* Author Topic: NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread  (Read 84145 times)

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Offline K jade

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NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #160 on: 23/09/15, 09:51 »
I second this . Joe public really has no idea about IVF.

 One of my colleagues once said to me " do u think Michael Jacksons children are adopted, they look nothing like him" ^idiot^ LOL!
Somehow I don't think michael Jackson would have passed an adoption assessment ...

The majority of people would have to actually look up "donor conception" and read into it to find out what it is and what it involves
Especially so when it comes to donor eggs

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    Offline moonpig68

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #161 on: 23/09/15, 13:22 »
    Yes, not once have I been asked whether the twins are DE, only if they are "natural" and that's by complete strangers. I suppose people wonder about about IVF more when there's two. As for being mistaken for their grandmother...When the babies were just a few weeks old I was with my grown up daughter who had just come back from holiday, looking very refreshed, slim and tanned. I on the other hand looked a complete wreck - huge muffin top, greasy pony tail, baby sick on my top, bags under my eyes - and someone thought they were my daughter's. Maybe I didn't look as much of a mess as I thought I did... ::)

    Offline Blondie71

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #162 on: 23/09/15, 18:13 »
    Haha the granny thing is coming my way when they start school I'm sure cos where I live most seem to have had their kids around 20 so are a granny at 40 (sometimes earlier). Btw if anybody questions age a good way to fob them off is just to say IVF with your own embies that you froze x number of years ago, even medical staff won't question that.

    Offline Maltby73

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #163 on: 29/09/15, 16:44 »
    Hi, hope it's okay to jump in and ask your opinion please?  We are just at the stage of moving onto DE for child no 2. We plan not to tell so have been considering a Spanish clinic (it just doesn't feel right having other identifiable siblings / bio mother in the background).  That said, we have been fortunate to be almost immediately offered a decent match on a UK donor in a clinic we know well which is just round the corner from where we live.  I am torn between sticking with a clinic we trust / ease of treatment or start a fresh with an overseas clinic but with the benefit of true anonymity.  Id appreciate any views, particularly where anyone has opted not to tell but has used a UK donor (w/o anonymity).  Thanks in advance!

    Offline Orchid-1

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #164 on: 30/09/15, 00:11 »
    Maltby- if you use a UK Donor, I think HFEA gets told that the baby is from a donor and I think it will be in your health records. Perhaps I have misread your post and you know this already.

    i would prefer anonymity. That is why if I go to the donor route I intend to go abroad. My thinking is that you would quickly develop a trusting relationship with an overseas clinic. Maybe talk to/ go and see a couple of clinics abroad that you like and then make up your mind then.


    Offline Orchid-1

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #165 on: 30/09/15, 09:58 »
    Kjade - I was told by HFEA that clinics must tell them about OE and DE for each patient. They said it was part of their regulations. I guess if people don't send in the forms and don't detail their pregnancy, then it would be possible to drop off the radar. That is good to know. :)

    Offline Orchid-1

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #166 on: 30/09/15, 10:21 »
    I'm not saying to people lie to get out of being registered, but basically the current rules rely on the patient being honest and willing to report the birth of a child
    But none of its enforceable
    Lets face it ordinary people are not required to register their child with HFEA so uts a little unfair that we do.
    I agree. All the best. x

    Moderator note. Quote amended to protect anonymity

    Offline Maltby73

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    « Reply #167 on: 30/09/15, 11:35 »
    Thanks for your responses. So can I keep it off my medical records? For example would I have to tell the hospital as part of the antenatal process?

    Offline K jade

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #168 on: 30/09/15, 11:46 »
    No absolutely not. My counsellor was quite clear in saying its your info and totally up to u who u tell. U are under no obligation to tell your ante natal clinic
    Think about all the women pregnant by random men from flings and one nighters
    They aren't obligated to reveal this to their midwife are they? Its your body, your pregnancy and your business

    Glad to have helped.

    Offline Maltby73

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    « Reply #169 on: 30/09/15, 14:16 »
    K jade - that's great thank you :)