal lol so not like him too.  He did  cut back the tablets to every third day rather than every second but he still felt the same.  We spoke about it and I said just to stop, didn't want him feeling like that plus his count was higher than his last few over the years and I'm not too concerned as he does have a good amount, more trying to get what he does have better quality! He did say he didn't feel as tired as normal but he didn't think his sex drive had increased by any taking the tamoxifen.  Dp emailed Dr Ramsay just to keep him updated which Dr Ramsay adviced him to stop taking them as he wasn't too concerned..

    Afm looks like this cycle is gonna be a long one 😡😡 After last month it being about 29 days and me getting ahead of myself!!  My af was three weeks ago and I feel like I'm nowhere near ovulation Argh so frustrating tbh   saying that we've not been pretty active this month Def do feel my dp sex drive is really at its lowest 😔 hard going but just think this whole procedure has taken its toll..

    So another doom and gloom post really, not much more to say! The joys of this journey full of highs and lows x. Oh must admit that the last few days I have been thinking about adoption, not gonna start looking into it just now but could be a possibility in the future if this option doesn't work who knows xx

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    « Reply #65 on: 6/03/16, 19:45 »
    Mothers day. Lots of post on social media as expected!  Still not near my dreams of becoming a mother..

    Last week was a better week for me.  After having a few weeks feeling low I started to perk up! Two weeks ago I really felt terrible 😞  this horrible low feeling and no matter what I did or how I tried to think I just couldn't shift it!! Usually at my work I tend to put a face on it and no one knows any different but that week I just couldn't. I was so distant with everyone and everything and just couldn't control it!

    Anyway feeling better, well I was until my dp pi++ed me right off today 😣😣

    I had planned for my mum to pop round for afternoon tea, I was trying to get organised for it and work round about my dp who was busy in the kitchen too.  When he get stressed about what he's doing he's hard to deal with so I just let it over my head.  My parents popped round and I just felt my dp ruined the day with his attitude!  He was still carrying on with what he was doing and hardly spoke, litterly sat for two minutes to eat then went back to what he was doing.  My dad was trying to banter with him but because he was stressing he wasn't really responding and basically was rude!. Just felt he was an ^Booty^ and really should have stopped what he was doing and finished off after my parents were away..  Really am pi++ed off with him..

    My af due this week so I'm probably feeling hormonal too which is making me even more angrier. Could have just burst into tears earlier 😢

    Aside from my crappy day my dp has an appointment in a few weeks with the urologist so hopefully get things moving xx

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    « Reply #66 on: 29/03/16, 20:19 »
    Just a quick update..

    Had a nice easter wknd pretty busy..

    Dp had appointment with urologist, just a consultation really and a look at varicose which he said himself was large.  My dp thought he was trying to catch him out by asking if this was getting seen to because of treatment. Dr Ramsay did say that some doctors don't believe this effects fertility and would not do treatment for it and so my dp was aware of this and said no it was more for the pain side of things which is true as he does get shooting pains on and off..

    He should hear  from hospital in May which seems long but know it won't be too long hopefully!!  Everything is always a wait on this journey..  😣😣

    Anyways thats really it for now xx

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    « Reply #67 on: 13/06/16, 21:25 »
    So dp was meant to hear from hospital  in May for his varicose to get sorted.. No letter so after a few phone calls it seemed they hadn't recieved the referral 😐  so frustrating tbh..

    Anyway letter is in and he has app next week then the beginning of July.. 

    Was happy the app is through but felt pretty low, just feel the last few weeks when out with friends a lot of chat has been babies or pregnancy.   Usually try not let it get to me this much but really feeling it this last while 😓 so hard when all them have kids or some pregnant obviously gonna be spoke about and wouldn't want them not to ever disuss but pretty tough going. .

    This whole journey takes over so much and just feel me and dp aren't really intimate unless I'm saying and just feel it doesn't really come naturally the way it used to..  Know dp is under a lot of strain but just feel everything in that way has gone 😔  so hard bringing it up and not sure where to go from here.  Think at times your so focused on ttc that it becomes forced..  I'm just really feeling it at the moment and that is playing on my mind too. .

    So probably next update I'll be hoping dp has had procedure and all has went well ❤

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    « Reply #68 on: 4/07/16, 19:02 »
    My last post was quite low...

    After a heart to heart with my dp addressing the situation about getting intamite things feel so much better ❤

    I was feeling it and so was he, dealing with fertility is stressful and does put a strain on our relationship as much as we love each other it does take over your sex life and it becomes regimented and it becomes a chore..
    We both need to make more of an effort and try switch of from the whole ttc..

    Dp had his app last week and all went well.. hoping that the varicose embolisation has solved our problem and things start to get better and my dp sample in proves, fingers crossed.. I'm trying to keep positive but level as we were told it may not always work..

    He is experiencing some abdominal pain but hopefully that should pass..

    So for now I'm looking to carry on with a normal life and try put our infertility behind us for now, stay off internet researching and just hope our miracle will happen.. ❤




    Offline Prettypink

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    « Reply #69 on: 13/02/17, 22:37 »
    So here I am Feb 2017 and still no miracle!.. Not much has happened on the situation since my dp had his op but on a good note we have been to see Dr Ramsay and he was happy with how things were looking 👍

    He has repeated a few tests again mainly the DNA and ROS now for the dreaded wait 😒 really don't know what to expect.  I'm trying not to think about it but can't really tbh it's all been in my mind the last few months.  I've said to dp that 2017 we are definitely getting the ball rolling what ever way that will be.  We are so desperate for our own family and can't keep going through the years like this its getting harder and harder. 

    Feels like everyone round about is either pregnant or just had a baby!  Just no escaping at times esp when all so close by.  Just trying to get on with it but think when  will it be my turn to have that baby growing inside me and going through all the emotions and thoughts, having that baby in my arms and seeing my dp face 💕

    Dr Ramsay said he's aiming for DNA to be 30 and below to consider another cycle.  Every time I think of it my stomach is churning, this really is our final opinion and I trust Dr Ramsays advice. 

    I've just recently bought my vitamins again had kinda gave up on them but feel I'm now wanting to get my body in good shape cause either way I will be going through some sort of treatment! Till now all we can do is hope we get the results were need to go on with another treatment using my dp sperm  ^pray^

    Xxx