* Author Topic: PGD for NF1. #1, #2, #3 #4 #5 #6= BFN'; surrogacy #7 = BFP.  (Read 23920 times)

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Offline Carrie88

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So whilst Iíve got some time; I thought I should fill this in and inform people of the next part that was our journey. It will be the final chapter in the book.

So April 2018, after the 6th failed transfer in March and 4 months after my husbands dad died we went up to Whitby for a few days with my parents.
Mark always makes me a hotel brew in bed whenever we go away. I never get one at home haha but always when we go away. So he made me this brew and we were in a very old hotel with amazing features and I was looking out the window and I just thought surrogacy. Surrogacy is what Iím doing next. Weíre going to Georgia.

Georgia were lovely and really helpful but basically we were really struggling to get our embryos out of the country due to HFEA regulations. We basically tried from June onwards. Doing a cycle in Georgia was out because of the pgd aspect that we needed....although they did do pgd, It was difficult as marks parents werenít alive so the probe would of been so difficult to make.

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    Offline Carrie88

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    So we were stuck. I was falling into a really low period of mood, all my friends had babies and I felt left behind on insta too.
    November 2018 I went for a meal with my friend and she handed me a letter where she then offered again to be our surrogate. This friend had actually offered before but weíd said no because we felt guilty at the thought of putting a close friend through 9 months of life upheaval and pain. The letter was lovely and she truly wanted to do this for us so I went home after our meal and spoke to Mark. He cried and we agreed that we would say yes.

    The next part was finding a clinic that would accept me for surrogacy as there was no real reason I couldnít carry.
    Care in Manchester refused to use our already frozen embryos.
    Manchester fertility told me I didnít qualify for surrogacy as 6 failed frozen transfers isnít a reason (even though at the time on their website it said it was) - itís no longer on their website.
    Liverpool womenís then said yes I could have an appointment with their surrogacy consultant and they would accept our 2 frozen embryos (they were both 5CB and poor quality)

    In January 2019 we went to see Dr Drakley there who id heard was quite to the point and had refused surrogacy before to couples. Well he said yes to us and so we started the ball rolling.
    The next few months were blood tests, a million form filling in, all seperate appointments, counselling, my friend needed a will, we both needed seperate legal advice etc. It was a lot to do.

    We also decided to do a new pgs and pgd round with crgh. I went off work with stress during this cycle as I needed to be in London every day. Crgh were amazing.
    We ended up with 8 blasts to transfer.
    3 weeks later the call came and it wasnít good news.
    6 had NF and 2 of them had other chromosome abnormalities. The other 4 that had NF were PGS normal.
    1 was free from NF but had pataus syndrome.
    1 had to be rebiopsied.

    We were devastated. Weíd paid £15,000 for this cycle and had to pay £5k to build the new probe. Guys had found some of marks parents blood still so the probe could be built.
    It was a really really hard pill to swallow these results.

    Offline Carrie88

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    So the new embryo got rebopsied. I really wanted to transfer a embryo I knew was pgs and pgd normal hut we decided to roll with one of the poor ones made in 2016 for a September transfer.
    At the end of August we went to Whitby again for a few days and got a call to say that the embryo that had been re sent off had come back normal!!! Normal!! We couldnít use the crgh embryo though because Liverpool would have to wait 3 months after creation to be used. This is because mark and I would need to be retested for infectious diseases such as HIV etc.

     We were doing a natural cycle so beginning of September my friend called Liverpool with her cd1 and then her ovulation day.
    Transfer was booked in for 11th September.

    We got the call in the morning from Liverpool to say an embryo was being taken out and theyíd call us with a transfer time once they knew the embryo had defrosted. It was poor quality so they had to be extra cautious and if it didnít survive could they use the other one? I said they could but I didnít have high hopes.
    I did no work that morning but they called me at 11am to say the embryo had survived and was growing fine and transfer was in an hour.
    This was it.

    Offline Carrie88

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    I set off for Liverpool (I worked 40 minutes away) and my friend set off from north wales but called me to say she was gonna be late as thereíd been an accident on the only road out of north wales. I panic called Liverpool who said not to worry, weíll transfer whenever she gets here.
    Luckily she only ended up being a few minutes late. Transfer went smoothly. It was surreal too.

    The 2ww when youíre in it but not is very weird. I didnít really think about it at all. Our test day was a Sunday but at 9dp5dt on the Friday I asked my friend to wee on a stick. She did and we had a faint BFP on there!!

    Offline Carrie88

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    I could see it and all my lovely friends and ivf friends could see it but mark couldnít. He couldnít see the line. I think we have built in line eyes though for this.
    So I went off to work and Cos id announced it on insta and my insta is ivf and personal a lot of people already knew. Risky? Maybe. But I felt I needed the support. I didnít want to do a private sensitive post and block out real life people. I needed to talk about it.

    So then we began the next 2ww, waiting for our scan date at Liverpool womenís. This was the worst wait. Harder than the 2ww in my opinion.
    The scan was on 16th October at 1pm. I think I got there about half 11. Mark was in work. He was coming to the 12w one but not this one.
    We got into the room and they talked us through what would happen and I just burst into tears. I really felt the stress and anxiety at this point.
    So my friend got on the bed and I sat at the top. There was 2 nurses scanning. Iíll never forget that moment where they moved the screen away from us, it was silence for a minute and then one of them did a thumbs up.
    We had a heartbeat!!! And we were measuring 3 days ahead.

    Offline Carrie88

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    That was the most amazing feeling at the first scan and something I will treasure forever.
    I found the wait between the 8w one and 12w one also hard, especially as I kept seeing sad news on my ivf insta, that was quite triggering for me so I became pretty quiet online just to get through the days.

    Our 12w scan was a Monday afternoon. We were called in and once again everything was ok and great. It was the first time Mark had seen the baby and he was just mesmerised.
    We were told we were consultant led because of my friends bmi, her age and the fact itís an ivf/surrogacy pregnancy so weíre getting growth scans every 3 weeks from 28w onward.

    Offline Carrie88

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    We got to the 20w scan and I felt nervous for this too in case they found something wrong.
    All was ok and we found out we were having a little boy!
    Mark cried and was so emotional, but we were both over the moon.
    I emailed Liverpool womenís to let them know and they were so pleased too.

    After the 20w scan I felt ready to buy things then. Iíve got a lot of second hand stuff. Iíve bought second hand nursery furniture (itís a £600 mamas and papas set that I got for £250), my friends have given me bags and bags of clothes, their Moses basket and I bought a second hand tutti bambini crib, just need a new mattress.

    Baby isnít going to have a room as were also planning a double story house extension that will be starting in April/May. Itís going to take 3-5 months and weíre making it a 4 bedroom house (currently 3), adding a utility room, a downstairs toilet and a bigger kitchen.
    Iím probably crazy having a baby and an extension but the upheaval an extension creates I donít think thereís ever a good time xx

    Offline Carrie88

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    We hit the 3rd trimester tomorrow and on Wednesday (my birthday) we have our first 28w growth scan. Praying everything is all going ok.

    Iíve not bought anything else since the last post but Iím going to the baby show in Manchester in a couple of weeks so will hopefully buy most things then.
    I went to a pram shop with my parents and weíve decided on our pram, the cosatto WOW, just need to order it.


    Offline Carrie88

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    28 week scan went ok.
    Importantly baby is fine and healthy.

    Not so great news is heís currently footling breech which apparently is the worst and most dangerous sort of breech and the hardest to move. Iím hoping heíll move before labour as it will mean a c section for my friend if not but Iím not hopeful.

    Has anyone had any experience of footling breech? And baby moving? Please can you DM me if so?

    Offline Carrie88

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    32 weeks now and boy how things have changed over the past month.

    We had our 31 week scan and boy is fine but is still footling breech despite my friend doing acupuncture and moxibustion.
    I am no longer allowed to any scans or onto the hospital grounds Cos of covid.

    We have no idea whatís going to happen with labour as itís only 1 birthing partner and my friend wants her partner to be there to support her too.

    Itís very difficult and scary times for everyone but add a baby and pregnancy into the mix too and itís unsettling.
    Itís coming to terms with the fact no one will be seeing my baby when heís here.
    I get no leaving meal with work anymore. I havenít even been able to say bye to my colleagues as weíre all working from home. I canít even empty my office drawers out.

    Iím just counting down the days now as I just want the baby and my friend to be safe x