ICSI #3&4 diary

[CharlieJ]

12 week scan looking good. I had the combined test for Down's syndrome and will get the risk score next week some time. Baby looked really happy, wiggling around. Measuring well.  I'm not entirely sure but I think I have felt a few fluttery feelings. I can't wait to feel the baby making big movements . This will reassure me no end.

In terms of symptoms I have been getting off quite lightly. No significant nausea only now and again when I'm hungry. Boobs sensitive and bigger but not terrible. Very very tired. This is my main symptom. Finding it hard not to go to bed before 9pm! But still managing full time work. Starting to get a little bump. Skin feels tight already. I hope and pray this pregnancy continues well 

I think I will feel more relaxed after we know baby is normal and healthy. Still can't quite believe in 12 weeks pregnant. I never thought we'd be here. Delighted. 

[FertilityFriends]

[CharlieJ]

It's New Year's Day 2016! Pleased to say that our 20 week anomaly scan went swimmingly. Baby is healthy and measuring a week ahead. The sonographer thinks it's a little girl! So excited. We are planning a visit to mother care to look at baby stuff as we haven't brought anything yet as have been too scared.
We never thought we would ever get to this stage. So for all those in between cycles or failing cycles please stick with it.... It does work xx
Happy new year to you all xx

[CharlieJ]

23+2 today. It's going rather slowly but very pleased that out little angel is kicking and punching me now and again. It's a very soft feeling but I expect it will get stronger as she does. Something else to panic over now.... I'm a bit obsessed with the movements as my midwife said to look out for reduced movements. It seems to be quite intermittent with no real pattern. I've suddenly realised that I'm probably going to worry about her for the rest of my life (in a good way).
Next midwife appointment next Wednesday. 

[CharlieJ]

Sorry it's been so long. I had a fairly uneventful rest of pregnancy. I loved every minute of it. After a 2 day labour my little girl arrived safely 1 week before her due date weighing in at 6lbs 15oz. What an amazing journey it has been. Although I am the most tired I have ever been she is well worth it. She is snoozing in my arms right now looking angelic. She will be 12 weeks old next week.
I was just reading some of the ladies posts on here and got rather tearful remembering the pain and anguish going through cycles not knowing if this will be the successful cycle. It really can work for no other reason than luck. If it is your dream to have a family- keep at it. It works! I'm praying for success and relief for all you ladies who are struggling with infertility 

[CharlieJ]

OMG. Am I back on here planning cycle 4?? For baby no2? Will it take another 3 cycles for a sibling for DD? I really hope not I don't think I could go through another 3 cycles mentally. Also worried about the impact it might have on my daughter if it doesn't work and how I will react to everything.
I have approached my clinic today and I will get an appointment with my consultant in the post. They warned me that we may have to update some tests. So not expecting things to kick off any time soon.
I'm hoping to have a repeat of my successful cycle as closely as possible- obviously my body may respond differently. I'm worried about tolerating the internal bits of the process. I'll probably go for the scratch again- I know how horrid that was so might ask if I can be lightly sedated. This may help with the pain I have from scar tissue left from birth of DD. No worried at all about drugs just the procedures!
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by hauling myself through this again. I've only just felt like myself again after a VERY VERY long time.
Will write again after appointment with Dr.
Am I  ?

[CharlieJ]

So had our appointment with the doctor on Wednesday and we have been given the go ahead for cycle no.4. I'm not sure whether to call it cycle no.4 or cycle no.1 for sibling. 
She said all our blood results are within range and husbands SA just just a tiny bit worse than last year. She gave me some Diazepam to help with my anxiety before having the scratch done. I asked her lots of questions about doing the same things as last time when it was successful but she said to just listen to the advice of the professionals at each stage. The main thing I'm worried about it whether to opt for day 3 transfer. For some reason I'm stuck on this point. Well I know exactly why- because my failed cycles i had good quality blasts transferred and they didn't take. Hmmm. As a scientist myself rationally thinking I should take the advice from the professionals right??
Anyway been to the 'insisted on' patient information evening tonight (I could have taken the session myself). Joke. It was a good refresher but I did know pretty much everything. That's what happens when you ride the IVF roller coaster- you do so much research that you become somewhat of an expert.
So next step. Wait for my period to start in March....

[CharlieJ]

Well my period started 9th March so I start down regulation on 27th March. Sniffs start 29th March.  Endometrial scratch booked in for 30th March. Aggghhhh! We have a planning appointment on 20th March to go through dates properly and to sign some consent forms. Luckily my DH has leave booked for both days so he can drive me up and help me look after DD. It's one thing I'm worried about this time- my daughter and her comfort throughout this cycle. Hopefully I can call on local family and friends to watch her whilst I zip up and down the motorway for various scans, blood tests ect.
I've been having quite a lot of migraines more than usual which I think may be related to the worry of up and coming events. I'm trying my best to carry on living life well and fun filled for the sake of my little family but I know that its going to be tough at points.
On a separate note I also have some fillings coming up with my dentist (also a whimp when it comes to the dentist chair). So I'm feeling like all I have in the diary (besides my daughters christening this weekend ) are horrible appointments where im going to be poked and prodded 
Ah well I've been through a lot over the past few years I expect I'll be just fine. Just have to keep thinking of the end result... hopefully another little miracle ‍‍‍

[CharlieJ]

What a lovely first Mother's Day. Sun has been shining all weekend. DH cooked a stunning roast dinner. DD was relatively well behaved. I managed to have a bath which is unheard of. We are suffering with a cough & cold at the moment but it hasn't really affected my enjoyment of the day.
I had my dentist appointment yesterday which was fine except giant needle to numb my face was a bit stressful. Only a small filling. Phew.
So tomorrow is the start of down regulation. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this cycle. I keep visualising myself running off into the fields away from all this emotional stress. I'm finding it hard mentally committing to this cycle- it's like I haven't accepted that it's starting up again. I've never really suffered with side effects from the drugs so hoping for a similar reaction this time. It'll just be a dull couple of weeks before stimulation starts. I need to keep my mind occupied or I might actually loose it. I've started up my weekly acupuncture sessions which I feel is helping in some way (not financially though!).
Will update after the dreaded scratch on Thursday. 😱

[CharlieJ]

Well that was a much better experience than last time. I took 1000mg of paracetamol and 400mg ibuprofen about 40mins before and a 5mg Diazepam 30mins before (which was too soon (optimal maybe 15mins). The actual scratching wasn't as bad- unsure if this is because he was more gentle or the effects of the Diazepam or the fact I have had a baby. But it was fine. Phew.
I started Northisterone on Monday and started sniffs yesterday. My cough & cold is on it's way out and not feeling too bad at all.  DD is getting over her cold too so is being a bit less naughty.
Next up is a blood test in about 1.5 weeks to see if I can start injections.
Got a few nice things lined up... acupuncture, lunches, easter with family. It's all good 

[CharlieJ]

I started stimulation injections on Wednesday so only day 2 at the moment. I'd forgotten how they can sting. The down regulation was giving me horrid headaches so hoping they might get less frequent now. I'm feeling like my ovaries are 'fizzing' so hopefully there are some eggs developing nicely in there.
Its Easter weekend now so me, DH & DD are just chilling, doing jobs around the house and planning some nice meals to have.
First egg scan on weds next week so will update then. Feeling relatively relaxed