BFP - Due date January / February 2016

[Dragonfly32]

P.S Welcome Lawmonkey

[FertilityFriends]

[Lawmonkey]

Lawmonkey,
Actually lucky you, in the first trimester we are not supposed to gain anything, or even lose some. I, in the contrary, ate huge portions of home made food, including pasta. So I gained 5kg, which immediately alarmed my doctor and I was told to watch weight. However, in the 2nd trimester things are more real, and occasionally I eat unhealthy - pizzas, pastas (in the good Italian restaurants), fruits only for dinner. I also can't manage 5 -6 meals per day, cause I don't have enough appetite. I just eat what I want, but I am trying to have a balance somehow, protein, good fats, carbs and sources of vitamins and calcium every day.
Somebody is in the 2nd trimester, when there are less cravings, and asked for guidance for food beneficial for a baby in the first place. I personally think that being supportive is to give that guidance, rather than say, oh junk food is fine. I guess, it's a cultural difference, but you totally confuse a person who asked for advice on healthy food and instead got "support" for her unhealthy dieting habits. Well, I guess that makes everyone feel better, and that's the most important in this country? And someone who actually tries to help, is perceived as "negative"?

In fact weight gain in the first trimester is usually 4-5lbs then 1lb per week thereafter so yes I should have gained weight. If you think throwing up day and night is lucky, shaking because you desperately need food but being unable to keep something down is lucky then I'm clearly missing something.

You know I spent ages trying ensure my response was not too negative going over and over the wording but I don't know why I bothered. You keep blaming opinions that don't suit yours on culture and in my honest opinion seem very none to fond of the uk in many of your posts. Maybe it is a culture thing and maybe I am misunderstanding your intentions but it seems to me from prenatal vitamins, to working mums, schooling, massage and now diet you push your opinions on way too strong.

I'm just trying to get across the point that regardless of age, single/married etc we all have differing approaches and none of us are wrong as we are not out drinking and taking drugs. We actually care enough about our little ones to spend time on a forum dedicated to it. I will be going back in my hole as I have better things to do than get in a debate with someone who is clearly never wrong.

If you want to continue this debate then you are on your own as all I was trying to do was speak up for the little person the type of person that would love to ask for support but would be now too worried of being made feel guilty. I'm not condoning it but yeah I'm saying it's ok for now if u are struggling to eat and can manage something then go right ahead. Should a habit be made of it, no. Should we eat that much we gain 60lbs no.

Hope you all have a healthy pregnancy I look forward to reading about how you all get on.

*Thanks Dragonfly

[loulu28]

well said, and well put, Law Monkey.

[Yana]

I wouldn't care about putting my opinion too forcefully if that would mean someone would get a good advice rather than "any rubbish is fine". Lawmonkey, if you eat rubbish that does not mean everybody should think that eating rubbsih is ok for a baby. Sorry that you have to eat rubbish.
As for the prenatal vitamins, that is the opinion of my doctors, and I stressed that. The doctors whose success levels of IVF are much higher than average by the way. Thanks to them I TTCed for half a year, and it was just my instinct to help others. You want the toxic dosis of vitamins? Go ahead!
Working mums and schooling - these things are totally different in my culture, and I don't think that the British system is superior in every single respect, as you seem to think, so I just explained why I can't fully follow the British system, or have doubts.
Why massage bothered you, I have no idea. You don't want massage - fine. Don't shut me up, if I say I want it, and if I say my doc recommended it.

[10fingersand10toes crossed]

well said, and well put, Law Monkey.

Ditto. I don't have the energy to justify my personal decisions on my previous or current pregnancy choices to one person.

[Lawmonkey]

Thanks LouLou and 10fingers x

[Snowy white1]

I think Lawnmonkey makes some excellent points (welcome by the way)

As for vitamins being toxic I think that rather than blindly believing doctors (who are all just people with opinions after all) you should read some of the science on the topic. For every 1 paper you find showing that they do not help, there are probably 10 showing their efficacy. I'm not saying that taking vitamins should replace a healthy diet but just that there is lots of evidence suggesting they do have benefits and little robust evidence demonstrating they do any harm. I prefer to trust in science rather than opinion.

[SaniNK]

Good morning ladies, I hope everyone is well .

We had our 20 weeks scan this week and we are exoexting baby girl . Grey could you kindly update front page for us also also EDD is now 11.01.2016. It would be great number for birthday if she comes on time.

We did have a bit of scare at our scan on Thursday, they said baby has an issue with lower back. We were straight away sent to St George's for specialist scan. It was so stresful, but lucky we were seen by St George's yesterday and after 1 hour of scan and 2 specialists all turned out to be fine, they will re do the scan in 8 weeks for safe side but really could not find what local hospital was saying. It was such a relief at the end, those were most 2 stresful days on my life. It looks like we will never be able to relax until she is here .

[Greyhoundgal]

Ladies

I don't normally wade in as you know, just lurk in the background  but as mod, I just want to say can we get this thread back to your normal happy sharing and supportive thread?  There have been a lot of strong opinions here and whilst everyone is entitled to their own opinion, we are not entitled to force it on other people. It's great to share our ideas and what we have learnt elsewhere especially as all the ladies here are at various different stages over a two month period but let's not frighten people into not posting at all because those of us with the strongest opinions are dominating the thread.

As a final aside and then let's have no more heated debate, I do think that in an ideal world we would all eat a healthy diet with the right amounts of protein per day and fruit and veg. The reality is that some feel so sick that getting any calories at all is a mammoth job.  As the baby will take everything in needs from your bones and fat reserves if the right things aren't given, the only person it hurts is you. My consultant said that she would rather her patients ate than tried to eat good things and then throw them up again.  So no need to feel guilty.......every one of you has strived to get pregnant with these precious babies and will do all we can to protect them.

Happy chatting ladies 

Grey xx

[Greyhoundgal]

SaniNK - congrats on team pink - I've updated your date on the front hun 

10fingers - delighted you could come back to the thread 'officially'  I've popped you on the front 

Lawmonkey - congrats on your pregnancy  and welcome to the thread   

Happy chatting 

Grey xx