ICSI #3&4 diary

[CharlieJ]

Bit of a catch up- Monday's scan went well. More eggs and they are fattening up- about 12 follicles measuring between 6-14mm. Going in for 3rd scan tomorrow morning to check progress- if they are the right size then egg collection will be on Friday. Hopefully I won't have to coast over the weekend.
Feeling rather bloated tummy is tight and hard. The injection sites are getting a little sensitive as my trousers press on them at work. Baggy clothes from now on.
I had an hour of acupuncture this evening in my tummy, down my legs and a few calming one in my head. Did the trick. Feeling rather chilled. Had a nice bubble bath. Fiancé is cooking me a chilli for dinner.

Getting a bit fed up of driving to the clinic as its about an hour door to door. But hey ho if it works this time it will all have been worth it. Sometimes I think I am crazy going through this again straight after I had just recovered from the previous cycle. Absolute mental torture.

I keep telling myself that I am calm and to try and keep it together but inside there is a lot going on.

[FertilityFriends]

[CharlieJ]

Well scan on Weds showed a better response, I was re-scanned on Friday and booked in for EC on Monday. Seems to be about 10 eggs that will be ready. Did my trigger last night and today I can enjoy a drug free day! Feeling quite calm and keep wondering if this is our time!?

Off work next week to recover from EC and to have a couple of lazy days after ET.

[CharlieJ]

Wowzers my clinic managed to find 24 eggs at egg collection. They said if they had found 1 more egg they would have frozen the whole cycle due to risk of OHSS. But apparently I am high risk anyway due to the amount of eggs I have got so they have given me a tablet to take to help reduce this risk of it happening.  That said I'm feeling terribly bloated and tired today but managed to walk into town with my Fiancé for lunch.
My Clinic will phone me tomorrow to let me know how many embryos we have. Hopefully we might get some to freeze this time. I had a discussion with our consultant and it's been agreed that 2 embryos or blastocycts will be transferred due to the fact I had 2 put back last time and nothing really came of it. She did say that if one blastocyst 'takes' then it's likely the other will too. So essentially she indicated that we will either have no babies or 2! However I have read so many stories on ff where 1 twin has stopped growing but the other survives. I'm not sure why I am thinking about this now as a BFP is still a way off at the moment.
I've been reading some of the ICSI success stories to help me stay positive but worried about another CP or worse. What if it never happens for us?!
Stress levels about a 6/10 but haven't really got the energy to work myself up too much!

[CharlieJ]

Oh dear I've not been very good at updating. This is mainly due to the fact that I have been terribly ill. Warning TMI... I hadn't been to the toilet since EC on Monday! Very constipated. So much so I have had serious tummy cramps and vomiting twice this week. I was about to go in to A&E last night due to the state I was in but suddenly......yay. So all good today if not a bit washed out.

I have been quite worried though as I had 2x day 3 embryo (8cells) transfer on Thursday and all of this sickness and straining cannot be doing them any good. Hopefully they are clinging on in there. They should be developing into blasts today if all going well. I keep visualising them burrowing in.

Hopefully after a bit of recovery over this bank holiday weekend I will be well enough to go to work on Tuesday.

[CharlieJ]

4dp3dt.
Nothing much to report. Boobs a bit sore but I had that before the transfer so not suggesting it is a pregnancy symptom. Still very very early days. Tummy swelling has gone down a lot since I managed to go the toilet! But bunged up again! Drinking lots of prune juice to no avail at the moment. 
Been going on daily walks with fiancé and trying to give myself small jobs to distract myself. Went out to a  friends house last night to help her with her wedding favours. A few friends from work were there to. Was nice to have a catch up and didn't have to talk about my IVF journey too much. I hate talking about it now. It's so old and worry that I'm starting to sound like a scratched record. Had a lovely evening with lots of laughs which was well needed.
I'll be going back to work tomorrow- bit worried as I'm mentally fragile -as in it won't take much to make me cry so hoping I don't make a fool of myself in front of work colleagues. Just keep my head down and get some work done.
The only other thing to mention is that I often feel dizzy when I stand up which is what happened last time. I think it's mainly due to me sitting down for a long period of time then standing so not reading into that too much either.
Going for a walk today around a local park (I wanted to go see Dismaland but think tickets are fully booked). Then me and fiancé are working on wedding invitations and making roast dinner later tonight. 

[CharlieJ]

It's now 14dp3dt we got our  On OTD but this time the test line was very dark! Darker than the control line which I am taking as a positive sign. With my previous 2 cycles the lines have been quite faint. Still not having any symptoms really. I was quite shocked as the lack of symptoms led me to believe it hadn't worked this time.
Bit worried that tummy is a bit bloated as my clinic said as I had so many eggs it is possible that if I get pregnant that the OHSS could strike... So monitoring that carefully.

Breast tissue is still a bit sore but not nipples (had this since EC). Quite tired but may be down to IVF recovery. Got my viability scan booked in for 29th Sept. This makes me very anxious. Even though we have had BFP for previous 2 cycles I've never made it to the 1st scan. Seems like ages away. I really hope and pray that this is our third time lucky. Im quietly excited but it's such early days.

[CharlieJ]

17dp3dt still going strong. We did another hpt yesterday which came up very dark and quickly. But still not feeling pregnant. It's really unnerving me. I know that most women who can conceive normally will be like "just enjoy the lack of symptoms". But most of us IVF ladies WANT to feel that something is happening.
Going to have blood tests tomorrow and Wednesday to see what doubling time is doing. Really praying this is it. I've got far to excited and happy that if all goes tits up now it will crush me to beyond rock bottom.
Positive thoughts.....positive thoughts.....positive thoughts 

[CharlieJ]

21dp3dt. Had my HCG blood test on Monday and Wednesday to see what doubling time was up to. The first result was 3700 and the second 6700 (I can't remember the exact numbers). Essentially the doubling time was 54 hours which is apparently normal with the level they are at. I found it slightly reassuring but I know that it will be the ultrasound that will really tell us what is happening. We have 2 scans lined up. One next Friday (6+4) then one the following Tuesday (7+1). Hoping and praying that we see a hb. 
Getting really anxious now as I keep thinking it might all be taken away at any given moment.

[CharlieJ]

6+1 today. Roll on scan on Friday! I still have no significant pregnancy symptoms which I was expecting to have by now. Worrying me big time. If anything my boobs are a bit less tender today. Not a good sign but I must stay positive.   

[CharlieJ]

I'm so sorry diary I've been terrible at updating. As you can see from my signature things seem to be going well. Still feeling like it's too good to be true. At our last scan on Friday we saw the baby wiggling around and measuring 3cm now. 10+4 tomorrow and symptom wise I've had no sickness I could say a couple of times I have felt nauseous but I think I'm getting of lightly here. Boobs a bit tender and slightly bigger but again not terrible. My main symptom is tiredness. I'm managing to get through a day at work but am so so overly tired in the evenings. Always in bed by 9-9.30. Poor fiancé is doing all the housework.
I'm still very anxious and needing weekly scans to reassure me. The last couple of nights I've had achey pains in my lower abdomen which is freaking me out a bit... But I have a private scan booked tomorrow to see how things going.
Got a long weekend booked off of work so hopefully can get some extra rest.
I had an appointment though for my 12 week scan on 4th November which is an amazing prospect.  I do hope we get there and this dream continues xx