* Author Topic: NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread  (Read 83055 times)

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Offline Persipan

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NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
« Reply #350 on: 24/09/18, 06:23 »
emeds, I would like to just gently challenge the idea that all counsellors are trying to push telling on people. My plan would actually be to tell, but in my counselling sessions my counsellor made a point of exploring options for not telling, and what that might look like, as well. I suspect the approach they take is to try to ensure both approaches get discussed - so, for people who don't want to tell, that may feel as though telling is being pushed on you, but for me it was the other way around and the idea of not telling was brought out for an airing.

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    Offline Tinseltown

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #351 on: 24/09/18, 10:58 »
    Guys... this whole DNA thing... I seriously sometimes wonder about the sanity of people giving their DNA to commercial organisations who can find a loophole to give your DNA to other organisations freely. Giving away your info could make them way more money than the fee you pay them, so thereís a definitive incentive there that can only be reeled in by a huge amount of regulation... and even then, people donít shy away from doing illegal things (hence the prisons).

    To be honest, itís easy to be cynical when you see the whole mess about social media and data. And when you look into the past and see how innocent data capturing exercises were used for evil. A long, long time ago, the Dutch created a registry with details of all citizens (including their religion) for welfare purposes and this was well-received at the time. Guess what happened when WW2 happened?!?

    You donít want your data to fall into the hands of the wrong people. Even a seemingly good, democratic country can gather your data and later turn into an authoritarian regime... thatís very, very easy to imagine these days.

    The above lesson from Dutch history repeats itself fairly regularly. Obama asked dreamers for personal data to speed up the process of legitimisation. Guess whoís worried now that Trump is in charge?!?

    DNA means nothing. Why does anyone think being connected by blood is special? There are siblings who donít get on and donít talk to each other anymore. WW1 was pretty much one big family feud Ė things may well have turned out different, had the others been just a bit nicer to Cousin Wilhelm.

    I also donít get how people are so interested in ancestry. You are in charge of your own life. Whatever achievements they had Ė none of them are yours. Silver lining: whatever mistakes they may have made Ė none of them are yours either. Why bother looking any of that up?

    I think itís such a British thing to do, with some people wanting to find a link to monarchy or something. I donít know many people from other countries who care!!!

    End of rant.

    Offline emeds

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    « Reply #352 on: 26/09/18, 05:16 »
    Persipan, As I said, I don't live in the UK so I am not familiar with the counseling sessions just going off what was being said on this forum, but that's good to hear that they discuss both sides  :)

    Offline Stacey10

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #353 on: 15/10/18, 15:26 »

    Offline Stacey10

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    « Reply #354 on: 16/10/18, 04:07 »
    If you use that calculator and put in donors blood group and d/h blood group then you would 100% carry a rh- baby so Iím not sure  after that Bub is born if you would need to have the antigen injection for future pregnancies using the same batch of embryos.

    Offline Miss Sunshine22

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    « Reply #355 on: 16/10/18, 21:12 »
    Hi Destined,

    You would only need the anti-D injection if you, yourself, were rh- and carrying a rh+ baby. Women who are rh+ would not produce antibodies against a rh- baby: therefore you would be fine to carry a rh- baby and there would be no complications from having a different blood group.







    Offline Jeb1982

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #356 on: 12/09/19, 11:56 »
    Hi ladies.

    Hope you dont mind me jumping in on your messages.

    Me amd dh have been on yhe waiting list in the uk for 6 months but have finally convinced my dh to go anoard as i dont want anyone finding out about having DE.  I have not told anyone or will be telling anyone but just really worried aboyt having DE incase he or she will find out.

    I have convinced hunby to go aboard as i have heard it annonomus which i feel 200% happy with.

    The problem is my dh is self employed and after doing hours of research for Cyprus dh dont want to travel that far and haa asked me to look at Spain my friend has just been to IB in Alicante and is 9 weeks pregnant bit just wondered if you lovely ladies can recommend a clinic in Spain. I am live in the Midlands and my IVF clinic said they wont do my blood scans etc for an aboard clinic so struggling on this too.

    I want my DE baby yo be my and dh baby and no other 3rd party to be traced so aboard it is.

    Thank you ladies hope to hear from you shortly
    Many thanks Jeb1982 x x

    Offline Turia

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    NOT Telling the child, Chat/Support thread
    « Reply #357 on: 12/09/19, 12:47 »
    Hi Jeb

    There are lots of Spanish clinics so it may be useful posting in the section on Spain https://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=356.0

    Having used 2 Spanish clinics, my first advice would be to check where you can fly to easily.  You donít want to change planes and trains too often, and I speak from experience!

    I used Procreatec in Madrid as obviously the city is well connected to most airports.  However we also used IVI in Valencia which is a lovely place.  There was no direct flight there from Scotland but I think there was from Manchester.

    Work out travel first then look at recommendations of clinics, but remember that everyone always praises the one that got them a baby...sometimes a clinic can be great but just not work for you.

    Turia x

    Offline justjazzyjess

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    « Reply #358 on: 22/11/19, 18:32 »
    Hi everyone,

    If you don't intend on telling the child, how do you handle the question of is there any medical history? We will be using anonymous eggs so won't have any medical history to give anyway but would do you say, that there is none?

    Thanks

    Offline Stacey10

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    « Reply #359 on: 22/11/19, 19:07 »
    Yep thatís all I say, pretty much just go on my background, my birth father I really have no idea of that families medical background and I always just go on my fathers medical history because I forget lol. I think itís more for a rough guide for them unless there is an obvious medical history. A lot of people donít know their full parents medical history.