* Author Topic: Any advice appreciated!  (Read 1455 times)

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Offline Loubie1

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Any advice appreciated!
« on: 9/03/15, 22:53 »
Hi all, looking for a bit of advice from people who may have been through some of the same things.... ok so my story...

To start off with I'm single, and I started on the IVF process in December 2009 (at 39), shortly before I was due to have chemo following bowel cancer. I had to wait to use them after chemo (all clear now), but to cut a long story short, I ended up with 8 frosties, which I tried using in April 2014 - I had 2 reach a decent stage of blastocyst (1 excellent) and used both as the 2nd wasn't a decent enough quality to re-freeze - but I was unsuccessful  :'( It's taken me a while to decide what to do next, and the next blow was the donor sperm I'd used (and had spent 5 years thinking of how perfect a donor he was) was no longer available.

I still want to do this, I want to be a mum, but I'm now 45 (just) - my AMH is 3.5 and my antral follicle count was 30...the clinic I've spoken to has told me my chances are very low with my own eggs, and I'd have a much higher chance with donor eggs - and I don't know what to do. My gut initially told me to try again with my own eggs, but now I'm wavering about if this is the right option - and if I go for donor eggs then why don't I just look for donor embryos...

Any advice appreciated!

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    Offline chooshoos

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    Any advice appreciated!
    « Reply #1 on: 10/03/15, 09:22 »
    Hello Loubie,

    Firstly congratulations on on the all clear from cancer - fabulous!

    So we were in a similar position, except as a couple not single, but 45 jumped in to IVF thinking we would use own eggs, then when I started to consult the clinics and also did a lot of reading I realised that the odds are extreamly low, and where there have been medical issues in the past perhaps even more so.

    So we weighed up whether the time and heartache of going down multiple OE cycles with potentially tiny success rate (most docs told me 1 or 2%) and to a lesser extent the money was worth it vs. going down a donor route with pretty decent odds, the ladies on the forum really helped me make the decision.

    But I also did some soul searching and realised DH and myself wanted to have a family, and creating a mini me wasn't really the main motivation, and so DE was not a hard proposition for me, although DH was a little dissapointed.

    You have to follow you heart and your head, and the decision will be absolutely right for you

    I wish you all the very best luck in the world
    X

    Offline 2Buttons

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    Any advice appreciated!
    « Reply #2 on: 10/03/15, 09:44 »
    Hi Loubie, just my 2 cents worth having spent yrs on the forums. I would recommend you consider embryo adoption perhaps at the Czech clinics, my mate Snowrach is currently doing this (search her posts) and it was simple to organise and will be gentler on your body and as its already an embryo, there are fewer hoops to jump through. I think your chances of success will be far higher and far quicker.  If  you want treatment in the UK, embryos are harder to find and you may have to double donor create them. Good luck, whatever you decide will be right for you.

    Offline toptottyontour

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    « Reply #3 on: 10/03/15, 10:02 »
    Hi Loubie have you considered doing a tandem cycle?  That way you get to give your eggs another chance but if it doesn't work you have donor eggs as back up. All in the same cycle. I did ivf in the uk and from the start was advised to go straight to donor eggs purely due to my age. It didn't work out but i wasn't prepared to write off my eggs after 1 go. Also time wasn't on my side so i opted for a tandem ivf cycle at Dogus in north Cyprus. (There are threads on ff for Dogus under the Cyprus/Turkey topics.) I got a holiday plus IVF cheaper than an own egg cycle UK and a BFP to boot. Good luck in your journey and congratulations on beating the big C  ^hugme^

    Offline Furry

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    « Reply #4 on: 10/03/15, 21:56 »
    Hello Loubie
    It's a very difficult decision and I'm probably going to confuse you even further, but I am a firm believer that fertility potential is very individual, one 45 year old woman can have good eggs, another woman of the same age will have rubbish ones, I do accept that fertility does drop off a lot in your forties and don't want to give you false hope, but it not impossible (albeit very difficult) to get pregnant at 45. Your AFC is really very good for your age and all the Drs will say go straight to donor eggs simply because they're worried about the quality of the eggs. What is your FSH level? x

    Offline Altai

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    « Reply #5 on: 10/03/15, 22:00 »
    Hi Loubie - I am in a similar to yours situation, single and same age.
    Your afc looks amazing thou obviously age is a huge issue.
    I've already done 8 Ivfs still no luck.

    I am now doing embryo banking with oe, so I could freeze all resulting embryos and use them in the future for combo oe/de cycle.
    I've been advised against tandem as lower chances. But mainly because of  my current financial and job situation. Can't afford get pregnant now.
    Embryo adoption perhaps is the most cost efficient way but you won't have lot of say in donors selection criteria.
    Best of luck with your decision.

    KR

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    Offline beattie2

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    « Reply #6 on: 10/03/15, 22:22 »
    Hi Loubie

    It's a difficult one. Your AFC looks great. I guess a lot of it depends on how you feel about donor eggs/ embies and if you would be in a position/ willing  to change course if you tried with your own eggs and were not successful. At 45 your chances with your own eggs will be alot lower (most clinics quote less than 5% at 45) however it is not impossible. If you want to try with your own eggs you could look at cycling with a clinic that has good expereince with "older" ladies. Good luck
    Bx

    Offline Loubie1

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    Any advice appreciated!
    « Reply #7 on: 17/03/15, 23:16 »
    Hi all, thanks for all the replies, sorry it's taken me a while to respond - started new job recently which has taken up much of my thinking time - not what I need right now, so need to get back to priorities and make some decisions - feeling the time pressure though.

    Furry - I believe my FSH was 9 - which I think is quite good too?

    I've been talking to Lister in London - I live in the Isle of Man though, so wherever I go I have to travel too!

    Is there anywhere in the UK that will do embryo donation for single women does anyone know? Or do any of the clinics abroad do non-anonymous embryos?

    I've not heard of tandem cycles before so I think I do have a few more things to look into....and finances to consider, to decide if I try once more with OE, then switch to DE ....keep hoping the decision will become clear to me soon! x

    Offline Kitan

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    « Reply #8 on: 18/03/15, 13:45 »
    I agree with Toptottyontour.  I'm going for a tandem cycle in Dogus, Cyprus after 2 failed OE cycles in the UK.  I always said I'd give my own eggs once last chance (I'm 40).  If my response is rubbish at least I've got a young donor to fall back on.  Good luck with whatever you choose. x