* Author Topic: ICSI #3&4 diary  (Read 10878 times)

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Offline CharlieJ

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ICSI #3&4 diary
« on: 20/07/15, 21:34 »
Well here we go again. Simply put I've had 2 chemical pregnancies with my previous 2 ICSI cycles. After a plethora of tests tests there is apparently nothing 'wrong' with me. Good hormone levels, good ovulation naturally, good thick endometrium at the right time, clear HSG with clear tubes, no infections, great ovarian reserve, no blood disorders (full thrombophillia screen), normal chromosome analysis (me and fiancÚ). The only slight issue was fiancÚ's initial sperm analysis was a normal count but some has slow progression but by no means terrible. Essentially we have unexplained infertility but considering slight male factor ICSI is recommended.
So do I take the 2 chemical pregnancies as bad luck or an implantation issue or non viable embryos?
FYI both cycles I had great quality blastocycts. 1 transferred with 1st cycle , 2 with the 2nd cycle. Both times I had a BFP on OTD but bled heavily within 6 weeks. What's going on!!!!???
So he we are praying and hoping for number 3 to be the one. To be honest I don't think I could go through this again.
Changes to this cycle include an endometrial scratch, assisted hatching and 'embryo glue'. Surely if it's an implantation issue this should solve it!!? Oh also bi- weekly acupuncture. To say the next few months will be costly is an understatement.
I think during this cycle it will be interesting to rate my stress levels on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the most stressed. At the moment (this evening) I'd put myself at a 5 (earlier at work it got quite high- probably a 7).
The anticipation is swinging me from happy and optimistic to anxious and upset. Bit of a mess really.
Tomorrow is quite significant- the delivery of the drugs.....

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    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #1 on: 21/07/15, 20:13 »
    After being told my fertility drugs were being delivered between 8am-1pm I was a bit annoyed when they arrived at 3.30pm in a GIANT box (the size of a microwave). What's worse is that I had them delivered at work and was hoping for it to be a bit more inconspicuous! Ah well they are here now. Had a check through and confirmed all the drugs were present and correct. Brought back some memories of wincing as fiancÚ jabs in the needle into my tummy.
    Start the Northisterone tablets tomorrow. I have a weeks supply of these. Start sniffing Buruselin spray on Friday too. Oh joy. As it's now the third time of all the drug taking I am a lot less anxious about the effects of the drugs. Part of me is happy to be cycling again solely because it might be the cycle to get our take home baby. But a large part of me is annoyed at having to go through another rollercoaster cycle and simply not knowing if it will work.
    FiancÚ is in the kitchen making me dinner. I think he can tell I'm a bit anxious about things. Poor thing doesn't really know how to help me though the cycle. Bit annoying though isn't it? They just have to turn up on the big day and do their business! Any how I should take things out on him.
    Keep saying to myself that IVF only gives us the opportunity to have a baby and is not a given thing. It's just sodding annoying to have to go though it. I really want to be one of these people who go through life with rose tinted glasses but at the moment it's just feels like wading through s**t.
    All I can say is BRING IT ON INFERTILITY  ^bigbad^ ^bigbad^
    Oh stress level check... Probably about a 4. Not bad.

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #2 on: 23/07/15, 00:01 »
    Oooops bit of a late one. Had a friend over for dinner. Started Northisterone today. Did a pregnancy test this morning 'just in case'... of course it was negative. Not feeling much different. A bit tired but that's just down to having a couple of busy days at work.
    Tomorrow is endometrial scratch day. Really not looking forward to it. I'm rubbish patient. Very precious and everything hurts. Luckily fiancÚ is coming with me so he can drive me home afterwards if I'm feeling a bit off colour. Let's hope it's worth it this time. I'm really ready to start my family now.
    Stress levels about a 5- might be due to the small glass of red wine I've had. Will probably peak just before scratch. Wish me luck!! 🍀🍀🍀🍀

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #3 on: 23/07/15, 18:25 »
    Well that was not pleasant at all. Felt a bit like having a double sided razor blade scratching my uterus. I would say about a 8/10 on the pain scale but it didn't last long. Unfortunately I had a bit of a dizzy spell after the procedure and had to lie down for 30mins! Embarrassing. Staff were great with me though.
    Back home now fiancÚ has made me a sugary tea. Chilli for dinner tonight too so looking forward to that.
    Have a viewing on the house tomorrow (trying to sell our lovey house for a bigger lovelier one to fill with babies and pets). Trying to help tidy up but feeling a bit sore!
    Start nasal spray tomorrow. They asked if I would like to do a daily injection rather than doing 6 sniffs a day. In my opinion the less needles the better so I declined!
    Also I start my new job soon (10th August) essentially I will be planning radiotherapy treatments rather than doing all the treating of the radiotherapy  treatments. (Promotion & I get to sit down mostof the day!).
    So some exciting stuff happening too. Good to take my mind of purely babies and fertility treatments (although difficult when sniffing drugs every 4 hours).
    Stress levels about 4/10. Perhaps feeling a bit better about doing something active to help achieve our goal of having a family.

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #4 on: 24/07/15, 21:21 »
    Day one of sniffing. Feeling very tried today. Perhaps to do with body trying to repair scratch? Or just because work has made me tried. Considering going to bed soon.
    I have had what feels like dull period pains today some quite spiky pains. It's seems strange that this scratching business is done at this stage. You would think that by the time the transfer happens the lining will be fully repaired and normal again. Hey ho if the research has shown a significant difference then I guess it's worth a try.
    I been seeing an acupuncturist who has been needling my lower abdomen and some points down my legs. He has also reccommended I use a TENs machine 2x week to help stimulate my uterus. I'm supposed to be doing it tonight but things feeling a bit sore. Perhaps I'll just do it on a lower setting.
    Got a few friends coming over tomorrow evening for a BBQ. hopefully the rain will stay away. Ordered some lovely meats and salad to make up tomorrow. I just hope they don't ask me about IVF treatment. I feel uncomfortable talking about it now. Gives me anxiety to talk about it with people who don't truly understand the pain of the journey.
    So really the next couple of weeks will be just sniffing and hopefully having a withdrawal bleed from the Northisterone. Blood test booked to 2 weeks time to get the go ahead for stimulation injections.
    Stress levels about a 4/10. Still early days  :-\

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #5 on: 26/07/15, 12:07 »
    Note to self- do not attempt running 2 days after an endometrial scratch. 10 mins in and started aching horribly in lower tummy- bit like a constant period cramp. Perhaps for this week I will just do light weights and a light spinning session.
    Lovely BBQ last night. Luckily it didn't rain. Stayed up chatting in candlelight till late.
    Today I'm starting to over think things already wondering what the outcome of this cycle will be. Just worrying in general. Need to find some ways to relax that doesn't involve running!

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #6 on: 31/07/15, 20:16 »
    An up and down couple of days. Might be due to expected withdrawal bleed from Northisterone. Feeling optimistic one minute then upset and angry for believing it could actually work this time. Trying not to take it out on fiancÚ but it's putting a lot of pressure on our relationship at the moment.
    Been very tearful. Cried at a fluffy seal giving birth!! 🙈
    Slightly higher stress levels 7/10. Was quite high last night like 8/10.
    Saw acupuncturist on Tuesday and wondering if it's a load of mumbo jumbo or actually helping.

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #7 on: 2/08/15, 19:38 »
    Withdrawal bleed started today. A bit headachey and tight neck muscles (normal for me). FiancÚ has agreed to give me a neck massage before dinner tonight. Still sniffing away. Feeling a bit less emotional. Did some wedding planning and looking through honeymoon brochures (but who knows we could have twins this time next year) wishful thinking!
    Going to bcrm to get my bloods checked on Thursday. If all ok then will start stimulation phase.
    Then it all gets a bit serious and scary..... Oooooo why am I doing this again?
    Stress levels 5/10.

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #8 on: 11/08/15, 20:29 »
    Haven't posted for few days but blood test was ok and I started stimulation injections on Friday. Basline scan to check follicle growth on Friday. Hopefully getting nice and juicy. I've been suffering quite a lot with headaches and hot flushes. Also had a bit of an upset tummy yesterday. I didn't suffer much on my previous cycles not sure why it's different this time. The only different thing I've had done is the endometrial scratch. I'm on alternating doses of Menopur 75 then 150 becasuse I was close to over stimulating on my first cycle. It means doing injection for a bit longer but the eggs seem to be less in number but better sizes. Hopefully will get some good ones with this cycle.
    I'm doing that thing again where I wonder if this one will work or not. I keep worrying about the fallout if it fails again. Also worrying about egg collection day as I find this the most painful bit and to recover from.
    MUST STAY POSITIVE.
    Stess levels about a 5/10 today. Actively trying to talk myself calm.

    Offline CharlieJ

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    ICSI #3 diary
    « Reply #9 on: 14/08/15, 22:23 »
    Baseline scan shows 6 follicles on right and 4 on left. All still very small. Upping Menopur dose to 150 per day. Next scan Monday. Hopefully they will have beefed up a bit.
    For the past couple of days I have woken up then felt a sense of dread when I realise that I'm on an IVF cycle. There is a small hint of optimism in there but mostly fear and anxiety.