* Author Topic: Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?  (Read 1534 times)

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Offline MovingOn2015

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Hi there,

This might be a bit of a rant but I would like to know if this is something common or hopefully uncommon.

I am just at the start of my journey and had my consultation to discuss my blood tests and internal scan results. The tests and scan were done on the NHS but my treatment won't be funded by the NHS as I am single.

The consultant I saw today was not very forthcoming with info, didn't even know what I was there for and started taking basic info and then straight into quoting the fees for tests and scans (which I already had and came to discuss with him as the results were lying straight in front of him!). Then he didn't know if I can still use the donor I had already chosen from a UK sperm bank (he treated it as Sperm is Sperm, nothing else) and pushed for using sperm from their bank which I refused. He doesn't seem to understand the emotional process of picking a donor.

Whilst I was having my scan I was already told that there was some fluid and a few endometrioma and a fibroid. He didn't even mention the fibroid and when I asked he said that we don't even need to talk about it as it is so small. I still would like to know whether it can grow or needs to be monitored etc. He also didn't give me the results of the blood tests, no numbers at all, nothing. Just said that I will need a lot of medication and then proceeded to calculate the treatment costs. I was astonished.

When I asked whether they offer multi cycle plans he just grinned and said that people only get a multicycle deal when they are very likely to need only one cycle so that the clinic can have the rest of the money (but that is for a different post). I left feeling really angry and confused and close to tears about such a cold and uncaring attitude. I am left wondering whether this particular consultant is simply arrogant or just had a bad day or might have an issue with single women.
I have made an appointment with another consultant for the same discussion and will hopefully have all my questions answered then.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? If yes, what did you do?

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    Offline Miss Sunshine22

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #1 on: 29/10/15, 20:22 »
    Hi MovingOn,

    Sorry you had a bad experience  ^hugme^. It's so disheartening when that happens. We tried another clinic (private) after our first two negative cycles. Although we liked the consultant where we had the negative cycles, we felt he was limited by what the NHS could offer, even though we were self funding. I had high hopes when we went for a consultation at this private clinic. There was a three month wait,  so it had to be good, right?  Wrong ... without doing any tests, the consultant dismissed our concerns and put all our failures down to my age. He made a couple of insensitive jokes to my DH about how it was easy for men, as their sperm didn't deteriorate with age, and called our case unremarkable and quite typical. He also gave me a preschool type lecture on statistics and odds (I didn't have the heart to tell him I actually had a postgraduate diploma in Statistics). We made a hasty retreat, and found our current clinic, where a full range of tests was carried out. Bilateral hydrosalpinx, and subsequently, before our DE cycle, high DNA sperm fragmentation were found so Icsi was recommended. I was also given a confirmed diagnosis of stage 4 endo, following laparoscopy.

    I think it's unethical of the consultant you saw to make a comment like that about multi cycle deals, and to criticise other treatment options, without knowing the full details. Of course, it's a business and clinics won't want to lose money. However, some clinics have separate funding arrangements for these deals, where you pay a separate company and not the clinic itself, to avoid accusations like this.

    So, bottom line. Go with your instinct. You're paying enough money for this, and if you don't feel listened to or taken seriously, find someone else. There are apparently some consultants out there who sleepwalk their way through, but thankfully there are also a lot of good ones who will really do their best to help.  Best of luck, and I hope it all goes well for you  ^hugme^

    Offline bombsh3ll

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #2 on: 29/10/15, 20:52 »
    Hi Movingon,

    Sorry your consultation didn't go well. Unfortunately care in the infertility sector can be very variable.

    First off, ask the clinic which carried out your tests for written copies of all results. You are entitled to have the results in writing, there may be a small fee but it can be very useful both for your own information and to use in consultations elsewhere.

    Secondly, the one upside to having to fund your own treatment is that you're free to shop around. Don't feel you have to stay at a clinic just because you've dealt with them before or you've spent ages on their wait list or it's nearest to you, if you are not comfortable with their approach. You really need to go somewhere you trust, and feel safe and confident with the team treating you.

    I didn't have a great experience on my second cycle and a few issues rung alarm bells for me at the start, but because we'd been on the waiting list there for a year (NHS self funded) & I had it all planned out & arranged time off work, I didn't listen to my instinct.

    The consultant I saw initially tried to tell me there was still a chance I could conceive naturally! This was prior to reading my surgical notes from a laparotomy done at the very same hospital. Later he tried to persuade me to cycle a second time with an untreated hydrosalpinx - fortunately I'd done my homework and gone armed with the NICE guidelines. He refused my request for short protocol with cetrotide, which I had previous experience with & knew to be protective against OHSS which I'd had before & was at high risk of again, & when that ended in disaster he admitted that the reason they were still using the long protocol with buserelin was to time EC/ET so that they didn't have to open on weekends!

    I would suggest making a list of a few clinics which offer the treatment you require and are doable in terms of travel/time off etc, and which offer a free initial consultation. Visit at least two so that you have something to compare, try and speak to people who have had treatment there if possible, and go where you feel comfortable.

    I hope it works out for you,

    B xxx

    Offline MovingOn2015

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #3 on: 29/10/15, 20:53 »
    Hi Miss Sunshine22,

    thank you for your reply.

    I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through all of that. I agree, the best thing is to go with your instinct.
    You mentioning clinics who have separate funding deals made me think. You made a very good point there as at the moment I am thinking about the LondonWomensClinic and Manchester Fertility. I know that Manchester Fertility have a deal with Access Fertility but I think that the deal in London is solely the clinic. On the other hand London offers a three cycle deal and Manchester a 2 cycle deal....

    I saw from your signature that you are wondering whether to go ahead. Whatever you decide, I wish you good luck  :) xx

    Offline MovingOn2015

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #4 on: 29/10/15, 21:00 »
    Hi Bombsh3ll,

    that is really useful advice, thank you. I can't believe how reckless and selfish they were just not to open on weekends, that's so unprofessional of them. Wow, wow, wow.

    At the moment I am thinking of two different clinics but when I  called the LondonWomensClinic they said that I need to do the scan again which I find bizarre as I have the results.....well, WILL HAVE thanks to your advice about asking for them to be handed over to me.

    Thank you so much xx

    Offline Miss Sunshine22

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #5 on: 29/10/15, 21:04 »
    Hi MovingOn,

    It's interesting, isn't it, the fact that Manchester Fertility are funded externally and offer just two cycles. What will you do, do you think? Thanks for your good wishes. Am currently on meds, aiming for transfer start of November. Had to cancel first transfer attempt due to UTI,  plus we had holidays planned, plus second transfer attempt was delayed due to late AF, so we weren't sure when to transfer. Fingers crossed now it'll all go through.

    Offline MovingOn2015

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    Bad consultation? Anyone with similar experience?
    « Reply #6 on: 29/10/15, 21:20 »
    Hi Miss Sunshine22,

    yes, I think it's the contract that they have with Access Fertility. Of course they also offer their own IVF without it. I am not sure what both options at LondonWomensClinic and Manchester mean really...

    I hope your transfer goes well. I keep my fingers crossed for you xx