* Author Topic: NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread  (Read 83074 times)

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Offline itwillhappen2015

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NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #150 on: 21/09/15, 18:39 »
Hiya everyone
Just a question/query. We are in the no telling anyone camp. What did you do in regards to GP? I do not want it anywhere on my notes. Do I just say I had ivf, do I  say it was natural? Any advice greatly appreciated! Talk about thinking positive. Haha I am only having my ET this week!

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    Offline Fox Gloves

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #151 on: 21/09/15, 19:10 »
    Good luck it will happen! I am not telling my dr for the same reasons, I do not want it in my notes. I plan to say I had IVF (as I know this can make you higher risk for some things like pre eclampsia) but wont mention using DE.

    Offline bundles

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #152 on: 21/09/15, 19:11 »
    Hi Weffwild  :) you may get more specific answers if you ask on the IUI board.

    IWH  :) I'm not sure how old you are but at my age natural was unlikely  ;D I was happy for my old GP to know but didn't want it on my records.

    Xx

    Ooops!!! Edited to say didn't want it on my records  :)

    Offline Blondie71

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    « Reply #153 on: 21/09/15, 22:53 »
    Bundles has anybody outside of medical field (obviously they'd know about realistic cut-off age with oe) ie your own family etc ever questioned you if DE or not? I honestly think alot goes over peoples heads regarding tx they have no clue about in's & out's.

    Offline Blondie71

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    « Reply #154 on: 21/09/15, 22:58 »
    Itwillhappen prob a good idea to say IVF but no need to mention donor unless life of baby depended on it but that's highly unlikely x

    Offline bundles

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #155 on: 22/09/15, 00:07 »
    Blondie no, no one  has ever passed comment - well to me anyway  :) Generally I think that there are three reasons for this. Firstly I have a reputation for speaking my mind  ::) so most close family members wouldn't dare to be so rude ! Secondly, I generally don't look my age and people often think I'm 10yrs younger - although these days I look quite rough  ^eyes^ And thirdly, as you rightly say, most people don't have a clue  ;D I've had the odd generic 'youve left it late' to which I reply (if they're nice) Well we were having too much fun trying  :) or (if theyre not nice) Well I lost 2 babies....... Which is normally enough to shut them up and make them squirm  ;)
    Tbh I wonder how many people have actually heard of DE. DS is much more common, and yet I think people still wouldn't suspect unless you were a single lady mentioning ivf.

    Xx

    Offline Lilly83

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    « Reply #156 on: 22/09/15, 06:42 »
    Bundles I can't imagine you being the type to speak your mind? You always had me down as the quiet type  ;D

    You do look young though I can vouch for that!

    It's true donor conception isn't really on people's radar unless it was for like you say a same sex couple, when I told people they either hadn't heard of it or thought it was surrogacy

    L xx

    Offline bundles

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    « Reply #157 on: 22/09/15, 09:24 »
    Lilly how well you know me  ;D I actually keep quiet about my age now so that less questions are asked. People will often only see what they want to anyway.

    Xx

    Offline Blondie71

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    « Reply #158 on: 22/09/15, 22:03 »
    Yeah that's why I was wondering because I see so many women sweating on here about it but I honestly don't think it crosses peoples  minds outside of IVF world, I'm single so unless it was immaculate conception - hey well it kinda was  ;D I was up front as I had to shut people up from gossip and assumptions  ::)

    Offline Moragob

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    « Reply #159 on: 23/09/15, 09:18 »
    I agree with Blondie and my experience is that most people don't have a clue about IVF let alone DE/DS IVF.  I do occasionally get asked if I am my daughters grandmother  ^bigbad^ but now she's older and calling me Mummy people simply don't question it.   I do sometimes tell people that she is IVF but that has usually been in the context of people asking if we are planning siblings.  And now that I am obviously pregnant again their minds can't cope with the idea that it would be anything else.

    I have told and have had to explain exactly what DEIVF is as they really, really don't have a clue.  So I think most people simply take it at face value and assume that as you have a child it must have been a natural conception and if not then it is IVF (which a lot of people think is the miracle answer that works every time for everyone).