* Author Topic: Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP... ICSI Number 4 and still hoping  (Read 27267 times)

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Offline Prettypink

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Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
« Reply #70 on: 25/02/17, 22:08 »
After what felt like ages we got our results...

My dp sample has came back at 20mil, motility 49%, Vitality 61%.  The best we have ever had!!!  The ROS has came back at 4 which is normal! But the DNA is still pretty high at 44%!  We are really happy with the improvement we have got but just not the best results with the DNA..  Dr Ramsay has advised we don't head down the donor route just yet, he wants to put my dp on another course of antibiotics and Tamoxifen.  He had a course of antibiotics last January and tried the Tamoxifen but felt pretty agitated on them but he's willing to try them again  ::)

So how do I feel, at first I thought that's it really its down the donor route, something I am getting my head round.  But I really did worry when I seen my dp face when Dr Ramsay was giving us the DNA results, at first I think he was really gutted as I was I in away as I really hoped we at least got it to 30 to think about another ICSI cycle.

Now going over it all and and having a few discussions with my dp I'm feeling more upbeat.  We have never seen such high numbers which is a positive  :) now if the antibiotics and Tamoxifen do that bit then hopefully we get the DNA down a bit more   ^pray^ ^pray^

Whats next..  My dp will start the medication asap, Dr Ramsay wants to see him end of April to retest the DNA in the hope it's down enough to go ahead with a cycle with my dp sample!! (Dr Ramsay said June/July) While we wait we are going to look into a clinic, go through our consultations/test and basically give all our info that we have, as well as looking into a donor.  We feel this would be a sensible thing to do to have as a back up if needed.  I'm not sure what way it will go, my thoughts are have a donor match ready so that if we don't get the results we need then we still cycle in June/July using donor.  And if we are blessed with good results and Dr Ramsay feels Donor is not needed then we don't use it.  Or if we feel dp results are just ok we go through a cycle and use dp sample on half the eggs and donor on the other half, if the embryos with dp deteriorate then we use the embryos used with the donor if up to scratch that is!!  A bit a head of myself but feel when I have a plan in my head it keeps me going and on focus.. I would love nothing more than to have a family with my dp, but if not to be with dp sample, after so many years of ups and downs and many tears, we desperately want a family and if we need to use donor we both know this would need to be the way if all else fails in the next few months.

With the next step looking into a clinic I feel we're getting the ball rolling and something is actually happening!  :)

I'm also in the process of looking for snowball underwear for dp, sold out though  ??? hoping to get some asap!! Will try anything to maximise my dp sample..

As for me I'm back on my vitamins Pre-conception and omega 3's, I need to get some Q10, not sure what else probably loads more you could take in fact I know I could take more but I'm hoping the pre-conception ones will give me mostly everything I need!

Anyways managed to get a lot off my chest..  I really am aiming for 2017 being our year  ^pray^  I can't keep going on each year without our dreams...

xxxx   

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    Offline Prettypink

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    Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
    « Reply #71 on: 21/03/17, 22:23 »
    Last  few weeks been hard going just one thing after another :(.  Honestly never rains but it pours!!  Dp on his second course of antibiotics should be done by the weekend then he'll start the hormone one but only every third day fingers crossed! Last time he tried them he ended up aggitated  ^bigbad^ will need to keep out his way lol.   

    Dp will then head down to see Dr Ramsay next Month to get the DNA retested, he's just gonna go himself up and down on the one day as it's just too expensive by the time you add up train, tests and appointments! Dr Ramsay has agreed to do a telephone appointment for the results so we don't have to go back down but it's still 200 for a short phone call  :-\  all adds up plus we need to think about money for our next round of treatment..

    Dr Ramsay requested the dates for the DNA and i do worry it's quite soon after the antibiotics plus he would have only had a few hormone tablets by then.  Just feel it's not giving enough time but then what do i know he's the professional.

    I'm due to the Royal next week for bloods to check my hormone levels been a few years.  We're then back in may for consultation and hopefully with a plan of action! Scary to think things may be happening fairly soon.  Had thought abroad but i really feel it would add more stress on top of everything else, extra stress is definitely something we don't need!

    I'm loaded up on vitamins.  In the past i really just took the pre conception ones but I'm now taking vitamin c and d, omega 3 and q10 too.. DP still on all his plus we got his snowballs the other week  ;D. Snowballs website was sold out but managed to get them from a French company! Few issues with my postcode which held them up but we have them.  He's been a soul  and wearing them four times a day or there a bouts.  Said his Willy numb lol lol..  I do worry tho that the last few weeks my DP has been under a huge amount of stress which may have a bad impact on things as they do say stress can  :(.  I hope not but who knows..

    Not much more to get off my chest. The usual pregnancies round about, babies and everything else that goes with it.  Really just normal life for many​ a life i wonder if I'll ever achieve!!  Only thing really getting me through each day is hope xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
    « Reply #72 on: 23/04/17, 16:35 »
    This week we find out the results of the second dna test carried out the other week.  Not sure what to expect tbh.  The last few weeks been busy with other things going on so not done as much thinking/panicking but I'm sure this week that will all happen! Was terrible the last time waiting on that phone call..  I'm just hoping we see the dna down even more but who knows  ^pray^

    I've been poorly the last week and feel like shite! Period decided to show up yesterday just to make me feel even better  :(    bleeding heavier than normal to the point it was through my underwear even with a tampon (sorry tmi) really not sure what the cause is?!  Wonder if its anything to do with the new vitamins I've started? I'm sure I read q10 helps thicken the lining? I really don't know...

    We've had so much happening in our personal life the last few months some through no choice of ours.  I now worry if going through with the treatment soon is a wise idea! Typical we have a plan of action then things change.  No point in over analysising things just now, I'm just gonna go with each day at the moment!

    So next update will be results..   ^pray^ Xxx

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    Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
    « Reply #73 on: 12/05/17, 20:47 »
    So we got the results from dp dna test a few weeks back....    18%  :) :o :)

    I honestly did not expect to see such low results and we are both delighted!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Dr Ramsay was very happy too!

    So what next?

    We had our app at the Royal during the week for a consultation.  Previously we had spoke about our next treatment cycle with Dr Ramsay and it had been mentioned that we proceed with ICSI but have donor for back up.  This had been mentioned when dp dna damage was sitting high, now that we have it within normal range we could go ahead with just a normal cycle using dp sperm.  Dr Ramsay feels we should see better results this time round with dp results all being within normal range but he then again using donor to inject half the eggs and half with dp sperm will let us really see the progress and as he said more knowledge gives power.

    When at the Royal Prof Nelson was great, he went through all our back ground from start to finish with us providing all results from over the years.  He felt donor wasn't needed but suggested PGS, something I've heard of but not really researched as I haven't really considered it.  He suggested doing a long protocol where I inject to the max and try get as much eggs to then get to blast, do PGS freeze any normal and then transfer after a few months or go with a fresh cycle, see if we get to blast and decide from there if we use PGS..

    Mmm didn't expect this avenue...  our thoughts?  Head pickled with it all lol  :P

    So we could end up with no embies using PGS, yeah it lets us aware of any abnormalities but the thought to go through all that treatment without a transfer would be so hard and really don't think we could handle that!! Plus we have never made it to blast!

    After thinking and talking we both want to stick with our first plan.  Go for a fresh cycle, have a donor picked and hopefully i get a reasonable number of eggs (oh AMH was tested at 16 a few weeks ago) and inject half with dp sperm and half with donor.  If we get good embies with dp then amazing but if not we use donor embies! obviously hoping they are good enough.  I'm not getting any younger and i've always said 2017 is the year that one way or another we will get our dreams.

    We could just go ahead with our cycle with dp sperm but after all the years and many ups and downs you just never know what way it could go and thats why we just want to have a back up plan.

    Dr Ramsay has recommended that dp takes another course of antibiotics a few weeks before ec, I will contact him just to find out exactly when as we won't be cycling till July/Aug as the clinic closes a few weeks in July.

    After nealry 2 years of attending Dr Ramsay we are finally ready for our next ICSI.  Been 2 years past since our last   :o

    Nervous, excited, full of mixed thoughts but ready to go for it!!

     ^pray^ 2017 is our year, 7 longs years of ttc heartache, surely its out time!!  ^pray^ xxx

     


    Offline Prettypink

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    « Reply #74 on: 24/05/17, 21:28 »
    So since last time our plans have slightly changed...

    After going over our appointment at the Royal and deciding we wouldn't do PGS and just go with a fresh cycle with donor back up, we were told this would not be do able?!  I emailed the clinic with our plan but they responded informing us this would be against regulations  ^idiot^  Still don't understand why!  I'm sure I've read before where couples inject half with own half with donor and from there decide which to use.

    So we are going ahead with a fresh cycle only using dp sperm, he had suggested that if we get a good number of eggs we could keep some and freeze them so that if we don't get pregnant this time then we could use them next time with donor.  Writing that actually makes me think we don't have any faith in this next cycle!  ???  I am feeling more positive esp with all the good results we've had but after all the years of ttc and treatment, ups and downs I think we just want to have that wee back up plan just in case!  Not to always say the back up plan will work!!  Going to just try take it as it comes...

    We are due to the clinic in a few weeks to sign consent forms and probably talk about my proticol.  I've to phone on my July period and start from there.  Scary it's all happening soon.  Typical tho my af has decided to go awol  ^bigbad^  >:(  still yet to get a positive ovulation test!! so annoying as had been getting better and getting more in to a pattern but the usual Shite!  I've either still to ovulate or I've missed my surge.

    Really want to be able to just put it out my head and stop tracking my ovulation until we start the treatment, easier said than done tho!  And with me not being regular I feel its been a missed opportunity and will be ages till the next time! arfg I must try switch off!!!!!!!

    Nearly June, 2017 please be our year  ^pray^   ^pray^  xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP
    « Reply #75 on: 15/06/17, 20:14 »
    Halfway through June and the weeks seem to be flying by!  :o

    So we were at the hospital yesterday signing our conscent forms, blood taken and my protocol which is 7 I  think last time I was 8.  Forgot how many forms we need to go through!..  Not sure how I'm feeling, excited and nervous to think it will be all happening soon  :o 

    The plan is to phone on my next period in July, the clinic closes down for 3 weeks in july but by the time I'm ready for my prostap they will be up and running again.

    The issue I have at the moment is my period surprise surprise has went awol  :-\  after doing pretty well for months and coming every 5 weeks it's decided not to show up for nearly 8 weeks argh.  I had been using smiley face ovulation but didn't pick anything up and gave up even tho at times I had a lot of cervical mucus and the line looked dark I still didn't get a smiley face.. The nurse did do a pregnancy test last night just to check but surprise surprise bfn which tbh I knew the outcome but I still had that wee bit hope.

    I don't see me phoning the clinic till end of July beginning of August with my period as if I get one soon that wouldn't tie in with the clinic shut down and so I'm just telling myself Aug will be our starting month  ^pray^

    We are both just carrying on keeping healthy, taking our vitamins and trying to stay positive  ^pray^
    We have a quiet social calendar in the next few months which we are planning due to treatment starting soon, we have had a lot on and been drinking a bit more than normal so that's us, if anything will be a wine here and there but not much! And in time I'll be off alcohol for 9 months with a little baby growing 💙💗  ^pray^

    I'm thinking next time I update will probably be when our treatment is starting!!   :)


    Xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    Waiting on my af to show up so I can phone clinic and book in prostap (typical af not playing to plan) always the same 😨


    So a few weeks before starting our 4th cycle first in 2 years and we got the new that my future sister in law is expecting her first! not even a year of trying..  perfect timing! Well you know what I mean. I said to my dp everytime we've either started treatment or just finished someone close announces a pregnancy..

    Obviously we both felt it, only natural after nearly 8 years..  hate feeling like that but after getting over the shock, I was happy for her and my future in laws as they are delighted being they're first.  If I'm being honest I really thought we would have been the first announcing our good news, but then again I also had second thoughts of her being pregnant first! Not that its a race by god at our rate we will be last! Lol  got to laugh or I'll cry!.. no but seriously I had a good think after hearing the news and decided my focus is on myself, dp and our plans! and if it means I need to keep my distance  to protect myself then so be it! I've learned over the years that if I need to distance myself in certain situations then I will, not out of badness but really just protecting myself 😣 of course we're going to Get a niece or nephew which will be lovely but just at the moment distance will be my option at the moment just with the treatment not far away.

    Just really eager to get started, so fed up with all the waiting.  Both trying to keep upbeat and as I said to my dp I trust Dr Ramsay and what he's done for us leading up to this treatment and just hope and pray it's our time to get that bfp and carry on to have our own wee family 💕

    Anyways hopefully next time I'll be updating and we'll be started xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    So af showed up Thursday! Was booked in for profile bloods on Wednesday but had very light spotting so knew something was happening and cancelled the appointment.  Booked in for Prostap and Scratch the 24th August and hopefully back the 6th Sept for scan and to pick up injections.  Egg collection looks like the week of the 18th September.  Know it will be here soon but eager to get started!

    It's been nearly 2 years since we started attending Dr Ramsay and prepping for our next cycle.  I just hope and pray that it's all been worth it and we get our long awaited bfp and have our wee family  ^pray^

    I'm excited, nervous and scared.  I'm trying to keep positive but now again I think what if it doesn't work after everything  :-[ How's it going to effect us? we've already had the 3 bfn in the past which were extremely hard, 1st cycle probably nieve thinking it would work, 2nd going into it not feeling one bit positive and really just jumped into it as we were struggling to deal with our first bfn and just needed to try again.  The 3rd going private, thinking we were putting everything into it and again taking a few years to work towards it and prep to get another massive bfn.  Now here we are, 2 years past since our last cycle hoping we've made massive changes to get us our bfp but always a but!!  This is such an emotional journey and you really can never tell what way it will go.

    Dp started his antibiotics yesterday, he's on them 2 weeks then hopefully 4 week after he stops we will have egg collection.  I'm really trying to up my protein, still popping vitamins and trying to drink plenty water.  Dp still on his vitamins too and snow balling it up  ;D poor guy! He has been slacking a bit so I need to gently remember him!! lol

    Can I not just shut my eye's and open them when this is nearly done?

    I'm sure we'll have some more pregnancy announcements along the way too, of course we will always the case when or after our treatment.  What can you do but smile and wish them all the best and just hope it's our turn next  ^pray^ ^pray^ ^pray^

    xxx

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    Prostap and Scratch tomorrow, finally getting started!  Still a long way to go but know once tomorrow is done it will fly in..

    Issue we have at the moment, dp has came down with the flu  :-[  Sore head, ears and aching all over plus not slept the last 2 nights for coughing and sneezing, typical right before the treatment.  I'm trying to not over think it and worry that it's really going to effect his sample plus I'm trying to reassure  him that things will be ok.  We've worked towards getting his sample to normal ranges and just hope this doesn't have a massive effect on it.  He recently finished his antibiotics which he was on for 2 weeks, he started these the beginning of August to tie in with EC, I think something has been working on him the last wee while and with being on the antibiotics as maybe lowered his immune system hence the flu.

    He's got it now and can't do much but try get him better.  Why can things not go straight forward  :'(

    He ended up going for a bath today, something he never does.  Think he was so sore and run down he thought it may help.  I really wanted to text and say no baths but didn't, he feels terrible as it is and me constant reminding him will only stress him out.  Baths and  ^HappySperm^ with the issue's we have are a big no no  :-[  This treatment really does take over but we just don't want to mess things up and ruin where we've got too.  Suppose what will be will be, he did put on his snowballs straight after.  Honestly can't believe he's came down with this now?! Well I actually can believe as that's just our luck really!!!  Never rains but it pours but hey why stress about a situation we can't change really...

    Another baby shower at my work soon to deal with, just no getting away from it.  Future SL and a close friend pregnant, 8 years later and we're still on this emotional roller coaster, really 8 years? Whens it our turn?  Someone surely must be looking out for us and ready to send us our baby   ^pray^  Feel like this post has been a pretty low and feeling sorry for myself, full of mixed emotions tbh.

    So Prostap tomorrow, already major bloated honestly look pregnant at the moment don't know whats going on, more bloat to come no doubt  :o

    Hope my next check in is a bit more upbeat but doubt it lol unless on the off chance I'm knocked with a positive branch and things start looking up! Things were until my dp took unwell xx

    Offline Prettypink

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    I feel hormonal/emotional...  ???

    Had prostap and scratch on Thursday, was ok sore but bare able.  Both had bloods and that was it really.  Not sure when we're back for scan and to pick up meds, the nurse mentioned the 6th when she left an answer machine message regarding my prostap but nothing was confirmed.  I've phoned and emailed since Thursday but yet to get a reply which is kinda grating on me tbh, probably not helping the way I'm feeling.  I just feel we have no communication with the clinic, anytime I phone it's always an answer machine, then when anyone phones me back which is always later I miss it with being at work, this repeats constantly. 

    Can't remember feeling as hormonal but then again was a good few years ago so maybe I was?   :-[

    So now the wait for my af to show up, that will be the next thing! Probably be late as per usual!  Which isn't ideal as it will just delay everything else and knock our dates.  We've tried to tie in the antibiotics as much as we can plus juggle work! just hope it goes to plan.

    Can't believe we're back on this roller coaster, waited so long.  I have so many different thoughts going through my head, a lot of what if's???

    I need to try mellow a bit, try not over think it all and take each day and try remain positive  ^pray^  If only it was that easy lol, please please let it be our turn  ^pray^ 

    xxx