* Author Topic: Hoping and Praying ICSI 3 gives us our BFP... ICSI Number 4 and still hoping  (Read 27269 times)

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Offline Prettypink

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I'm PUPO   :)

We have 2 on board, 3AB and a Cavitating Morula.  We are so happy, I know they aren't amazing but we managed a transfer on day 5 and proud of my little embies :)

The last few days were terrible and I was really struggling.  I felt like I had gave up already but I honestly had it in my head we were going to get bad news and be told that none made it today.  The worry from Fri not having any update was hard going esp with us never managing a 5 day transfer but to get a blast and one not far away is a big deal for us.

The embryologist said at 9am this morning our lead was actually a Cavitating Morula, by lunch time it was a blast so amazing how quick they develop, hope our little one catches up.

I'm  ^pray^ ^pray^ for our little embies.

Please stick we want yous so much  xx



 

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    Offline Prettypink

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    2 days past transfer...

    Back to work today, was good keeping busy and kept my mind occupied! Did drift a few time tho so hard not to think about what we're going through and whats going on in my body..

    Going for a facial tomorrow, some relaxation  :)

    Nothing to report, a sharpe pain last night in bed and maybe a few little twinges down below.  Questions myself, is it really or just my imagination? or is it the progesterone?

    We want this so bad  :-[  I can't bear to think if it doesn't work.  Trying to stay positive and  ^pray^ my little embies are growing strong and become our little family.

    I try not over think, but the bfn creeps in and my eye's well up.  Surely this is our time? I'm so proud of our little embies, please stick little ones xxx


    Offline Prettypink

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    Had a melt down tonight  :'(

    Feel so bad for dp, he was great and just comforted me.  Just wish I wouldn't think of "if it doesn't work" as it's upsetting me but I'm just so scared if it's a bfn again  :-[

    Finding it so hard to keep positive, scarred from our past and just know what lie's ahead if this fails and worry how I'll cope as well as dp?

    I'm  ^pray^ our little embies have stuck and are burrowing each day, we want yous so much.

    No symptoms, again few wee twinges here and there but nothing to report.

    Week today till OTD.  We have spoke about testing at the weekend as we are both working on our OTD.  We have never tested early, think we said Sunday which I know is early but I'm sure by then it would show up, gives us a day to ourselves to digest what the outcome is whether it's a bfp or bfn without needing to go to work or anything.

    Please let this be out time, our first bfp  ^pray^ ^pray^ xx

    Offline Prettypink

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    6 days past 5 day transfer..

    Not much to report, no symptoms that I could say I've really noticed or anything different to shout about  :-\  I think by now I would notice something but know some girls don't get anything.  Think if I had something it would def make me feel like it's worked.  Actually getting annoyed at myself as I feel like I'm not confident in my little embies and actually had to remind myself last night that we have seen such an improvement with dp samples plus we managed a 5 day transfer  :)  so the positives are there this time!!  I've always believed in Dr Ramsay and what he does for people, helping them get that bfp.  I think as I've said in the past after our bfn in the past and being a bit nieve on our first cycle thinking it would work has left scars and has stopped us getting that excitement and positivity.

    I really don't know what to expect Wed and think after all these years are we really going to be lucky this time?   ^idiot^

    Today was the 1st time we have spoken about it in depth, dp is the same and doesn't know what to expect.   ^pray^ we get our bfp but not sure.  I asked if it doesn't work what next?  We both said if it's a bfn then we go to the review and see from there, would it be donor next?  We have seen such improvements and worked so hard the last 2 years.  I thought another go with dp sample or again try do half and half with a clinic that would allow that? Awk I really don't know, but one thing I have said is that if this time doesn't work then I'm not hanging about taking long breaks I just want to keep plodding on until we get our dreams plus I'm not getting any younger!

    All we can do is  ^pray^ for these little embies and hope they are getting cosy and we get our dreams of a family this time, our 4th round  :)

    I do feel better within myself after my melt down the other day, just felt so low.  Know if this doesn't work it going to be so hard  :'(  another heartbreak to add to the list.  I hope so much this is not the case but I'm just trying to keep a level for now and what will be will, I can't do anything but just go with my body and let it do it's thing.

    We were planning on testing tomorrow but have no test plus was then debating whether to just wait?? Well no test so maybe waiting it is  ::)

    Come on little embies please stay with us   ^pray^ ^pray^ xxx


     

    Offline Prettypink

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    Reading my post back really makes me sound like I think it's def not worked.  It's not so much that, think it's more just a way of coping with this situation, always having a plan not too far away if all fails.  A kinda way of protecting myself rather than having my hopes up too much?  I don't know?? I'll just go with it if it's making me feel ok  ;D x

     

    Offline Prettypink

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    Test day tomorrow..  I just know in my heart it's not worked  :'( 

    I've had the odd ovary pain and back ache the last 2 days which gave me a little hope, but read back my diary and I had that last time round about the same time..

    Had really hoped and prayed this was our turn  :-[

    So tomorrow all the agonising wait will be over, another dreaded tww over..


    Offline Prettypink

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    OMG Can't believe I'm saying these words...

    I'm PREGNANT  ^BFP^ ^BFP^ ^BFP^

    After 8 long years we have our first BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm still in shock and can't believe it.  I kept this mornings urine and we tested after work as we were both working and couldn't bear doing the test before work as I really was expecting the worse!  The line came up straight away even before the control line.  Both of us were shaking and couldn't quite get it was a positive, dp shaking trying to read the instructions  ;D  I then panicked as I noticed some pessary in my urine from last night and started thinking it was maybe a false positive so we ran to the shop to get another one and I used a fresh urine sample which was very diluted as I'm drinking alot of water.  PREGNANT 1-2 Weeks    ^pompom^

    No words can explain how we both feel, I know we have a long way to go but I can't believe after all these years we have finally done it xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    A few days after getting our BFP and still can't believe it  :)  Honestly feel like I'm dreaming, we have waited so long for this and I'm still on cloud 9!!

    Symptom wise nothing to report, breast are slightly fuller, struggling to get to sleep but think that's because I'm buzzing and wakening up before my alarm which is unheard of  ;D

    Spoke to hospital today and the nurse mentioned my scan being on the 8Th Nov  :) Don't know how I'll manage till then and mentioned to DP about going for a 6 week scan.  We have only done the pregnancy tests and just want reassurance, don't even know what my bloods are?  I can't wait to tell both parents but DP wants to wait till scan which I understand.  Maybe if we get 6 week scan and all being well we tell them after that.

    I'm trying not to let my mind wonder and start thinking something is wrong, the odd time I have thought and it scares me, that this could get taken away at any moment.  I must stay positive and take each day and  ^pray^ my little embies/embie are snuggled in.  We have so much love for them and want them so much!

    I'm going to do a digital test next week, I could be tempted tomorrow but don't want to end up stressing myself and comparing test!

    I honestly can't believe I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!  Thank you so much Dr Ramsay you are a miracle worker  :) xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    In bed eating toast and peanut butter 😴😴 been awake since 3.40 am.  Not sure what's going on, whether its related to the steriods I'm on.  Even though I've been on them since transfer I'm sure I read the side effects can kick in after a few weeks!

    Hope I get back to sleep or it will be a nap later 👍 xxx

    Offline Prettypink

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    Feel like I should be shattered after being up through the night but I'm not  :o  I did manage to get back to sleep after munching my toast!  ;D Really don't know if that's steroid related? Surely too early for pregnancy symptoms?  I'm sure I woke up to little cramps, couldn't decide if it was real or a dream! I think I'm going mad!!!!

    Busy day today, now for a chilled night. 

    We've booked a 6 weeks scan just for reassurance as feel in limbo at the moment, just want to know at this stage things are where they should be and everything is OK  ^pray^  And if it's 1 or 2  ^pinkted^ ^blueted^     

    I know I keep saying this but I still can't believe it  :) 

    Still feel normal, breast are a bit fuller wouldn't say sore.  I haven't looked at a decaf coffee which is unusual.  Just don't fancy it, whether it's because I've went off it or I know it's not good for me that it's in my head to avoid it.

    Usually eat pretty healthy but been trying to eat more veg, loving carrot's and hummus plus pea pods  ;D

    Need to get more steroids as only have 5 days worth, nurse hopefully phoning me back tomorrow.

    Def will do another digital test next week just for piece of mind, dp probably thinking I'm crazy lol.  We have waited so so long for this and just  ^pray^ my little embies/embie are cosy xxx