* Author Topic: ICSI 1, BFN with 1 frostie. ICSI 2, BFN. FET, BFN. ICSI 3 - BFP! Twins!  (Read 29762 times)

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Offline Cowshedbythesea

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Feeling a bit more stable these past few days. Last weekend I was awful, I never cry in front of people, yet my mate and my Mum were both subjected to me bawling.

I feel a bit more in control now, I've signed up for a three-month exercise and nutrition programme. Hoping to get myself in the best possible shape to maximise our chances next time.

Probably won't update until we've got our next cycle planned, hopefully that won't be too long.

x

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    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Here we go again, attempt four.

    We made a decision that enough is enough, no more egg sharing, no more waiting for NHS cycles, no more messing around.

    Yesterday I went to my planning appointment for a private round of ICSI. This will be the first round I haven't given away half my eggs, after my last, disastrous, fresh cycle - I need every chance I can get. We've called this our 'kitchen sink' round. Every single thing that is recommended to us, we'll do.

    I'm having the scratch, lubion, clexane (new for me), two weeks of antibiotics leading up to baseline scan (new), baby asprin (new), some steroids I've forgotten the name of and, if I'm lucky enough, two embryos transferred instead of one like normal. We are also going to mirror my first cycle, as that's the one I had 23, good quality eggs in.

    I'm nervous, as this is the first round we are paying full price for. It's a shock as to how much it's going to cost:

    £3875 - ICSI
    £150 - Scratch
    £1500-£2000 - Meds

    The meds aren't normally that expensive, but I need a lot of stimulation to get my eggies going, plus we are adding in a load of new meds, plus I need lubion progesterone support (i.e. injectable instead of pessaries) which are £6 a shot.

    Trying not to think about the money, it's got to be done. I don't know another route to having a child.

    Right, off to do a 5k run in the rain.  ^idiot^

    x

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Down regulation day 4.

    Iím down regging with 50ml of suprecur every evening. Apart from the usual headaches, Iím fine otherwise (though my next few sentences may suggest that Iím getting annoyed easier than normal!).

    Last night a friend of mine popped in, weíve been friends since we were kids and she knows all about our cycles. Her and her husband have decided to start TTC, and she kept going on, saying Ďcan I do this and can I do that.í She is so 100% convinced that she will get pregnant in her first month of trying that sheís acting like sheís pregnant already. Iíve got to applaud her commitment, but I find her niavety really annoying! Iím trying not to be all doom and gloom, but did suggest that she needs to prepare herself that it may take a while. She was saying things like ĎIíve become obsessedí and ĎIím acting crazy.í Iím trying to be a good friend, while simultaneously thinking Ďtry TTC for 5 years, spend tens of thousands of pounds you havenít got, put yourself through multiple rounds of IVF/ICSI, then see how fu%#$ng crazy you feel.í

    Like I said, maybe I am a bit more sensitive than normal 😂



    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Down regulation day 5.

    Had the scratch this morning, it hurt waaaaaay more than last time. No idea why! To be fair itís over really quickly though. A bit crampy now, but not in any real pain.

    My husband said my colour went and I looked really pale afterwards, but I had a cuppa and a biscuit afterwards and felt fine afterwards.

    One of my favourite nurses have me a pink fertility crystal, which I thought was really sweet. Iím not into all that stuff, but the thought was touching and Iíll try anything at this point!

    x

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Down regulation day 7.

    All is good, feeling ok. Stomach hurts a little if I sit down too quickly (from the scratch I think), but apart from that, all is good.

    Last day in the office today, then Iíve got 6 days of travelling ahead of me. Iím taking 5 flights during that time and going to 4 different countries. I got a letter from the clinic about my meds as thereís no way Iím parting with them!

    Hubby is with me until Sunday (heís coming on the first work trip with me), makes such a difference to my mood having him close.

    x

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Itís my last day on my first work trip today, been so lovely having my hubby with me. Weíve had a lovely time, weíve walked miles every day and eaten some lovely food. Had a bit of sun too while everyone in the UK has been snowed in. Sun and sea is definitely good for the soul 🙂

    Today he flies to the UK and Iím flying onto my second trip. Itís currently -7 there, so will be a bit of a change!

    Iím feeling ok at the moment, boobs are hurting today so Iím hoping thatís a good sign that AF is on her way. Iím downregging for a week longer than usual to make this cycle fit in with all my work commitments. At the end of the month I finish the contract Iím working on. Iím taking 2 weeks off completely then, if all goes to plan, Iím going home to with my hubby and staying there. Working away definitely takes itís toll!

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Iím on the last leg of my little trip, currently sat on the plane waiting to take off. Feeling a bit grumpy, my boobs were hurting so much last night I couldnít lie on my stomach to sleep, and as I can only sleep on my stomach I had very little sleep. The only good news is my boobs look awesome 😂

    Need to pay the balance for the IVF today, taking a deep breath before I bite the bullet...

    x

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Down regulation day 22

    It feels ridiculous even writing that 22 days is a frigging long time to DR. However, I'm purposely taking longer to time things right so I can have two weeks off work during the crucial time (egg collection, egg transfer and the first week of the two-week wait). Every other cycle I've carried on as normal, so trying things differently this time. My plan is to chill out completely, watch a tonne of crap on Netflix and eat some good food  :)

    The only flaw in my plan is that I can feel myself getting ill. I NEVER get ill, so this is really bloody bad timing. I've been fighting it for days, but today I've woken up feeling horrendous. I'm full of a cold, sore throat and a horrible headache. I don't think this will impact things, but it just makes everything harder. I'm juggling multiple clients, I'm still away from my husband for weeks at a time because of my work and my husband's grandmother has been told that she only has days left to live. That's a pretty huge amount of stuff going on before you add a round of ICSI and feeling like sh*t constantly.

    Sorry, positive upbeat Amie has left the building. Hopefully, she'll return soon!

    In other news, at the grand old age of 30, I've decided to get my very first tattoo. I've got my baseline scan appointment on Monday, so I'm going to ask if I can have it done now or if I need to wait until after the cycle.

    x


    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Stimms day 2

    Baseline scan went perfectly yesterday, lining was nice and thin, no cysts and ready to go.

    I started on 225 on bemfola yesterday, Iíve never used that one before - not 100% sure why itís been changed but Iím going with it. The nurse is nervous that Iím starting on a high dose, have PCOS and had 23 eggs in my first round so she wants to see me Friday. Itís really awkward with work as the contract Iím doing is hours away, just praying she doesnít want to see me in the middle of the week next week. Iíll have to pull a sicky if she does.

    I want two eggs put back this time, so Iím being really cautious about preventing OHSS, and I starting now. All the protein and water that I can shove in my mouth is going in! I canít control much on this journey, but this Iíll take control of. No problem.

    Itís been a hard week. My husbands grandmother passed away on Saturday, which was so sad. She was a lovely woman and the anchor of the family.

    Also some old business acquaintance has been making my husbands life really difficult, to the point where Iím considering getting a solicitor involved. He just needs a break and some peace, itís so hard when you see someone you love hurting.

    x

    Offline Cowshedbythesea

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    Stimms day 3

    Still full of a cold. Iím trying so hard to be kind to my body, got loads of chicken and veggies for lunch, lemon to have with hot water instead of so much tea (even though itís decaf) and just did my first guided meditation. Iím not into all that, but my logic is that dedicated time to relax canít be a bad thing! It wasnít too cheesy and I did find it quite relaxing, even if I was sniffing and sneezing all the way through!

    I did my first Bemfola injection without my husband last night. I was nervous because it was one of those pre-filled pens that I havenít used before, plus the needle is much bigger. Surprisingly it was really straightforward to do, and though the needle was bigger - it hurt less! I also have less of a bruise this morning from the injection I did than when my husband did it.

    Iíve only got 7 working days left, then Iím off for two weeks. I canít wait to go home, cuddle my dog and chill out completely.

    Got a busy day ahead, so best stop writing here and get ready for the day.