* Author Topic: IVF #3 ARGC: endometriosis & hypothyroid & our dreams came true  (Read 17643 times)

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Offline Flossy34

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IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
« Reply #40 on: 4/09/15, 12:34 »
I am feeling so bloody annoyed today.
I've heard nothing 'officially' from ARGC but I am left thinking I'm going to need more Humira.
I feel like I am waiting and waiting - which I know I am trying to be patient with but I am only human. Of course I want things to be right for my next cycle and getting my immune levels right is of most importance to me but it is hard at times. I know everything happens for a reason and I want the time when we start to be the 'right' time, but that doesn't stop me feeling frustrated to the core.
I am frustrated with everything. The failed cycles, the waiting around, the fact that everyone else has such an easy journey in comparison - present company accepted!

I have tried my best to be healthy - but I have had three alcoholic drinks. I have curbed my exercising but maybe I should have done more rather than none. I thought doing nothing was better - not to mention how tired I felt.

Gosh what a moaning minnie I am turning into today.

My friend asked me what we have spent so far with argc. I don't have an answer as my theory at the moment is that ignorance is bliss. I reckon it must be close to 3K though. A drop in the ocean I know but never the less. Come on body help me out here.


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    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #41 on: 5/09/15, 16:31 »
    Reasons to be happy.

    I'm not feeling so cross and angry today.
    I still have no feedback from the clinic but it's only been just over a week and it must be in hand as they have the results now.
    The benefits of having a fellow FF who lives locally is that they can prop you up a bit when you're feeling a bit wobbly. We met for lunch and I feel so much calmer and focussed again now. Thank you my friend!
    I think I had a bit of a blip. It happens to us all on this journey of waiting, hoping, dreaming.
    In my heart of hearts I know I want to be in the best state possible for this next round and if that includes more humira then bring it on.

    I actually started to list the reasons to be happy about a cycle in London in the winter. I wish the poppies were there again this year as I would have loved to have seen that sight.

    Shopping - the shops will be packed full of lovely treats at Christmas time and as for those beautiful shop window displays. Can you imagine?
    Christmas lights - the christmas lights are always so beautiful. I will be there on Oxford St with camera in hand like a proper tourist!
    Cosy hot drinks - I will be able to snuggle up in a cosy corner of a coffee shop and sip hot drinks - caffeine free of course!
    Somerset House Ice Rink - ok so I doubt I will be skating but I will be able to mooch on over and take in the atmosphere
    Liberty London - maybe they might have some christmas workshops I can tag along on. Wouldn't that be fun?
    The smell of roasting chestnuts in the air
    Going to the theatre to see a Christmas show

    I'm sure there will be lots of other things to see and do too. I was so eager to be in London during the nice weather but winter won't be so bad.

    Deep down I was just hoping everything would slot into place and the humira would work well for me. Its not worked badly though so that is definitely something to be happy about.
    Let's hope I can get everything sorted and on my way again soon.


    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #42 on: 6/09/15, 14:10 »

    The importance of the right diet

    I haven't been totally strict with myself since I've been on humira. Yes I've been gluten free and yes I've improved my diet, but it's nowhere near as perfect as it could be.
    I take a small mountain of supplements each day so that's good I guess.
    What I do need to do is tighten up my act and get super healthy.
    God it stresses me out just thinking about it. I mean there are so many differing opinions and just now I have totally blown my mind reading different views online.
    Apparently with my history of autoimmune complaints I should be eating an autoimmune paleo diet. So basically a paleo diet without the paleo  ;D ;D
    These high protein diets are all centred around eggs, cheese etc except guess what? On the autoimmune version of the diet you can't eat that.
    In the end I emailed my nutritionist for her words of wisdom. She will put me on the straight and narrow i am certain! It's all just so confusing.
    I think the crux of the matter is that I need to remove refined sugar from my diet. I don't eat lots by any means but I do have sweets sometimes and the odd desert when we eat out.
    I also have an obsession with Bottle Green Squash so I suppose that will need to stop for a while too.
    I will spend the rest of the day researching and planning some meals. My husband will be delighted with my 'no food' diet!!
    Well it;s not that bad - it's just one of those no nightshades, no grains, no diary type of affairs.
    He can always have normal food anyway.
    I'm the dodgy one in this partnership! Thank heavens he has no ailments that we know of. Phew.
    Sorry this is a bit of a waffle. I just needed to write a few things down before I go diet crazy.
    Wish me luck!
    I'm thinking that the sugar free bit is going to be a good start!

    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #43 on: 17/10/15, 15:22 »
    It's okay not to be okay.

    Diary I have neglected you a little of late. It's not you, it's more me.
    There's a few things I've discovered recently, the main one being I'm not much good at keeping a diary and I really don't know if there's a long term future for this one.
    You see I am fine when things are coasting and there isn't much going on, but when I am feeling sad or happy for that matter I just can't write. I am far to fearful of making things worse or at the opposite end of the scale, totally jinxing myself if I tell you about the good stuff. And there has been plenty of that. More good stuff than I ever could have dreamt of in fact.

    I'm not quite sure where to start really but here we go, deep breath.
    On 16th September I discovered, after one round of humira, that I had become pregnant.
    A total miracle by all accounts as I have never been pregnant in my life before and have two failed IVF cycles behind me too.
    It was literally the happiest moment of my life ever when I did the test and I very really passed out in shock!
    I rang ARGC and they asked me to come in for a blood test to confirm and sure enough I was very pregnant. Approx 6 weeks at that stage - although my periods are very long especially while I have been taking humira.

    I was desperate to share my news, jump head first into the pregnancy threads, buy a book about having a baby, and start planning for the arrival. But something stopped me.
    Intuition perhaps, or maybe just plain nerves.
    I recently read an article about a lady in America who became pregnant after two or three failed IVF attempts. It was a success for her in the end and she now has a little boy. She said something which really resonated with me, and that was, that she would forever be someone with infertility who had been lucky enough to get pregnant. There would be no shouting from the roof tops and excited messages across social media. I feel like I will be the same you know. Especially now.

    So my HCG continued to rise, ARGC put me on a concoction of drugs to help the pregnancy and I was given a round of intralipids as they discovered my CD19 and CD19 + CD5 had raised. All seemed to going along ok.
    I quietly crept into the clinic several times a week, sat myself down up the corner and slowly felt tears prickling in my eyes each time I was there.
    You see it's quite a surreal thing sitting in that clinic when you haven't been through the same process as everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I've had my difficult times as most of us there have, but good luck like this doesn't tend to happen to me, and it was difficult to swallow. I wanted to be over the moon, and truly I was. But after that first day and the first test and the feeling of euphoria, I just didn't quite know what was going to happen next. I remember so vividly sitting down for lunch with my husband and feeling like the biggest, saddest looking black cloud had been lifted and my world was no longer grey. I wanted to savour the moment and can honestly say I was living in the moment more than I ever had in my life. Call it a sixth sense, a gut feeling, whatever I just couldn't look beyond that day.

    And so as I am sure you will have gathered by now things didn't go to plan. My HCG continued to rise but sadly the pregnancy didn't develop. For what reasons, I don't know. Dr Sami said the embryo may not have been very good, another doctor said that the cytokines, although lower were still not in the optimum range for pregnancy. Apparently they are the most toxic of all and will zap a pregnancy in no time if left untreated. Or maybe it was just bad luck.

    ARGC realised quite quickly that the pregnancy wasn't going well and warned me of this. I didn't want to believe it and of course my GP said to give it time and that some babies take longer to grow. Deep down I think I knew ARGC were right but I had to give things a chance. Yesterday however it was confirmed that the embryo had stopped growing and that a miscarriage is imminent. I am now 10 and a half weeks.

    So there you go. Not much of happy story but some positives I guess none the less.

    What have I learnt?
    Because there's always something to learn isn't there. As tough and difficult as these things are.

    The two week wait isn't really the two week wait. It becomes the three week wait, and then the four week wait, and then the six week, eight week - you get the idea....
    I know I didn't go through the same process as I had previously but the waiting is no less difficult. There's always another blood test, scan, etc that you are waiting for. In fact in this fertility journey you tend to spend your life waiting - waiting for immune levels to come down, FSH to come down, Oestrogen etc etc. There has to be some way of making the waiting less excruciating and I intend to spend some time getting my head around this. I wonder if I should ask the clinic to call my husband with updates rather than me. I don't think my nerves can cope with it all!
    So there you go tip number one - get used to waiting because you're going to have to do a lot of it.

    Pregnancy symptoms don't really mean much. Well of course anything very out of the ordinary should be checked out but seriously things were pretty text book for me. I had a small amount of spotting one day but other than that nothing at all. No pains, bleeding, nothing. I was tired, hungry and feeling pretty pregnant. I guess what I am trying to say is don't panic. I know of lots of ladies who have experienced heavy bleeding and gone on to have babies, yet I have had none of this and things haven't worked out. I know prior to all of this any bleeding would have sent a shiver down my spine - I know the spotting did, yet realistically these things are often fine.

    London is a long way from home. I can;t really commute there as often as I have been. I will need to rent close to the clinic when the time comes. There is no being a martyr and getting the 5AM train every day. I did that at 6 weeks pregnant and it wasn't fun. I do however think that for most the super intense monitoring has normally stopped by then so I was probably a more unique case in that I didn't believe I could possibly be pregnant so didn't test until late on. It meant I was that much further down the line for monitoring and testing.

    Humira works and for all those wondering about taking it, I'd say if your body needs it then take it. I have never had a positive pregnancy test in my life until taking humira. It's no coincidence and the clinic were not at all shocked when I became pregnant. Apparently it is quite common!

    The daily monitoring looks a hard slog. I was a tired and emotional bystander but it really opened my eyes to the argc boot camp and the intense process which we have to go through. I'd be lying if I didn't say I am now apprehensive about it all. Is it really as hard and draining as it looks?

    I suppose I can't finish this diary entry without mentioning the biggest learning of this whole process.
    I can get pregnant!
    It feels weird to even type those words out. Like I said before this has never ever happened before and I seriously had doubts it ever would - via IVF or otherwise. Failed IVF knocks your confidence and your positivity big time. It makes you wonder about everything but my faith was briefly restored.

    So what's next?
    I really don't know. It's a waiting game for now. With my previous history of severe pelvic infection I just don't want to do the wrong thing.
    I may get in touch with ARGC and see what they recommend.

    As for the diary, well I really don't know about that either. I wonder how others managed to keep them updated during rollercoaster times. For me that would include the IVF process itself.
    But I do like to write a diary who knows. It's just the 'jinxing' idea I need to get over here!

    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #44 on: 21/10/15, 15:06 »

    I'm updating from my iPad. There may be typos ahead!

    I had to write because I've had so many lovely messages of support from lovely ladies on here. It's really so kind of you because you are the ones who I feel have an understanding of what this is all like. Nobody else understands. They just can't.
    It's so nice that you think I've managed to put into words how many of you have felt at times on this journey. I am a bit of a thinker I suppose. It's my downfall in many ways, but I suppose with a diary at least I put the thoughts into one place and can move forward a bit.
    I'm not going to litter the page with depressing things. I feel down and upset of course but I don't want to dwell on all that is wrong with my situation at the moment. I'm trying hard to keep a little positivity and courage though all of this. There is no other way.

    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #45 on: 27/10/15, 11:13 »

    I decided to get back onto the threads today as there had been quite a few posts on the immune one. It's nice to see it busy as I am sure there are lots of us hanging around with immune issues.
    I don't like to post on the cycle thread at the moment as I'm not at that stage yet, although I do keep an eye out for how the people I know are getting on. One has recently become pregnant which is lovely news.

    It's been a funny old week really and it seems odd to say that I really don't feel too bad.
    I keep wondering if it's hormones or something which are keeping me buoyant and happy! I hope not as I'd like this positive streak to continue if it can  ^pray^

    I went to the early pregnancy unit last week for one final scan and a chat with the nurse. They are now recommending medical intervention as obviously I can't just stay the way I am - as much as I'd like to in an odd kind of way!
    I have  follow up at argc at the end of November so I am going to start compiling some questions for them. I suppose my main problem was the fact I didn't start immune treatment early enough but then Dr sami said the embryo may not have been up to scratch either. I suppose I'll never really know for sure so just have to keep my head up and move forward. There is really no time for wallowing now as I'm not getting any younger and had been planning to start treatment at ARGC anyway. That will continue to be the plan I think unless they say otherwise. So, I must get this list compiled and some questions so I feel armed with more knowledge.

    I'm off the supplements for the time being although I am still being careful with my diet as the no gluten thing really seems to suit me.
    Somebody said the HCG may stay in my system for a while as it got so high and so of course that means ARGC will be off the agenda for a while. I suppose given what has happened there is a chance for things to happen naturally for us and I have to tell myself off when I start thinking it was just a total fluke!

    I think it is only those who have had infertility issues and failed IVF who could ever possibly see any kind of positive from a miscarriage! I hope it continues as I can't bear the thought of going down a dark hole of depression.

    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #46 on: 2/11/15, 15:49 »
    Be gentle with yourself, you're doing the best you can.

    I spotted this quote on social media this morning, which incidentally is my least favourite place to hang out these days. Is it just me or is everyone either announcing a pregnancy or moaning about how hard being a parent is? Not that I'm bitter at all! No in all seriousness I'm really not, but I do think people should think a little before posting. Tricky when you're on the other side though I'm sure. Rant complete, for now anyway.

    The quote sums up what I should be doing today. I'm having a less than positive day you see and keep getting cross about the fact I have had months of waiting, scattered with a glimpse of hope, followed by yet more waiting. I feel like I have spent the best part of a year waiting in fact. Life on hold, following diets, supplement plans, not going out and not drinking. Not living. Well, slight exaggeration there but I just feel a bit naffed off with it all. I think we all have days like this from time to time.

    And my operation was cancelled too so I still haven't had closure of any kind yet. I am in this awful, horrible limbo still waiting for the inevitable so I can't really move forward. 
    I don't like to moan, I am sure there are others far worse off that me but it doesn't make this bit any easier at the moment.

    I wonder how you dig yourself out of a hole once you get into one. I just need time to move forward a bit and to plan some nice things to keep me smiling.

    I know, I'll write a little bit about diet as I've seen a few things on the immune treatment thread about it recently.
    My experience of diet has been quite interesting. I've had endometriosis since I  was about 18 so I've always known it was there lurking in the background. I've also known that gluten free diet and general careful eating is known to help with symptoms of pain. But could I stick to a gluten free diet? No. I was absolutely useless.
    I had all good intentions but then I'd need a quick snack, or have a meal out and I'd be back to square one. It seemed impossible.
    Then I was tested for immune issues and the results came back saying I had raised cytokines. I knew I needed to do something to try and help, so finally after years of trying I managed to knock gluten on the head. It's like someone turned on a switch and I just did it.
    Without trying to sound cheesy here, it really is a lifestyle change rather than just a small change in diet. Gluten is an ingredient in so many foods and sauces - far beyond bread and cakes.
    I know there is no concrete evidence of it working, and a doctor will certainly not advocate it unless you have confirmed coeliacs disease or similar. But for me personally it seems to have been a positive change. Who knows, it may have even helped towards my surprise, natural ( and somewhat brief) BFP.
    I don't necessarily recommend binning all the bread right now - but if, like me, you have endometriosis and thyroid issues it may just be worth a try.

    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #47 on: 16/11/15, 15:01 »
    Hi Diary - it's been a while!

    I went in for an ERPC - evacuation, or whatever else it is known as a couple of weeks ago. The pregnancy wasn't progressing and the embryo/tiny baby stopped growing at about 6 weeks.
    Exactly about the time I discovered I was pregnant. Ironic and leaves me thinking did the bat out of hell trips down to London do me no favours or did I simply leave it too long to get immune treatment. Or maybe things just weren't meant to be. Over to you God - I know I will never have the answers.

    My first trip to the hospital resulted in me fasting, having blood tests and being sent straight back home.
    It turned out that somewhere along the journey I had developed something called Anti M antibodies in my blood.
    Now, I have been having blood taken for years with my thyroid problem and it's something which has never ever been diagnosed before. I've also had my fair share of operations so it seems odd that it's decided to crop up now at the grand old age of 36. I've begun to look into it a little and it sounds like it could be related to my underactive thyroid or it might be an antibody my husband carries, which was transferred to me during pregnancy. How bloody ironic that I get pregnant and all I have to show for it is a lousy new antibody to add to my collection of ailments.
    Anyone out there know anything about anti M?
    I have an appointment with argc later in the month so will have a chat with them too.

    So I went in for the ERPC a week later, once they had located, and transferred, blood to the hospital for in the unfortunate event I needed a blood transfusion.
    I was prepared to feel low and a bit miserable as the operation was drawing a line under what had been a pretty tumultuous few weeks.
    What I hadn't accounted for was feeling ill. Crazy as that sounds I always thought that it was a pretty painless procedure and I'd be up and about by the next day.
    Hmm not likely.

    The whole perception of pain thing is an interesting one isn't it?
    Takes me back to the whole HCG saga in fact (as in it is so different for everyone). And actually while I'm at it, I think it takes me back to the HSG saga too!
    I really don't know if I have a high or low pain threshold.
    I know I have bad period pain from the endo and that's a certain one. They call it stage 4 endometriosis for the medically savvy amongst us.
    When I went in for an HSG - dye down the tube jobby, I was literally terrified.
    I had read so many awful stories about it and was all geared up for some kind of medically induced torture session.
    It was, in fact, totally painless.
    As was the hysteroscopy and endo scratch thing I had done a few months later. Sure I felt it, but it was literally that short lived it was really nothing at all.

    So I am sure I could be forgiven for thinking that the ERPC would be a small, if sad, medical procedure.
    Nobody mentioned anything about pain.
    Is this an unwritten rule of the whole thing I wonder?
    If so I am sorry but I feel I need to share because I believe that with the right pain relief it can be ok.

    It took me about a week to be anywhere near back to normal and even then I was on a heady cocktail of morphine and anti-inflammatory medication.
    I returned to hospital on three occasions with such severe pain I thought I was on my way out!
    Dramatic much?
    But seriously this pain topped anything I had experienced before. Even a post operative infection which left behind a 13 cm haematoma which took 3 months to disperse.
    I'm just being honest. I hope I'm not frightening the life out of anyone here!

    I actually think the levels of pain I experienced are quite rare after an ERPC. I really do hope so anyway.
    The problem, I think, was my dratted endometriosis again. Everything is a little bit stuck together and so any kind of extra activity in the general area leads back to pain.
    It's the luck of the draw unfortunately.
    I was checked for signs of infection and all sorts of other things and apparently i am all clear.
    My lovely GP gave me a cocktail of tablets to take the edge off the pain and they helped so so much.
    Is it me or are the NHS more and more tight with their medication? The hospital sent me home with nothing despite me crawling the walls in pain.
    Seems crazy!

    It will be two weeks this week since the op and touch wood I am now feeling much much better.
    Totally pain free I'm not, but I'm not on any heavy duty pain killers now and hope is in sight again.

    My lovely sweet friend took me out on Friday evening and we ate Vietnamese street food at a new restaurant in town.
    She's been a real rock to me and guess what? She has babies from ARGC too!
    She made me feel so much better by simply taking my mind of things for a few hours.
    Amazing the friends you meet on this tricky journey.



    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #48 on: 2/12/15, 17:20 »
    Just a little update from me as it's been a while again.
    I try and keep myself busy and not obsess too much about the fact I am in this lovely little limbo land.

    I had my follow up at argc last week. All went well except they didn't really tell me anything - well nothing I didn't already know I suppose.
    They said that the humira may well have treated my immune issue to a degree hence the miracle happening. The fact they weren't fully treated could explain why I miscarried.
    The karyotyping will explain further I think. If the embryo was fine then it might be that my NK cells/cytokines attacked.
    I'm not sure how long the results will take to come back but I expect it will be a few weeks.

    They said I could try naturally, but their focus is on getting patients pregnant as quickly as they are able. So with that in mind they would recommend IVF, as soon as my immunes are under control.
    I think I am happy with that idea. A miracle would be very welcome of course but I'm not sure I could cope with a repeat of what happened this time with the miscarriage. It's a healthy baby I'm praying for.
    Talk about an emotional rollercoaster and that's before we even talk about the pain and general ill health.
    In fact I managed to get a really sore shoulder blade very early in the pregnancy and it's still painful now. I don't think it's related but it's just so uncomfortable.

    ARGC didn't really say much else. They think I will do long protocol and don't need another monitoring cycle so that's good I guess.
    I don't know what I was expecting. Lots of answers I suppose but I don't think there always are answers are there? These things happen and we often have no idea why.
    It's all a bit sad and horrid really.
    I asked about the killer cells which raised in the pregnancy but they didn't seem too concerned and just said I may need IVIG next time.
    Steroid wise their policy is dexa wosit during stimms and then prednisolone after text date.

    In other news I notice a couple of my other argc buddies have posted diary updates today. It's always nice to see how you are doing! I'm seeing another FF this friday so I'm looking forward to that too.


    Offline Flossy34

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    IVF #3 - can ARGC help us?
    « Reply #49 on: 14/12/15, 15:38 »

    I don't tend to read my previous posts at all. I think it's all to do with keeping my eyes forward and not looking back or dwelling too much on past events.
    Anyway I hope I don't repeat myself too much in my posts. Sorry if I do!

    I've spent most of the day doing my end of year accounts - yawn! And now I am procrastinating and writing a little update as I haven't posted for a while.
    What to tell you.
    Well. Last week, as I was mid shopping trip with a friend, dr Zara rang to say that she was ringing to reply to my questions I emailed her. That was news to me but on reflection I think it was perhaps an email I had sent pre my meeting with her. You need to be one step ahead with the clinic at times. They are just so busy, and I had totally forgotten to ask her about the email I had sent asking what she thought of the report on my frozen blastocysts from my old clinic. Phew that was a long sentence!
    So she rang to discuss the frozen blastocysts with me and her recommendation is why not try them. It will be much cheaper for us and obviously less travel back and forth to the clinic, which lets face it, is a bit of a trek from where I live. At 3bb and 2bb they aren't the best quality in the world but she seems to think worth a try - I have 2 3bb's by the way and 1 2bb so that's a bit better.
    None were from an argc cycle of course and I am in such a blumming dilemma about whether I dare to use them.
    All I read are posts about 5AA and even 6AA blasts at ARGC - my little 3bb's seem to pale into insignificance by comparison. And it's such a lot of money to spend regardless of it being a frozen cycle or not. I know I am going to need immune treatment.
    I know it doesnt do to compare but when you are investing so much time, money and not to mention emotion into this, you need to give yourself the best possible chance.

    I seem to have gone full circle as this time last year I was debating whether to use frozen blastocysts and then here we are again in the same situation. I would never have guessed all that would happen this year and I think if I didn't know what I know now I would certainly not be considering frozen. My body needed all the help it could get - or so I thought. And then it managed to do the job I always wanted but things of course weren't to be. So I really have no clue what to do. Here's my pros and cons:

    Pros of Frozen cycle
    Easier on my body - I have severe endometriosis so everything I can do to keep it calm is good. Stimm drugs can increase inflammation - I think anyway. But do immune drugs calm it anyway??
    Easier on my body - less hidiously early train rides into London
    Easier on our pocket - less costs as no daily bloods, scans and of course stimms drugs
    Easier on our conscience - we have three blastocysts that we made and froze. What will become of them if they don't get used. Will I always wonder what if?
    Easier on my state of mind - the stimms drugs were hard going and made me quite jittery and worried. It felt like such an emotional struggle by the end of the cycle.

    Cons of frozen
    Blastocysts not from an argc cycle
    Blastocysts not top quality
    frozen so may not survive thaw
    blastocysts not harvested from an immune cycle - could my cytokines have zapped them already?

    Pros of a fresh cycle
    Daily monitoring for optimum results
    Daily blood tests to ensure my body is doing exactly as it should
    Expectation that we will produce the best embryos possible
    Top quality blastocysts - I hope
    Top quality frozen blastocysts - I hope
    Immune treatment throughout cycle
    Confidence that I have done all I can for the best possible result

    Cost - of both cycle and travel/accommodation in london. Likely to be upward of 20K
    Risk of flaring up my endometriosis with all the stimms drugs
    Pain of flaring endo when I am being scanned atc
    Emotional rollercoaster of a full cycle

    It's odd seeing them typed out in front of me. Both lists are very different but the clear difference is that the fresh cycle is entirely based upon assumption. The assumption that I will be as lucky as all the other ladies I know of who have been uber lucky at ARGC. It's weird because my previous cycles - although without immune support, havent been disastrous. Everything has been ok until transfer and then of course I never got to test date without bleeding. Each time I got 100% fertilisation with IVF.

    Such a huge dilemma.
    Should add that DR Z said that if you have a frozen cycle and it fails you can always do a fresh the next month - sanity allowing. Where as you have to wait a couple of months after a fresh and of course you will need to start all the immune tests again.

    I wonder if any ladies out there can offer any wisdom to me?
    I just don't know what to do and Dr Google said that 3bb isn't great.

    I suppose a little voice inside me says I was lucky to have blastocysts to freeze, but I have always thought of them as my last chance saloon for some reason.
    What a negative way to look at it.